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Does he want sex? More than friends? im confused..

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  • Does he want sex? More than friends? im confused..

    So I started talking to this guy we will call him Alex. Alex and I met at school (we are both 17 almost 18), and somehow there was an instant friendship. We got eachothers snapchats and haven't stopped talking since- our lives are very similar but so opposite at the same time, he's more charismatic where i'm quiet and observe. He does whatever and i overthink everything (hence why im on this site). This summer we have been going on nonstop adventures between work shifts (we are pretty busy people), he told me he loves me and that our friendship is something he values and i reflect those same feelings- he always talks about how happy i make him and i do too. After a very busy work week, he came over to my house while my parents were gone so that we can binge watch parks and rec- we were sitting there and all the sudden we start making out, we made out and felt eachother up, i gave him a handjob, i have a hickey on my boobs it was a lot. I was afraid that it would be awkward between us but it isn't we sat in his car and talked and listened to music like nothing even happened.

    I texted him telling him that i would've been okay with going further and him taking my virginity and he replied saying he didnt want to contribute to any regret i may feel. I dont know if he wants sex and is just trying to be respectful or if he doesn't want sex. He did say he'd be down to do it again, i am just not sure if "it" includes sex.

    disclaimer: I have no feelings for this boy and i'm not sure if he has feelings for me, i trust him and i want to lose my virginity to him, we will use protection im also on the pill

  • #2
    Well my guess is that since he's a 17 year old guy, and the two of you were making out whilst you were playing with his dick, then yes he wanted to have sex with you. But there could be several reasons why he didn't try to. Perhaps he was just trying to be a good guy and not rush into something you regretted, like he said. Or perhaps he is a virgin too and has some anxiety around the situation. Who knows.

    I'm more interested in why you say that you don't have any feelings for him. It sure sounded like you might have feelings in your story. Are you sure you want to lose your virginity to someone who seems to be just a friend?

    Just because someone's by your side, it doesn't mean they're on your side.

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    • #3
      Originally posted by whatshappeningreg View Post
      Well my guess is that since he's a 17 year old guy, and the two of you were making out whilst you were playing with his dick, then yes he wanted to have sex with you. But there could be several reasons why he didn't try to. Perhaps he was just trying to be a good guy and not rush into something you regretted, like he said. Or perhaps he is a virgin too and has some anxiety around the situation. Who knows.

      I'm more interested in why you say that you don't have any feelings for him. It sure sounded like you might have feelings in your story. Are you sure you want to lose your virginity to someone who seems to be just a friend?
      I know he is not a virgin- i am pretty certain he was just being a good guy, but is he going to stick to this good guy persona? Because i do want to have sex with him. Like I said i don't know where my feelings are at, i just don't like the idea of a relationship right now; i don't want to ruin the beauty we have right now and i never do well with relationships (pretty sure i have some form of commitment issues).

      But yes, i want to lose my virginity to him. He is so kind and respectful and i am aware that he is not just using me for sex (because he 100% had the opportunity but chose to make sure i wouldn't regret it) i know this boy and trust him and i feel like this is the perfect situation.

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      • #4
        "commitment issues" at 17? Girl, you are going to shred your own heart once you start having sex with someone you have such a bond with already.

        He WILL have sex with you if you make out again, you have made it clear to him that you are sure thing so don't worry about that. What you should worry about is you own heart and what having uncommitted sex with someone may do to your emotional well being. At this point you (being a virgin) have no idea how you will handle no strings attached sex. How are you going to feel if he's fucking you and he gets himself a girlfriend who he gives his all to and you are left on the shelf?
        "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!

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        • #5
          All good points ^^



          Originally posted by phasesofthemoon View Post
          "commitment issues" at 17?
          *sighs*

          Us millennials are really fucked aren't we
          Just because someone's by your side, it doesn't mean they're on your side.

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          • #6
            Here's the facts: You want sex. He may not want sex (hesitated). If he doesn't want sex you cannot force him. It has nothing to do with you. Quit overanalyzing it and go have sex with someone else who will put out.

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            • #7
              Update; we talked last night and he DEFINITELY wants sex; he just didnít know if I wanted it with him because itís my virginity and all. Thank you all for your input!!

              I know now the risk of attachment is high, but really he was my first kiss and I felt no crazy connection or feelings or anything. Heís not really interested in relationships either- also focusing on school which is why this set up is perfect. Honestly, I just want to get losing my virginity out of the way to me itís not that big of a deal.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by tnbbd View Post
                Update; we talked last night and he DEFINITELY wants sex; he just didnít know if I wanted it with him because itís my virginity and all. Thank you all for your input!!

                I know now the risk of attachment is high, but really he was my first kiss and I felt no crazy connection or feelings or anything. Heís not really interested in relationships either- also focusing on school which is why this set up is perfect. Honestly, I just want to get losing my virginity out of the way to me itís not that big of a deal.
                Have fun!

                We'll be here to listen if you fall for him and he doesn't want you to.
                "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by phasesofthemoon View Post

                  Have fun!

                  We'll be here to listen if you fall for him and he doesn't want you to.
                  Hopefully you won't be hearing from me then!! fingers crossed

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by tnbbd View Post
                    Update; we talked last night and he DEFINITELY wants sex; he just didnít know if I wanted it with him because itís my virginity and all. Thank you all for your input!!

                    I know now the risk of attachment is high, but really he was my first kiss and I felt no crazy connection or feelings or anything. Heís not really interested in relationships either- also focusing on school which is why this set up is perfect. Honestly, I just want to get losing my virginity out of the way to me itís not that big of a deal.
                    Good luck. Bring mints. Use protection.

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