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Friends or something more

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  • Friends or something more

    About 2 years ago a married co-worker and I became friends. I was in a long-term relationship at the time we met. I am no longer in that relationship however he is not aware that we have broke up. There has never been anything physical except for he always hugs me when he sees me. After a year I moved companies. When I told him I was leaving he teared up and then ask me if I was getting a raise. The previous year he was going to leave the company and stayed after I asked him to not leave. So I felt very bad about leaving but when I told him it was a substantial raise he said he was very happy for me but to please come and tell him goodbye before I left that Friday. When I talked to him the day I left he told me that he appreciated everything I had done for him and that he did not think he could have made it through the previous year without me and did not know how he was going to make it through without me now and that he loved me. I didn't think anything of it because I assumed he meant he loved me as a friend being that there has never been anything physical between us. For the last year I have been at another company and we text each other almost everyday about gossip in our workplaces and how things are going in general in our lives when I go and see him at work he always hugs me and tells me how great it is to see me. He texts that he misses me and things are more fun with me if we haven't been able to talk he says he misses talking to me if he's not able to text or answer a phone call he always will text that he's so sorry but he didn't text back and gets back with me as soon as he can. A couple months back when I had gone to see him and he walked me out to the car when he gave me a hug he continued to hug me he is a good foot taller than me and he kiss me on top of the head and held the kiss while he was hugging me. He seems that he's very comfortable around me enough to change clothes in an adjoining room and continue talking to me while he changes clothes. Over the last year I feel like I have fallen in love with him. At this point I am confused because I don't know what I should do I love having him as a friend but I'm starting to feel like I would want something more but I'm okay with staying his friend what is confusing to me is I don't know how he feels about me. I just thought maybe somebody would have an idea of why I get the feeling that he has feelings for me. And if anyone has any suggestions. Please don't state he's married not really helpful.

  • #2
    So you don't want anyone to mention that you have been encouraging the attentions of a married man for two years? And why was he changing clothes in an adjoining room???

    His actions seem to indicate that he has tender feelings for you, but he's still married and he still has not suggested any hanky panky between you. Therefore, he is probably not willing to act on any feelings he may have for a variety of reasons.

    I think the decent thing to do, given the fact that he's married (Oh, I mentioned that again) is to start discouraging any more contact between you. Tell him that you don't think it's appropriate. If you need a boyfriend, I'm sure you can find someone who is unattached.
    "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay


    • #3
      Originally posted by Sammy1234567890 View Post
      Please don't state he's married not really helpful.

      What do you expect us to say? ''Go for it with the married man! That will turn out fine!'' Don't be absurd.

      You already know the correct course of action here which is why you asked us not to mention that he's married.
      Just because someone's by your side, it doesn't mean they're on your side.


      • #4
        I love having him as a friend but I'm starting to feel like I would want something more but I'm okay with staying his friend
        Sorry, he's a married man. You don't get to think you would want something more. Instead think of how you can get over your crush... start by stop visiting him at his place of work and slowly ending any other form of contact.

        Go find your own guy to crush on... this one is taken.
        "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!


        • #5
          I won't state that he is married (oops)

          I will state that he is not romantically interested in you at all.
          And you should stop interefering with a married man (oops)

          Get over your last relationship and stop using a married man (oops) for your attention needs.


          • #6
            Maggie, the OP specifically asked that we not mention the married man....(oops)
            "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay