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I wasn't sure where to post this because the thread titles don't seem to apply to my position. Hi, Im having a serious problem, it may not seem like a problem to everyone else, but it's a HUGE thing to me. I'm 34 yo, looking to find love/ a partner, but I dont know where to begin. I've had a girlfriend before and lost my virginity at 26 yo (everyone else I know was doing this 10 years before me). The woman I was with couldn't find anyone either and approached me (out of desperation) in a pub when I was out for a birthday, she was one of my friends other friends.
I've spent all my life so far being side lined by girls/women, from the time that I was in school to present day. All the way through school, college and university, women have always just ignored me, I've often wondered if I even exist. Its got to the point where I don't even attempt to acknowledge them anymore because I know it achieves nothing and very often leaves me in a state of depression for many weeks, sometimes months (only my closest friends know about the depession), this also includes several occasions when suicide seemed like a nice solution (one of my good friends killed himself 8-9 years ago and he hasn't had to deal with any of this since he did it). This is why I'm trying a forum for the first time, looking for help.
I may as well be 12 years old again, I have no idea what to do or say, I read ALOT of articles and watch ALOT of vids on dating/relationship advice and all that, but this has never helped. All the things in these articles and vids, can't be done (by me). Ive tried everything I can think of, and have been doing so since I was around 12 yo. Women just don't give a crap about me, I hear all these things about having money, being healthy etc, but they dont work, I've tried them.
My friends have been telling me for around 15 years that there's nothing wrong with me (me and my friendship group are all smart and decent people), but I struggle to believe them because the reaction I get from women is one of pure disdain. They tell me to "talk" to women (like I haven't tried that already)...and again, same thing. Talking to women at clubs, bars , party's is out of the question, tried that for years and it doesn't work (for me).
In spite of my friends being very supportive, I'm convinced beyond any doubt that there is a major flaw in me, as a person. Physically im ok, 5 ft 6, 60KG/9 stone, Ive always been active and have been a Lifeguard for 8 years and a Fitness Instructor for 5 years, facially I'm reasonably decent looking. You can tell me for 15 years that I have 6 legs, but when I look down, I see 2, I've always had 2, know what I mean?
Basically, I need advice, WTF am I supposed to do? I understand Algebra better that I understand this problem (and my Maths is terrible). Everyone else I know seems to have it together, I see couples in bars/restuarants or walking holding hands, getting married, having kids,and being happy and I think to myself 'How did he do that? How the hell did he make that happen?'...I don't know!
Im embrarrssed that I have to do this at 34 years old, but I'm out of options.
(My Dad would be ashamed)
Pabloe Guise
P.S - Please don't tell me to "just be yourself", I've always been myself, never been anybody else. I think being myself might be the problem.
I've spent all my life so far being side lined by girls/women, from the time that I was in school to present day. All the way through school, college and university, women have always just ignored me, I've often wondered if I even exist. Its got to the point where I don't even attempt to acknowledge them anymore because I know it achieves nothing and very often leaves me in a state of depression for many weeks, sometimes months (only my closest friends know about the depession), this also includes several occasions when suicide seemed like a nice solution (one of my good friends killed himself 8-9 years ago and he hasn't had to deal with any of this since he did it). This is why I'm trying a forum for the first time, looking for help.
I may as well be 12 years old again, I have no idea what to do or say, I read ALOT of articles and watch ALOT of vids on dating/relationship advice and all that, but this has never helped. All the things in these articles and vids, can't be done (by me). Ive tried everything I can think of, and have been doing so since I was around 12 yo. Women just don't give a crap about me, I hear all these things about having money, being healthy etc, but they dont work, I've tried them.
My friends have been telling me for around 15 years that there's nothing wrong with me (me and my friendship group are all smart and decent people), but I struggle to believe them because the reaction I get from women is one of pure disdain. They tell me to "talk" to women (like I haven't tried that already)...and again, same thing. Talking to women at clubs, bars , party's is out of the question, tried that for years and it doesn't work (for me).
In spite of my friends being very supportive, I'm convinced beyond any doubt that there is a major flaw in me, as a person. Physically im ok, 5 ft 6, 60KG/9 stone, Ive always been active and have been a Lifeguard for 8 years and a Fitness Instructor for 5 years, facially I'm reasonably decent looking. You can tell me for 15 years that I have 6 legs, but when I look down, I see 2, I've always had 2, know what I mean?
Basically, I need advice, WTF am I supposed to do? I understand Algebra better that I understand this problem (and my Maths is terrible). Everyone else I know seems to have it together, I see couples in bars/restuarants or walking holding hands, getting married, having kids,and being happy and I think to myself 'How did he do that? How the hell did he make that happen?'...I don't know!
Im embrarrssed that I have to do this at 34 years old, but I'm out of options.
(My Dad would be ashamed)
Pabloe Guise
P.S - Please don't tell me to "just be yourself", I've always been myself, never been anybody else. I think being myself might be the problem.
You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!
)
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