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Was it a mistake?

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  • Was it a mistake?

    First of all this happened less than 24hrs ago so I might be jumping the gun, however this is totally new to me!

    A little backstory, I'm 18 and never been in a relationship to me, the concept is pretty foreign although I wouldn't say I'm avoiding one. I guess the confusion with my sexuality hasn't helped however over the last 18moths I've been trying both guys and girls to see if any sparks fly. Scroll forward to a few months back and on a social dating app I got talking to a guy named Kieran (both having the same name we found it funny and hot talking). Now the convo wasn't flowing like a fine Shakespearean performance however we we're making each other laugh. Sadly the conversation did sort of fade out until December where it resparked and we added each other on Facebook, snapchat and phone numbers were exchanged. Now he was going through a lot, depression and border suicidal however we still talked but never met in person. He said he wasn't in a good place but enjoyed talking to me and didn't want to drag me into his current situation. Come 1st Jan...my heart hurt,
    'Is now in a relationship' appears on my Facebook. We were only talking, why did this hurt? But I was happy for him. We still talked but more as friends, exchanging funny pictures, dog pics and selfies. Recently Kieran and his new BF went away and we stopped talking during this period. No replies, just left on read.

    Scroll back to the weekend and we started talking again. General chatter and how his BF was so far away (a good 40 minute train journey) and how he would only see him once a week. Then the modern day equivalent of sexing happened....oh Snapchat. Yes I felt bad, yes I knew it was wrong, he's in a relationship why did I do this. He sent the first picture, he started it? Yesterday we talked again and ended up meeting for a drink. He lived close by so I picked him up and we went to the local for a few. This was our first time in person talking however we already knew each other extremely well. Now at this point we wet both still sober and ended up back at mine laying on my bed on our phones whilst Netflix was on in the background.

    Some how it happened...the deed was done, we did the do, however you wanna put it...we slept together. Afterwards he was showing me pics on his phone of funny images, and vids he'd taken of him drunk. Both laughing till it hurts, all I could look at was the notifications dropping down from his BF asking how he was. In the space of 15 minutes there must have been atleast 8 texts, 5 Facebook messages and a few snaps from his BF.

    We were talking and I offered him a lift home and the topic of him was brought up. We were talking like friends, he mentioned his Bf had said the L word and he returned with a less meaningful response. Apparently it was too early to know?

    None of this should of happened but now all I can think about is him, I want him. He can't really want his BF if he's happy to sleep with me? And suggest for it to happen again. Am I thinking about this all wrong or am I way out of my depths. I've fallen for him.

    What do I do! Do I cut off all contact? Do I see where the wind blows, we're still talking but I can't help feel sorry for his BF

    TL;DR - A guy I talked to a long time ago who now has a Boyfriend slept with me a few days ago and now I can't help but think about him.

  • #2
    He put you off meeting him because he wasn't in a good place. That place was that he was already talking to someone else and likely had already met his current bf.
    He didn't message you while away with his bf because he didn't have the "freedom" to.
    He met you out of curiosity and on a day where he had nothing else on. And possibly freaked out by his bfs L word declaration.

    You don't know him apart from his online persona. You met him once in person, had sex. And after that single meet you have "fallen" for him? He can't cope with the L word within a relationship that he has publicly declared he is in on fb, imagine how he would feel if he thought you fell for him after a few hrs of drinks , Netflix and sex?!

    This guy does not want to be in a faithful relationship so forget him. Besides he is clearly a mess.

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    • #3
      You're young and inexperienced so I am sure you will ignore this, but I'll try anyway...

      It's dumb to think that this guy wants to be with you. He has cheated on his boyfriend with you - yes. But this does not mean that he wants to skip off into the sunset with you. What it likely means is that he's happy to just sleep around in general.

      He's shown absolutely no interest in committing to you or anything like that. If you think that he's going to leave his boyfriend and all of a sudden be a loving and loyal partner to you, then you're foolish.

      I doubt that you have fallen for this guy, but instead are just caught up in the whirlwind of these new experiences. I think the best thing would be to withdraw from this guy before you become any more emotionally attached.

      I doubt he's that interested in you. I mean, he was still talking to his boyfriend whilst you were driving him home for god's sake.

      Just because someone's by your side, it doesn't mean they're on your side.

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