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Coming out of my shell

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  • Coming out of my shell

    So believe it or not, I'm quite a "shy" but not quite "Introverted" person.

    One of the things that's holding me back (for lack of a better phrase) with promotion at work is my outward persona.

    In short, they want me to be friendlier, greet people with a smile and all that bullshit that isn't me.

    Unfortunately, to play the game, I need to make it me.

    Anyone got any resources or suggestions on how I can come out of my shell a bit? I'm sure it'd help me in other places, but mainly I need to be more approachable at work.
    PLEASE use PARAGRAPHS when you post, we’re more likely to read your post.
    For more information on paragraphs please press your enter key whilst typing a post.

    They're = They are (eg, They're not wearing any clothes!)
    Their = Possessive (eg, Check out their boobies!)
    There = locality (eg There is a naked chick in the water)
    Your = Possessive (eg I can see your boobies through that wet t-shirt)
    You're = You are (eg You're getting dressed? Damn...)

  • #2
    Re: Coming out of my shell

    What field of work are you in? I used to be really shy, but my job is essentially customer support right now. I am forced to help people, now I have no problems meeting and greeting folks.

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    • #3
      Re: Coming out of my shell

      I work in IT and am the sole IT support guy for 80% of issues
      PLEASE use PARAGRAPHS when you post, we’re more likely to read your post.
      For more information on paragraphs please press your enter key whilst typing a post.

      They're = They are (eg, They're not wearing any clothes!)
      Their = Possessive (eg, Check out their boobies!)
      There = locality (eg There is a naked chick in the water)
      Your = Possessive (eg I can see your boobies through that wet t-shirt)
      You're = You are (eg You're getting dressed? Damn...)

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      • #4
        Re: Coming out of my shell

        Originally posted by OvershareDude View Post
        I work in IT and am the sole IT support guy for 80% of issues

        I worked at this place for a short while and I always envied the sole IT guy. It must be nice to be the only person who knows anything about your field in the company.

        Anyway I started to write something but then I realized that I should just recommend the book "How to Win Friends and Influence People." Probably the only book you ever need on becoming popular with people.

        Shyness is probably from a lack of confidence around people. I would practice striking conversations with random people OUTSIDE of work for a while. I occasionally chat with people at 7/11 or wherever to improve my social skills. Then take that experience and translate it to work when you feel more comfortable. That way you don't have the pressure of how you appear at work bothering you.

        Smiling is definitely a good start and a even a fake forced smile is probably better than none at all.

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        • #5
          Re: Coming out of my shell

          It's not easy being in a support function like IT. You're there to help other people - people who, by the nature of the company you work at, have no hope of being able to repay you for your services, at least while at work. It's very easy to feel like people are taking advantage of your good nature. It also has sounded in the past like it's the same people calling you over and over again, no matter how much you try to prevent ID10T errors and whatnot.

          Unlike you, I moved into a service role from a, er, user role. That gives me an advantage, that I understand - at least to some extent - where my users are coming from, and how bloody awful it can be to be in their shoes. I don't envy these people their positions, and I know that I could never do what they do... so I try to help make it as easy as possible to do the job I have to help them with, so they can move on with their lives.

          If there's one thing I've learned about you in all the years I've known you, OSD, it's that you have an incredible amount of empathy, especially for those you care about. The number of times you've listened to me whine about stupid crap, and actually helped me feel better about it, is too high to count. I consider myself lucky to know you and even luckier to be your friend.

          Keeping in mind where they're coming from when they call or come to you - whether it's that the printer died right when they needed to assemble the binders for that big presentation, or they were taking their only break in a 12-hour day and managed to get themselves a virus from that free porn site they weren't supposed to be viewing anyway - will help you cultivate working relationships with your user community.

          The smiling part... well, I just tell everyone they don't really know if it's a good smile or an evil smile, and that seems to satisfy all around.
          The worthwhile problems are the ones you can really solve or help solve, the ones you can really contribute something to. ...
          No problem is too small or too trivial if we can really do something about it.
          -- Richard Feynman (Nobel laureate (physics), 1918-1988)

          Use your spoons wisely.

          Give it time. Always, give it time.

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          • #6
            Re: Coming out of my shell

            Ha, I am IT as well, been doing my job for 5/6 years, started as an intern, then support (helpdesk), then engineer, and now I am an applications analyst. The best way to climb your social ladder is to befriend people while you help them.

            Are you solely remote support? All of my bosses throughout the years have always encouraged actually going to the person to help them to get our 'faces out there' instead of remotely connecting in or assisting over the phone.

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            • #7
              Re: Coming out of my shell

              I mix up the remote/face time- I remote if I feel I'm going to need my PC at the same time.

              Well, I've been called assistant for the last 5.5 years but the role has evolved to more, without the formal acknowledgement. I'm slowly growing though. A few months ago I got my own office, today I got told I can change my title, so I"m going for Information Systems Engineer (not allowed to call myself System Administrator yet) but no pay rise.
              Baby steps.

              My role started as a helpdesk type role, Office products, printer support and the like. Now I manage 17 physicals, 30 virtuals + VMware View VDI environment
              PLEASE use PARAGRAPHS when you post, we’re more likely to read your post.
              For more information on paragraphs please press your enter key whilst typing a post.

              They're = They are (eg, They're not wearing any clothes!)
              Their = Possessive (eg, Check out their boobies!)
              There = locality (eg There is a naked chick in the water)
              Your = Possessive (eg I can see your boobies through that wet t-shirt)
              You're = You are (eg You're getting dressed? Damn...)

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Coming out of my shell

                I also recommend attending any company events and/or groups/committees. Visibility is extremely important for internal growth.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Coming out of my shell

                  Well I'm deputy Fire Warden and the Occ. Health and Safety Committee member for my area. I hate crowds of people so attending a company event would be quite uncomfortable for me and may do more harm than good.
                  PLEASE use PARAGRAPHS when you post, we’re more likely to read your post.
                  For more information on paragraphs please press your enter key whilst typing a post.

                  They're = They are (eg, They're not wearing any clothes!)
                  Their = Possessive (eg, Check out their boobies!)
                  There = locality (eg There is a naked chick in the water)
                  Your = Possessive (eg I can see your boobies through that wet t-shirt)
                  You're = You are (eg You're getting dressed? Damn...)

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Coming out of my shell

                    That's the point though right? Coming out of the shell by doing something you don't particularly enjoy or is outside your comfort zone.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Coming out of my shell

                      I guess, and that's an indication that I need help changing my attitude.
                      I'll look up that book entrepreneur recommended and see if that helps me 'flourish'
                      Last edited by Oversharedude; February 13th, 2014, 10:25 PM.
                      PLEASE use PARAGRAPHS when you post, we’re more likely to read your post.
                      For more information on paragraphs please press your enter key whilst typing a post.

                      They're = They are (eg, They're not wearing any clothes!)
                      Their = Possessive (eg, Check out their boobies!)
                      There = locality (eg There is a naked chick in the water)
                      Your = Possessive (eg I can see your boobies through that wet t-shirt)
                      You're = You are (eg You're getting dressed? Damn...)

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Coming out of my shell

                        I'm in IT, too (developer). I used to be reserved and shy. Would sit in my cube, didn't want to talk to anyone. Would chit chat a little bit with coworkers but for the most part, I hated all of them. I really did.

                        2 jobs ago, my manager said "I don't want you to be the social butterfly of the company, but I need to socialize with your teammates"

                        Like you, I don't like crowds or company meetings.

                        Working on my self confidence, not caring what others think of me, using my sense of humor helped me a lot.

                        You have a good sense of humor (from your posts), you have empathy (as Lucid mentions), you have knowledgeable at your job (good for your self confidence). These are all pluses that you should use to your benefit.

                        I started having one on one lunches with some coworkers, got to know one or two closely. I bake a lot and take to work. This strikes conversations with coworkers. No, you don't need to be Mrs. Fields but take some donuts in sometimes, maybe. Go to lunch. Experiment with crowds.

                        I still don't like crowds. Made myself go to our monthly meeting yesterday. I stood next to a couple of coworkers, chit chatted a bit, ate pizza and couldn't wait to get out of there

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                        • #13
                          Re: Coming out of my shell

                          Skipped over all the replies due to eye drops, so this might be repetitive:

                          Just feel great. If you feel like crap, you'll be a jerk to everyone whether you intend to or not. If you feel indifferent, you'll project that into all of your conversations. If you feel amazing, then other people will feel great when talking to you.

                          Little mechanical things like, follow up with people after you fix something, to make sure it's working to their liking, etc.

                          If you just want a laundry list of tips that you cn focus on applying one at a time, and sticking to the ones that really help, read some books by Leil Lowndes. Her books all seem to be of the "80 tips for being less shy" style.Maybe just adjusting a few small things will get you there.
                          %0|%0

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