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Interracial Relationships: Normal or not?

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  • Interracial Relationships: Normal or not?

    Mkay, as obvious as the subject matter should be by the title, I'm going to just stress what I'm talking about. Have you ever given thought to the existence of interracial couples? And if so how do you feel about them? Be honest, I'm not gonna cut off any part of your body haha.

    Just to be forward, I myself (A young African-American Male) am in an interracial relationship with a nice Greek/Hispanic woman. And even though when we were just flirting around school and dated around it was flawless, when i met her family.. and when they met me... it was painfully obvious that i was different. Make no mistakes, her family hasn't said anything about me or hasn't made me in a direct way feel inferior. In fact since she's mixed herself (Greek and Hispanic) Her parents actually have had to go through a lot to make their relationship work and actually shared stories with me. About family members that didn't talk to them anymore and other experiences. But my thing is that I'm blessed that her family is completely receptive and seems to care about our relationship, her dad even going as far as to jokingly take me to a jewelry store when we hung out once to get to know each other and give me suggestions on what to get her. But even though her family is completely accepting doesn't mean we haven't gotten our occasional stares. They aren't really glares from what I've notice, usually just when we are on the train together and there will always be at least 4 people who can't seem to stop looking at us or whispering to someone standing next to them.

    I've heard it all at this point, from friends of mine. Some people don't approve of mixing races because they are afraid of the 'extinction' of their race. And I can't say much about my Girlfriend because her family seems to thrive off diversity and wants her and me to stay together, but I've heard some of my uncles give me very weird spills on mixing races. Like If i do, I'm giving up on some invisible war and being 'assimilated' into America. It's weird to me that people still think this way, perhaps I'm just weird for not really seeing it their way? A friend of mine said it best when he stated: Interracials can only be established and maintained if you either are fully aware of your differences and the pressure society will put on you and embrace what you two bring to the table and ignore society. Or if you just don't see race at all, and everyone that gives you looks is just hatin' on your P.D.A.

    Feel free to drop a response It's just an all-round interesting topic for me and I'd like to chat about it ^^ !

  • #2
    Re: Interracial Relationships: Normal or not?

    Mr. Nuts is mixed-race. We get comments all the time. We find it entertaining, honestly.

    Two stories:
    1. We were in NYC one day, sneaking into the Museum of Natural History, and afterward, we stopped at a bodega so I could get a drink. Guy behind the counter sees Mr. Nuts, sees me, and says "Do you like Turkish men?" I look at him, look at Mr. Nuts, look again, and say, "uh.... sure?" He's waggling his eyebrows at me... I just paid and ducked out.
    2. Coming back from San Diego about 12 years ago, we had a layover. In Minneapolis. The natives were so white, they were looking at ME funny for BEING WITH him.

    Mr. Nuts is half Italian, half British... by way of Jamaica. His grandfather is black, but he can also trace roots on the same side of the family to one of the signers of the Declaration of Independence. He can pass for many races, but he is very clearly "different".

    You'll get looks. A lot. If you care more about what other people think about the two of you than about what you think about each other, then it'll destroy your relationship... but then, that's true of any issue in a relationship, isn't it? So...who cares?
    The worthwhile problems are the ones you can really solve or help solve, the ones you can really contribute something to. ...
    No problem is too small or too trivial if we can really do something about it.
    -- Richard Feynman (Nobel laureate (physics), 1918-1988)

    Use your spoons wisely.

    Give it time. Always, give it time.

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    • #3
      Re: Interracial Relationships: Normal or not?

      You wanna get stares, try hanging out with a single white mother and her kids in public! Haha!

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      • #4
        Re: Interracial Relationships: Normal or not?

        Being "different" will get you looks and comments no matter what the "difference" is. There is nothing you can do about it except prepare yourself with a responses and internal dialogue that protect you and your attitude. You can also minimize the looks and comments by hanging in places where it is accepted and common.

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        • #5
          Re: Interracial Relationships: Normal or not?

          Unfortunately, the world is a fucked up place and it'll probably be a few more centuries before interracial relationships and same sex relationships are completely accepted.

          Don't let the man get you down
          PLEASE use PARAGRAPHS when you post, we’re more likely to read your post.
          For more information on paragraphs please press your enter key whilst typing a post.

          They're = They are (eg, They're not wearing any clothes!)
          Their = Possessive (eg, Check out their boobies!)
          There = locality (eg There is a naked chick in the water)
          Your = Possessive (eg I can see your boobies through that wet t-shirt)
          You're = You are (eg You're getting dressed? Damn...)

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          • #6
            Re: Interracial Relationships: Normal or not?

            Wow its been a while since I've posted, sorry was in the process of moving, but i get your point interracial relationships are pretty ... different. But what bothers me more than the people that out right seem weirded out by it are the people that instantly take interest in it because it's like a rare creature of some sort. I mean, yeah they mean no harm but it's odd when people at first don't care about my relationship all the way til they hear it's interracial lmao. And the standard: "if you two have kids, i bet they will be gorgeous" Again none of these comments seem out right... offensive but I don't really get the fascination.

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            • #7
              Re: Interracial Relationships: Normal or not?

              Originally posted by Pollon View Post
              Being "different" will get you looks and comments no matter what the "difference" is. There is nothing you can do about it except prepare yourself with a responses and internal dialogue that protect you and your attitude. You can also minimize the looks and comments by hanging in places where it is accepted and common.
              ^^^

              I've been criticized for being different all my life and I'm a (I think...) fairly normal white girl. If you're in a situation where something about you stands out, feeble minded individuals will make it a point to bitch. I mean, I was picked on once because I liked to sit in the dark with my laptop. The screen was so bright, I didn't see how it made a single damn difference to have the light off when half the room was illuminated anyways. If something as simple as a preference for dark atmospheres as opposed to bright ones can provoke scorn...

              I just think wow, how miserable your life must be if that kind of thing bothers you. I mean, everything must irritate the shit out of you, you're probably in need of meds...
              "Why are you always smiling?"
              "Because it's all so fucking hysterical."


              Hier kommt die Sonne

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              • #8
                Re: Interracial Relationships: Normal or not?

                Growing up in So Cal I didn't know about racism or the American slave trade until it was taught to us in elementary school. It was a shock, because my neighbor's son up the street (Who is half black half Cuban) was my best friend. Our parents were friends and never treated us differently. I moved to Georgia, and while it has changed a lot there is still a lot of racial tension. I dated a man who was half Jamaican/German and we got some looks, but I never really noticed them. I also dated a man who was from Iran, and I got a LOT of comments about it, especially from coworkers. I had one coworker who would always refer to him as "the terrorist". If I knew then what I know now her butt would have been reported a long time ago, but all I ever did was tell her that her comments were not appreciated.

                Also, I never really thought of it until now, but I'm a product of an interracial relationship: Mother is Western European (Irish/French/Scottish) and birth father was a Sioux Indian. I might be so white I glow in the dark, but my two sisters are very dark.

                All I have to say is haters gonna hate.
                "I believe in Christ as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else."
                -C.S. Lewis

                "Love is not an affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained."
                -C.S. Lewis

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                • #9
                  Re: Interracial Relationships: Normal or not?

                  I'm honestly very surprised that there is still so much intolerance when it comes to interracial relationships. Maybe it's because I'm young and naive, or maybe it's because I'm from a more accepting generation. I'm not sure. But anyway, I personally don't think that there is anything wrong with interracial relationships.

                  The only problem that I think may exist with it is cultural differences. But that usually happens when one party is of a completely different culture. There may be some difficulties when someone who is the average American falls in love with someone who was born and raised in another part of the world. But I believe those things can be overcome with a lot of communication and patience. As for when both parties identify with the same culture (such as two Americans) and one happens to be African American while the other is Caucasian, then I don't see why there would be any difficulties with it. Unless there are cultural differences, then I think the relationship will work the same as any other relationship.

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                  • #10
                    Re: Interracial Relationships: Normal or not?

                    I think it's because of ignorance and obstinacy. I admit, it was a bit jarring at first (I had a classmate who was half Dutch, half Filipino) but when you get used to it, I'm not apprehensive anymore. Deep down we are all humans and that's what counts. If you care about what others are thinking you'll never make it.

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