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Paying bills! Advice please!

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  • Paying bills! Advice please!

    Hi everyone!
    I live with a partner and my 2 kids from previous marriage. We have been living together 2.5 years. I’ve been renting the house for a first year, after I bought the house (took the mortgage). My partner is paying 200 a month towards the bills and I’m paying nearly 1000 a month, excluding food and petrol. I tried to talk to him to pay equally, but he was saying first , when we were renting the house that he doesn’t feel a need to pay more, as even if he wouldn’t live with us I would still need to pay for the house as I have kids and if I need help with bills payment I should talk to my ex husband and ask him to pay more towards children.
    And now when I have a mortgage he says, he won’t pay more towards the bills, as the mortgage is not on his name and all the money that I’m paying now, I will have back one day when will sell the house, but he won’t have nothing.
    Please tell me lovely people out there if he is completely living with us and using the house, electricity, water etc. If he lives with us, that means he is part of this family and should take the responsibility and pay equally for bills or am I wrong?
    Thank you in advance

  • #2
    This is the problem with two people living together without benefit of marriage. It is YOUR house, and he's right when he says that when you sell it, you keep the profit and he gets nothing.

    You have to figure out what a fair figure is for him. If you were renting out a spare room, what would you charge?

    Figure out your monthly expenses, excluding the mortgage payment. What do you spend per month on food, cable tv, internet, and utlities? And then charge him 1/4 of that. Then figure out what a comparable apartment would rent for and charge him 1/4 of that as well.

    If he balks at that, kick his ass out.
    "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

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    • #3
      Unicorn13 I agree with Sarah!
      "If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do well in life doesn't matter very much."

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      • #4
        Yes, it's all about the math.

        He's right. The house is in your name and everything you pay will be returned to you when you sell it.
        He should be paying a small "rent" fee, but certainly not 50%. And since there are 4 people in the house, 1/4 of the utilities should be enough. That's only fair.

        If he's unwilling to do that, then he shouldn't be living there anymore.
        You can't control the waves, but you can learn to surf

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        • #5
          The 200 figure isn't far off from what's fair, imho. If he is strapped for cash at the moment I'd be fine with 200 but if he isn't and is squandering his $ gambling or on bad habits, then it's an issue about priorities and lifestyle differences. If he can offer you another 100 it might help your relationship. I'd suggest instead of asking for more money, try and recognize where your differences are and the reason for the short payments. I'm also curious what is his annual or monthly income? If he's making significantly less or has debts, you both should be adult enough to be fair to each other and work out what's reasonable without it causing undue stress on the other (or each other).

          Regarding your ex-husband, is this often a bone of contention? Are the payments fair on his end or do they need be court-ordered or require an update?

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