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  • Can't stop being hard on myself

    So, I've been losing a bunch of weight lately, and on the whole I've been doing well, but lately I've found myself being too hard on myself
    Telling myself things like "You've only lost that much?" when in reality, it's still 0.5kg (1lb) a week.

    I'm on track to reach my goal weight WELL before my target date (wanted to do it by Dec 1, should be there by Sep 1)

    How can I change my mindset to not be so hard on myself?
    I'm finding it hard to focus on the positives in a lot of things lately, so general mindset improvement suggestions also welcome.
    PLEASE use PARAGRAPHS when you post, were more likely to read your post.
    For more information on paragraphs please press your enter key whilst typing a post.

    They're = They are (eg, They're not wearing any clothes!)
    Their = Possessive (eg, Check out their boobies!)
    There = locality (eg There is a naked chick in the water)
    Your = Possessive (eg I can see your boobies through that wet t-shirt)
    You're = You are (eg You're getting dressed? Damn...)

  • #2
    A pound a week is a significant amount of weight to lose. In fact, losing more than that might not be healthy. I'd say you're doing it in a very safe manner. Just focus on safety over speed.

    Also, I read that people who lose weight more slowly are more likely to keep it off in the long run.
    "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

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    • #3
      I can totally relate to this struggle, and I think it's something we all kind of struggle with when we start working out or trying to lose weight. When you first start a routine or diet plan or whatever, you are really excited about your progress and any little change in your body is the greatest thing ever. As you keep working and see less significant changes it can be discouraging because I think we don't see as many drastic changes in our body as we did before. You're still losing a pound a week, but you may not feel like you are because it might be harder to see the loss. Just remember you are doing totally awesome, you're still losing it and looking great!

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      • #4
        Oversharedude Don't be so hard on yourself by thinking positive about your end goal. Slow and steady wins the race! You don't want to lose weight too fast otherwise, you'll feel dizzy and lightheaded not to mention it's easier to regain weight if you starve yourself. Don't be so hard on yourself as your remind yourself that losing weight helps increase your longevity, lowers your risk for hypertension, stroke, heart disease and heart attack. You're losing weight gradually so you'll look and feel great. Keep up the great work!
        "If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do well in life doesn't matter very much."

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        • #5
          Why do people attempt to lose weight?
          I assume in the end, you're doing it to be happier and healthier.
          You may be getting healthier, but by being so hard on yourself, you're not making yourself any happier.

          Could it be that you're so focussed on the end goal (that number on the scale), that you're missing out on the journey?
          You're going through a process that's changing your life. You're building strength and discipline and changing your relationship with food and exercise. Be aware of this process, because keeping this in mind is what's going to keep you from relapsing and putting the weight back on.
          You're doing great! Be proud!

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by SarahLancaster View Post
            A pound a week is a significant amount of weight to lose. In fact, losing more than that might not be healthy. I'd say you're doing it in a very safe manner. Just focus on safety over speed.

            Also, I read that people who lose weight more slowly are more likely to keep it off in the long run.
            Yes. 1lb a week is a good amount. Once you start to go much more than this, your chances of putting it all back on at the end increase.

            Keep your head up OSD. Each time you find yourself lingering on the negatives, slap yourself out of it!
            Just because someone's by your side, it doesn't mean they're on your side.

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            • #7
              Thanks all for the support.

              My reasons (this time) are to be at my goal weight for my suit fitting later this year for my wedding in May (and consequently, keeping at my goal weight). Secondly, keeping my weight down because of family medical history is weight related for me.

              Ayla, the journey is one thing, but it's a road I've travelled before, and stayed steady until my ex-fiancee broke up with me 3 years ago, then it all crept back on.

              I'm not starving myself, but I am calorie counting. I should be eating 2000 calories a day on the advance program i'm following, but I'm still sticking around the 1800 or so I was with the beginner version.

              I got this, I know I do, but it's just hard sometimes.

              Heres my graph so far (in kg, sorry you'll have to convert it yourself).

              I started at 91.7kg on 1st Feb 2018 and as of this morning, I was 78.2kg, so 13.5kg lost.


              Someone at work today said to me "Shit man, have you lost weight?" and I said "yep, 13.5kg" and he said "looking good!" and it was a great boost, definitely something I needed to hear today.
              PLEASE use PARAGRAPHS when you post, were more likely to read your post.
              For more information on paragraphs please press your enter key whilst typing a post.

              They're = They are (eg, They're not wearing any clothes!)
              Their = Possessive (eg, Check out their boobies!)
              There = locality (eg There is a naked chick in the water)
              Your = Possessive (eg I can see your boobies through that wet t-shirt)
              You're = You are (eg You're getting dressed? Damn...)

              Comment


              • #8
                Ah!!!! Instead of calculating how much weight lost per week or month, try calculating it as a percentage !
                I think you will find it much more motivating and realistic!
                Well done! You are doing awesomely well!!!

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                • #9
                  I'm not sure what type of diet you are on. The only one lifestyle or diet I've been on that worked was keto. There is no calorie-counting and every day is fun. It's a very high fat diet (fat-burning) and it's also how my husband went from over 300 lbs to 160 lbs over just over a year about 7 years ago and has remained in ketosis since. I have never really been overweight before but it has leaned me out considerably also. We go to the gym about 2-3 times per week. If you're not finding that this diet is working for you, I'd suggest going into ketosis and staying on it. It may be extreme for some people who can't cut out carbs and sugar but it works for us. I wouldn't ever live any other way and I'll never go back to my pre-keto state. That's a promise I've made to myself. There are plenty of keto meals available nowadays online also.

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                  • #10
                    I love the keto recipes on facebook.
                    "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Let me be the first to say "Thank You" , OSD, for revealing that it's not just women that beat themselves up over this !

                      About a year and a half ago, I became very ill with a virus that the doctors could only guess was some sort of a dermis infection. It wreaked havoc on my body.
                      My hands, feet and face peeled, and about a month after I started to regain my strength again, I started to lose my hair. I went to a naturopath about that and some other physical changes I had noticed, and was put on a very strict regimen of high potency supplements, as we learned that the chemistry of my connective tissue was also affected.

                      Prior to becoming ill, I was also a 30 year smoker, but having gone more than 3 weeks without a cigarette, I considered the illness a blessing in disguise as it was the means to quit the habit I wish I had never started. (18 months going strong now ! )

                      The reason I shared all of that, was to be able to get to this part.

                      A combination of everything, (including blame) and I had put on well over 25 pounds. I am a 5'6" chick. I kept trying to tell myself that it was the casualty of war that my body had endured, and that I needed to learn to love myself for who I was now, because "Hey, at least I'm not smoking anymore, and I am still recuping from that damn viral infection"

                      It didn't matter what I said to myself, how large the clothes were that I bought to cover up my protruding muffin top, massive boobs, and oddly, the football player size arms I had acquired ! I simply could not love, respect or accept my new body for what it was. Every time I looked in the mirror, all I saw was 'fat' and neglect.


                      Your weight gain is the result of a traumatic occurrence in your life and instead of associating the weight gain with the negativity that comes with it, try to see the image in the mirror as a 'survivor' (so to speak) and not 'the result' .

                      You can lose as much weight as you want but until you fix the way you look at yourself mentally, you're never going to be happy.

                      I think it's super toxic and counter productive to look at where you were instead of where you're headed. You're making changes now and just be proud of little things......like losing a pound per week !

                      I know you can sometimes feel and see your progress, but just don't look back when you feel yourself going to that place. Bring yourself to the present and remind yourself that you're progressing and growing.
                      You're closer to your goal today, than you were yesterday.

                      Hugs,
                      Pistol
                      The definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I didn't know fb had keto meals! I'm usually checking out the keto forums for tried and tested ones.
                        Those are wise words, Pistol. In the end it's that relationship you have with yourself and your personal happiness that matters. I experienced all the symptoms of hyperglycemia prior to this lifestyle change and my husband was seriously overweight, taking medications for heartburn and experiencing curvatures of the spine and deformity in his feet because of his weight prior to keto. He was also a smoker for decades but quit when he went on keto and we try our best now to lead as healthy a lifestyle as possible. It's why I'm so passionate about staying in ketosis. I think it's changed me (my personality, my outlook etc) and even the way I respond in our relationship. On an intimacy level also, things improved significantly whereas things just weren't working for us before. Find what works for you, be kind to yourself and realistic and I think everything will fall into place.

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                        • #13
                          Type in Keto Recipes in the Facebook search. It's a group thing that you join. Fabulous recipes. I've made several of them.
                          "What lips my lips have kissed and where and why I have forgotten." ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

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                          • #14
                            Thank you for sharing your journey Pistol, and well done for being 18 months clean from smoking, thats not an easy task!

                            You're right, it's about the small victories and the fact that each day gets me closer to my goal, and sooner or later I'll have a set back, but it's not the end of the world.

                            And Rose, I'm not on a "diet" as such, like Keto or Atkins, I'm following this program: https://www.12wbt.com
                            PLEASE use PARAGRAPHS when you post, were more likely to read your post.
                            For more information on paragraphs please press your enter key whilst typing a post.

                            They're = They are (eg, They're not wearing any clothes!)
                            Their = Possessive (eg, Check out their boobies!)
                            There = locality (eg There is a naked chick in the water)
                            Your = Possessive (eg I can see your boobies through that wet t-shirt)
                            You're = You are (eg You're getting dressed? Damn...)

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I think it's awesome that you and your husband can follow the keto lifestyle, Rose. It's the biggest bang for your buck, in that you shed weight very quickly. I've followed the Atkins probably 3 or 4 times in my life, when I was anxious and impatient to get the weight off fast, but it's not a lifestyle I could ever maintain. (I'm Irish, and we love our potatoes ) Sadly, you put the weight back on as quickly as you lost it when you introduce carbs back into your diet. I know it's all about moderation though.
                              There use to be a lot of arguments about how healthy the high fat/low carb diet was for you, but whatever works for anyone is really all that matters, as long as your overall health isn't affected (cholesterol, proteins, iron etc)

                              My son, who became a gamer at around age 10, put on a tremendous amount of weight throughout his early teenage years, and in grade 12, decided that he'd had enough of hiding behind XXL size shirts and 42" waisted pants.
                              No help from doctors or parents, he did it all on his own. He ate absolutely everything he loved to eat (including pizza, hamburgs, chips, etc) BUT instead of having 6 slices of pizza, he had 2. Instead of having 2 burgers, he had one, that kind of thing.
                              He drank copious amounts of water, and absolutely swears by green tea. In 12 months, he lost 100 pounds. (and not a day of exercise)
                              He said the key to it all, was that he never felt deprived of anything because he allowed himself both the time to lose the weight and the luxury of still eating the foods he loved, just a whole lot less of them !
                              To this day, I think he's down a total of 130 pounds now, and could school most people on the importance of proper nutrition (lol)


                              What I neglected to mention in my previous post, is that my husband and I kicked into a calorie reduced lifestyle back in February. He was just like your husband, Rose, overweight and his body was screaming at him. He's had a sleep apnea machine for years, been a junk food addict forever and the most exercise he got was walking to and from his car in the driveway each day.

                              He limits his calories to 2100 per day and mine are limited to 1200.
                              I food prep every Sunday morning for the coming work week, cutting red peppers and celery for lunches, and boiling eggs for weekday breakfasts. I also pre-cook 5 days worth of low calorie meals, and freeze them. We decide each night what we'd like for dinner the next day and take it out of the freezer. I got some fabulous recipes from Gethealthyu.com (27 Delicious Low Calorie Meals That Fill You Up) - you should look them up, OSD, they really are delicious and have become staples in our home now.

                              Since February, my man has shed 40 pounds (no exercise, just healthy, low calorie/smaller portion eating AND NO CANDY) and has almost reached a point where he doesn't need to use his apnea machine. He still has a gut on him, and a long way to go, but he's very happy and doesn't see stars when he ties his shoes anymore

                              I didn't weigh myself when I started, but I DID measure. In total, I have lost more than 17 inches all over my body. My regimen is 20 minutes of cardio and 20 minutes of strengthening and core exercises 4 days per week.
                              Once Friday and Saturday hits, we drink beer, we drink wine, but 'food calorie' intake stays the same. We haven't yet introduced a 'cheat day', because neither one of us feels like we've given anything up ! Even though I haven't had a potato chip or a piece of pizza in 4 months, I don't feel deprived of them !

                              At my age, I feel like I've been on every 'diet' there is, yet the absolute BEST for me, has simply been reducing the calorie intake, cutting out crap and keeping some element of physical activity in my daily routine. It might take longer to reach your goal, but it's a lifestyle you can maintain, easily.

                              I really hope our stories can keep you encouraged and optimistic about YOUR end result, OSD.

                              I'll bet you're gonna rock that suit
                              The definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result.

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