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  • I need help..

    Hello everyone.

    I'm 20 years old and a male.

    I'll get straight to the point. I get aroused when I look at porn (lesbian, girls, straight etc.), but now when I'm with girls, I don't. I don't know what has happened to me. I used to masturbate 3 times a day, didn't matter where I was or who I was with. Now I don't do it, because I don't get aroused anymore. I have only been with 1 girl, and I couldn't get aroused with her. Not because she wasn't attractive, trust me she was, but I just couldn't. When ever we had sex, I couldn't stop thinking about porn or masturbate whenever it was over, but I could masturbate while thinking of her, and now it tears me apart. I want to be "normal" again..

    It is so embarssing to talk about this, but I really need to get help. If somebody want to make fun of this, go ahead, I can take it, but it's still not nice, you know. I want to have a normal relationship again, without the thought of masturbation or porn. I easily get aroused when I look at porn and with my right hand.

    Anybody who can understand me? Anybody who knows what I'm going through? I just want help...

  • #2
    Sounds like a porn addiction.

    Go to the doctor and tell him about this. He can refer you to the right people that will help you to rehab from the habit and get yourself back on the right track. Its nothing to be embarrassed about. With such easy access to porn now, addiction to it is becoming an epidemic it seems.

    Have you put your question into a search engine to see if there is any online help for what you're going through?
    "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!

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    • #3
      I'm a student, so money is going to be a problem if it is a private therapist, as asual they are referring one to. I'm very glad for your reply, and I'm to call the doctor in morning. As there maybe anything else I can do? I've tried to research about addiction, and not much help can I find.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Michael2345 View Post
        I'm a student, so money is going to be a problem if it is a private therapist, as asual they are referring one to. I'm very glad for your reply, and I'm to call the doctor in morning. As there maybe anything else I can do? I've tried to research about addiction, and not much help can I find.
        If you are in college or university then your tuition should cover your therapy. Go to your psychology department and ask for an appointment but see what your doctor has to say as well.

        Here is one link that might help:
        http://www.covenanteyes.com/2012/04/...sential-steps/

        Try googling "How to overcome a porn addiction" and see if any that comes up are a help to you.
        "First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!

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        • #5
          I agree that this sounds like porn addiction.

          Great advice from Phases re talking to your college/university. There are usually things in place to provide student support on issues such as this. Speaking to them would be a good start.
          Just because someone's by your side, it doesn't mean they're on your side.

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          • #6
            I actually talked to the psychology department today and asked to talk to the therapist, but as it turned out, the "therapists" are master-student, who needs inspiration to help them with their projects and so. For that reason, the secretary said they couldn't really help. That's really weird.

            I went to NoFap and found something called 'The Hard Mode Challenge' and I'm gonna do that for some months and see how that's going to work out.

            Thank you for quick replies - it really helps!

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Michael2345 View Post
              I actually talked to the psychology department today and asked to talk to the therapist, but as it turned out, the "therapists" are master-student, who needs inspiration to help them with their projects and so. For that reason, the secretary said they couldn't really help. That's really weird.
              If you went to the psychology department, as in the area of your college that teaches psychology, then this isn't the right place. You need to talk to the actual student support people.

              Perhaps you have a tutor you can ask who can point you in the right direction?
              Just because someone's by your side, it doesn't mean they're on your side.

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              • #8
                I asked my tutor first, but that was the responed I got

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                • #9
                  This is a common thing when you're relying too much on porn. You get set in your ways and when the real girl doesn't follow the script -- and don't hold your breath, because she's not going to follow your porn script -- then you lose it. You have to stop porn entirely since you now know it does this to you. Again, this is a common phenomenon. It's part of porn addiction. You've been doing it so long you can't adjust to the spontaneity of a real woman. Stop porn altogether and you may have to face whatever anxiety you have about real women as well and overcome that.
                  Not at all flirtatious. Why does it say that??

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Preraph View Post
                    This is a common thing when you're relying too much on porn. You get set in your ways and when the real girl doesn't follow the script -- and don't hold your breath, because she's not going to follow your porn script -- then you lose it. You have to stop porn entirely since you now know it does this to you. Again, this is a common phenomenon. It's part of porn addiction. You've been doing it so long you can't adjust to the spontaneity of a real woman. Stop porn altogether and you may have to face whatever anxiety you have about real women as well and overcome that.
                    ^ this dude. Just relax, its not the end of the world, these things happen, and there is nothing wrong with you. The worst thing you can do is become extremely anxious about it, and turn it into something bigger and suffer performance anxiety. This fix is verrrryyyyyy simple though. Seriously, stop jerking it dude. If you're getting regular sex, and you're attracted to the girl, then honestly not much of a reason to jerk it to begin with.....unless she's absolutely terrible in bed, which is another problem. Let me ask you this, how often do you have sex? The reason i ask this, is for example, if I know i'm not going to see my gf to have sex until Thurs, and its Monday for example....i'll rub one out if i need to. However, i leave Tues-wed and most of Thursday to let the "desire" build back up again. From the amount you're using it though, you could use a longer break, as it appears you've become mentally/sexually desensitized at this point. Seriously....don't jerk for a week.....then go and slam your girl! Unless you have a case of ED, which at 20 i'm sure you don't, or low testosterone (also unlikely), then you will notice a HUGGEE difference!

                    TLDR: you're fine, stop jerking it completely, or limit it greatly

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                    • #11
                      I am going to do the NoFap challenge now. I kinda fucked up a couple times, and I see now that it is a porn/masturbation addiction. I also have a doctor appointment on Wednesday, so I will talk to him there. I will fill you in a couple of weeks to tell you about the progess so far. Thank you all for replies, it really helps me to figure out stuff.

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