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Unread January 16th, 2012, 03:44 PM   #1
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Default New boyfriend, 1st time having sex with him

I am in a long distance relationship and it's not often that we get to spend time together but we are working on that. I am seeing him on the 21st... We will spending the night together, which will be the first time that its all night and not just all day...

We talk about sex openly all the time, I am a very sexual person and I am excited to take this to that level... the problem is he has told me numerous times that he likes when his girl initiates sex... I'm shy, and have always had the guy start it first...

I want to step out of my comfort zone for once... do something different and show him how much i want him...

Any suggestions or ideas of how to get it started... Once I get over that initial first time I'm fine and won't have a problem but its all so new with him that i'm nervous...
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Unread January 16th, 2012, 03:58 PM   #2
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Default Re: New boyfriend, 1st time having sex with him

Lingerie.
Invite him into the shower.
Be full on and grab him (GENTLY!) by the balls.
Get on top of him and start pashing him.

Don't be nervous, you've talked about it openly and you both want it. Carpe Dohim.
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Unread January 16th, 2012, 04:03 PM   #3
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Default Re: New boyfriend, 1st time having sex with him

You make that sound simple.. lol

I will try my best, Thanks
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Unread January 16th, 2012, 05:57 PM   #4
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Default Re: New boyfriend, 1st time having sex with him

It's hard overcoming that boundary, but if your intentions are clear, he should follow suit.


However, I should mention I was crowned forums "Most Sexually Frustrated" for 2011, so maybe see if you can get some other advice too
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Unread January 16th, 2012, 06:03 PM   #5
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Default Re: New boyfriend, 1st time having sex with him

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Originally Posted by Laurie81 View Post
Any suggestions or ideas of how to get it started...
Whisper into his ear, "I want you now."



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Unread January 16th, 2012, 06:49 PM   #6
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Default Re: New boyfriend, 1st time having sex with him

[quote=OvershareDude
However, I should mention I was crowned forums "Most Sexually Frustrated" for 2011, so maybe see if you can get some other advice too [/QUOTE]


haha Poor thing :-P
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Unread January 16th, 2012, 06:50 PM   #7
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Default Re: New boyfriend, 1st time having sex with him

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Whisper into his ear, "I want you now."



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I will def try that
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Unread January 16th, 2012, 06:59 PM   #8
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Default Re: New boyfriend, 1st time having sex with him




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Unread January 16th, 2012, 07:04 PM   #9
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Default Re: New boyfriend, 1st time having sex with him

Mike's idea is great. Another good way to start if you're shy is to use a kiss. Initiate a kiss, come closer to him. If you are too shy to start the kiss, use one where he kisses you and turn it more passionate. Use your tongue, put your fingers through his hair, press your body and chest against his. If you find him responding in kind, you can then let your hands... explore. It'll go from there and when pressed together, you'll definitely know if he's into it or not.
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Unread January 16th, 2012, 07:54 PM   #10
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Default Re: New boyfriend, 1st time having sex with him

@yellow rose... Good idea... I'm just gonna go for it
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Unread January 17th, 2012, 09:52 AM   #11
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Default Re: New boyfriend, 1st time having sex with him

I don't know how great the distance is; but if you're the type of girl who associates sex with emotion, DON'T sleep with him, and of course don't initiated,nor encourage phone sex.

Its a long distance relationship..........high failure rate 99.5%
Its a new relationship.........you will not know them as much as you think you do, and you won't be able to hear things over the grapevine

Of course if its just sex for you, then go ahead.

DO NOT have sex, just to keep him, just to please him, just to show him how mature you are(your really not).......etc

He will have gone from phone sex to physical sex, and you will have gone from a challenge to a score on his scorecard............maybe not initially......but eventually......

Once physical sex is involved, you can't go back to phone sex, and if you're not around, who do you think he will do it with........men have less restraint.... period.

sorry to burst the bubble of excitement & anticipation.......

the post-sex consequences lasts alot longer, than the act itself.......
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Unread January 17th, 2012, 03:13 PM   #12
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Default Re: New boyfriend, 1st time having sex with him

You can't say only men have less restraint.

HUMANS of both gender have the ability to fuck around just as much as the other. You can't just pin it on men because you may have been burnt in the past. There are plenty of girls who cheat on their men and vice versa. Being a man means shit all.

I agree with your other stuff, it may put a strain on the long distance
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Unread January 18th, 2012, 05:08 AM   #13
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Default Re: New boyfriend, 1st time having sex with him

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You can't just pin it on men because you may have been burnt in the past.
Where did that come from....when did i say i was burnt?

Based on your assumption, just because i warn someone not to play with fire, i must have 2nd degree burns? So because i wouldn't drink&drive, you're saying i must have D.U.I's. etc etc shall i list more??

Just cos i warn against something, doesn't mean, i've been burnt, it means i AVOIDED it for a reason..........when you see it around you, that in itself is fairly convincing.

Quote:
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You can't say only men have less restraint.
If men get a bad wrap, thats cos their 'fellow men' have earnt it for them.

Again, yes i can say. Just switch on the tv or the pc, turn on the radio, open a newspaper etc plenty of examples of men being caught, zzzzzz, reported by other men no less.....

Theres' even a medical publication (what a waste of public money) that men think about sex every 6 secs......

Look at your own post, you zeroed in on the sex giving part

The most famous&powerful man couldn't even restrain himself in his own oval office, in his own workplace no less - disappointed a load of people.

All the above in proportion to women, so yes i can say that.

See how you like it turned, in your own words - just because you didn't get any in 2011, don't blame me for advising someone, to think twice about their situation.In your mind, some "poor" bloke may or may not be getting any. And that peeves you.

As if i set out to deny men sex.

Irresponsible sex is what i'm against, not men. Irresponsible sex happens to affect society.

If you have resposible sex, bang away.

That "poor" bloke may have ulterior motives for all we know, he could be preping her with phone sex, and hope she takes the bait.....( i could be wrong, i hope i'm wrong, but let her make an informed decision).

And for the record, hurters are not gender-specific.

Last edited by real-deal; January 18th, 2012 at 06:10 AM..
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Unread January 19th, 2012, 08:12 PM   #14
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Default Re: New boyfriend, 1st time having sex with him

Ok real-deal it's not that new, we have been talking/seeing other for 7 months... He lives about 3 hours from me, i go to him he comes to me... and we have taken it VERY slow, which is why we haven't had sex yet... But we are ready to take a new step in the relationship.

I'm not having sex just to keep him...

So basically we should never have the sexual part just because there is a high failure rate? and that means I shouldn't trust him at all??

What you said kind of sounds bitter when it comes to men... Yes it's hard and yes it's even harder not knowing what he's doing... but if you can't trust someone then you shouldn't even speak let alone have any type of relationship...

If him and I don't work out, oh well... we tried our best and that's all anyone can do in any type of relationship... you never know unless you try, and deal with it and move on if its just not meant to be...
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Unread January 19th, 2012, 08:25 PM   #15
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Default Re: New boyfriend, 1st time having sex with him

Failure is always a possibility in any relationship and both genders cheat. There are studies that apparently show that women cheat more than men. Whether they are true or not, the idea is out there nonetheless. I've also seen LDRs that fail and those that make it, what happens is dependent largely upon the participants. Enjoy the sex, enjoy the relationship, it may or may not last but you know this as do all well-adjusted adults. =)
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Unread January 19th, 2012, 08:40 PM   #16
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Default Re: New boyfriend, 1st time having sex with him

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Failure is always a possibility in any relationship and both genders cheat. There are studies that apparently show that women cheat more than men. Whether they are true or not, the idea is out there nonetheless. I've also seen LDRs that fail and those that make it, what happens is dependent largely upon the participants. Enjoy the sex, enjoy the relationship, it may or may not last but you know this as do all well-adjusted adults. =)
You are exactly right... sometimes you just have to take a chance and go for it... why listen to statistics and what may or may not happen, thats living safe... I want to enjoy new things and see where it goes..
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Unread January 20th, 2012, 04:50 AM   #17
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Default Re: New boyfriend, 1st time having sex with him

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Ok real-deal it's not that new, we have been talking/seeing other for 7 months... He lives about 3 hours from me, i go to him he comes to me... and we have taken it VERY slow, which is why we haven't had sex yet... But we are ready to take a new step in the relationship.

I'm not having sex just to keep him...

So basically we should never have the sexual part just because there is a high failure rate? and that means I shouldn't trust him at all??

What you said kind of sounds bitter when it comes to men... Yes it's hard and yes it's even harder not knowing what he's doing... but if you can't trust someone then you shouldn't even speak let alone have any type of relationship...

If him and I don't work out, oh well... we tried our best and that's all anyone can do in any type of relationship... you never know unless you try, and deal with it and move on if its just not meant to be...
Well then trust that the advice was given with best intentions, since everyone was giving you one, view, i elected the to say the other, since you should get both, i thought i was protecting an innocent, and it was gonna to be your decision at the end of the day.

Last edited by real-deal; January 20th, 2012 at 06:43 AM..
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Unread January 20th, 2012, 06:48 AM   #18
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If him and I don't work out, oh well...
That's all that i was getting at.........so long as you're ok with that
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Unread January 20th, 2012, 06:54 AM   #19
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What you said kind of sounds bitter when it comes to men...
lol not at all.......
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Unread January 20th, 2012, 06:57 AM   #20
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well-adjusted adults.....
will act to avoid
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