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Down in the Dumps Breaking up is a difficult time. How does it go? Denial, Anger, acceptance? No... that's not it. Come to this forum to find out what it's really like.

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Unread July 24th, 2011, 09:16 AM   #1
trvr3289
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Default Advice on how to win back an ex girlfriend if you're her first love?

My ex girlfriend and I were together for 14 months. And everything was great. We are very compatible and attracted to each other. Still are. Problem is, I was her first real boyfriend and first love. She has dated and messed around with a decent amount of guys, so she felt like she had explored enough, and when meeting me, it changed everything. We're both 22 by the way. I've dated many girls, some serious so I'm polar opposites of my ex. She went to a party without me about 5 weeks ago, and got really drunk and made out with a close guy friend of hers, while we were still together. I've been in a similar situation when I was with her too, so I accepted her apology and thought we'd move on. But that incident opened a can of worms!! Got her thinking if I'm really the one, and we then decided that we needed space from each other, especially for her to figure things out.

After 2 weeks of this "break," I broke up with her to end the confusion. And now it has been over 2 weeks since I did that. She has barely said a word to me in the past month, unless I initiate the conversation which I've done a few times. She's only initiated a few conversations too cuz she thinks it will complicate things. But last night for the first time in a month, she gets very emotional, saying she has never stopped loving me one bit and thinks about me all the time. But she "Doesn't want to wake up when she's 40 and has kids with me and think..is this right?" her words exactly. But our conversation led to us deciding to meet up for dinner in a few days. And I plan on taking it very slow from here.

Any suggestions on how to win back the love of my life? Especially considering I'm her first love. Thanks.
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Unread July 24th, 2011, 10:45 AM   #2
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Default Re: Advice on how to win back an ex girlfriend if you're her first love?

Even if you were the first love it does not mean she is the right on.
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Unread July 24th, 2011, 11:00 AM   #3
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Default Re: Advice on how to win back an ex girlfriend if you're her first love?

I think she had the right idea on not contacting you. You broke up with her.

What is with people who make a decision then cannot carry through?
Its only been two weeks so your still processing the break up. Getting together and "talking" will just cloud the waters.
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Unread July 24th, 2011, 05:53 PM   #4
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Default Re: Advice on how to win back an ex girlfriend if you're her first love?

You don't. You move on. Dinner will be a bad idea.
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Unread July 24th, 2011, 06:52 PM   #5
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Default Re: Advice on how to win back an ex girlfriend if you're her first love?

Oh. You means 23 year old is still exploring herself and isn't sure if she wants to spend the next 60 years with the first guy she loved? How shocking and out of the ordinary!

You're both young (as am I) and you don't know what you want. The statistics are there. Marriages over the past 10 years that happen before the age of 26 have a near 70% divorce rate. People change in a HUGE way between the ages of 22-28. This is the time where one truly finds out who they are and what they are going to do in this world. The prospect of settling down when a person understands how much personal change they are about to go through is very intimidating.

What's worse is that you are the one who broke up with her and yet you are the one throwing out the mixed signals. Be an ADULT and stick to your decision. I can see through an Internet screen that you broke up with her only to prove a point and that you see she is serious about a break up you are trying to manipulate her feelings and get her back. I feel sorry for her.
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Unread July 25th, 2011, 10:03 AM   #6
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Default Re: Advice on how to win back an ex girlfriend if you're her first love?

Sadly I have to agree with the above. Move on, dinner might be more awqward than you think.
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