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Unread April 22nd, 2011, 10:40 AM   #1
Ray Jansen
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Default Should it be okay for my girlfriend to have guy friends?

I posted on here awhile back about this same girl saying "i dont see you in a relationship" in which i switched things up and soon after she was asking me "what we were", which of course is insinuating, "why arent we going out" lol. But now that we are , i wonder if its okay that she has a decent amount of guy friends...and also, that shes friends with one of her ex's , not that they hangout often, but i wonder if you think its possible for that to be it, just friends..

Before you voice your opinions id like to describe her as semi-tom boyish, granted shes very cute, she wont wear dresses and what-not and doesnt like alot of girl associated things, so i can see why she has guy friends.
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Unread April 22nd, 2011, 10:55 AM   #2
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Default Re: Should it be okay for my girlfriend to have guy friends?

I'm friends with my exes. But we don't hang out, we don't get together at Christmas, we don't exchange flirty text messages. We are cordial and civil that's it.
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Unread April 22nd, 2011, 11:01 AM   #3
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Default Re: Should it be okay for my girlfriend to have guy friends?

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Originally Posted by foh4k View Post
I'm friends with my exes. But we don't hang out, we don't get together at Christmas, we don't exchange flirty text messages. We are cordial and civil that's it.
Fair enough, whats your opinion on having guy friends period?
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Unread April 22nd, 2011, 11:08 AM   #4
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Default Re: Should it be okay for my girlfriend to have guy friends?

There's nothing wrong with a girl having guy friends, but I'll be honest, I would probably be suspicious at first, because in my experience, the females that have tended to have lots of male friends have usually turned out to be slappers. Not saying this is the case, just that I would be wary until proved otherwise.
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Unread April 22nd, 2011, 11:14 AM   #5
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Default Re: Should it be okay for my girlfriend to have guy friends?

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There's nothing wrong with a girl having guy friends, but I'll be honest, I would probably be suspicious at first, because in my experience, the females that have tended to have lots of male friends have usually turned out to be slappers. Not saying this is the case, just that I would be wary until proved otherwise.
Im right with you on that, this is my first relationship in 2 years, since then ive strictly been single, kind of a man whore if you will, so ive seen the soulless side of these chicks....cheating on their counterparts with me and hearing the bs they tell them, so with that being said its definately left me with a sense of paranoia....i trust this girl to a good extent though , she shows good character
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Unread April 22nd, 2011, 11:19 AM   #6
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Default Re: Should it be okay for my girlfriend to have guy friends?

To tell the truth. In my past, I have been one of the guy 'friends' of the girl who had a partner. The guy partner thought butter wouldn't melt in his GF's mouth, yet I and no doubt others, were also intimate with her. To him, he just thought that his GF had lots of male friends, but it's just that, friends. How wrong he was. This is probably one of the other reasons why I am so suspicious, because I have been the guy that the girl is cheating on her partner with.

I'm not proud of it by the way, but it's true.

I'm not trying to scare you or anything, and hopefully your girlfriend is one of the decent ones.
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Unread April 22nd, 2011, 11:20 AM   #7
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Default Re: Should it be okay for my girlfriend to have guy friends?

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Originally Posted by Ray Jansen View Post
Fair enough, whats your opinion on having guy friends period?
It's inevitable I have a lot of women friends. Doesn't mean I'm shagging them. I enjoy women's company and I think women enjoy company of the opposite sex but I also am not insecure enough to get jealous if my woman has a male friend. Unless she comes home and her breath smells like cock.

Jealousy is an extremely powerful and over riding emotion. if it's over riding you perhaps you could see a therapist regarding your triggers.
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Unread April 22nd, 2011, 12:17 PM   #8
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Default Re: Should it be okay for my girlfriend to have guy friends?

Are you for real? Are you seriously asking, "hey, can I cut her off from HALF of society to cater to my insecurities?" YES, women can have guy friends. wtf!
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Unread April 22nd, 2011, 01:26 PM   #9
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Default Re: Should it be okay for my girlfriend to have guy friends?

I have guy friends... no romance at all. I think that it's healthy, actually.
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Unread April 22nd, 2011, 01:58 PM   #10
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Default Re: Should it be okay for my girlfriend to have guy friends?

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Originally Posted by Kuky View Post
Are you for real? Are you seriously asking, "hey, can I cut her off from HALF of society to cater to my insecurities?" YES, women can have guy friends. wtf!
My thoughts exactly.
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Unread April 22nd, 2011, 02:25 PM   #11
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Default Re: Should it be okay for my girlfriend to have guy friends?

Wtf guys. You all know that when a woman gets within five feet of a penis they automatically crave it. Geeze.
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Unread April 22nd, 2011, 02:45 PM   #12
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Default Re: Should it be okay for my girlfriend to have guy friends?

Certainly a woman can have male friends without the hanky panky enabling shit that make you guys that fear his gal having male friends because you have been skanky yourself and schuttuuped a woman knowing she was married/living together/boyfriended. *sighs*

I'd think the only time you should be worried if she's specifically excluding you from their times together, NEVER wants to introduce you to them, spends more time with them than you and crosses relationship boundaries that you both have in place and have no intentions of ever dis-respecting or crossing... and ... If the friend of the opposite sex trys to disrespect your primary union, that crossing blocks be readily at hand to nip that shit in the bud.
If you are being respected and your relationship is being respected and it's obvious that you are No.1 then why worry?
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Unread April 22nd, 2011, 03:31 PM   #13
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Default Re: Should it be okay for my girlfriend to have guy friends?

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Wtf guys. You all know that when a woman gets within five feet of a penis they automatically crave it. Geeze.
I used to think that way, but eventually realized that my experience with women isn't necessarily that of everyone else's.
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Unread April 22nd, 2011, 05:46 PM   #14
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Default Re: Should it be okay for my girlfriend to have guy friends?

Of course she can have guy friends! What kind of dumb world do you live in?

do you have female friends, probably!
if you don't, you're a weirdo!

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Unread April 23rd, 2011, 02:49 PM   #15
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Default Re: Should it be okay for my girlfriend to have guy friends?

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Originally Posted by OvershareDude View Post
Of course she can have guy friends! What kind of dumb world do you live in?

do you have female friends, probably!
if you don't, you're a weirdo!

I realize its okay and normal, maybe i should of been more specific, i was only concerned because she has more guy friends then girls, and as far as me...i have girl friends.... But ive had sex with all of them... That may seem odd to some, but i believe for guys , in almost every case, we need to have an attraction to the female to associate ourselves with them
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Unread April 23rd, 2011, 04:58 PM   #16
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Default Re: Should it be okay for my girlfriend to have guy friends?

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Originally Posted by Ray Jansen View Post
I realize its okay and normal, maybe i should of been more specific, i was only concerned because she has more guy friends then girls, and as far as me...i have girl friends.... But ive had sex with all of them... That may seem odd to some, but i believe for guys , in almost every case, we need to have an attraction to the female to associate ourselves with them
I think men like you make lousy partners. You can't see beyond your own skank and so you think everyone is just like you.. untrustworthy and fuck-buddy tainted, willing to steal some other dudes chick so you think ALL men do that too so you can't trust your girlfriend to be around them. Ugh!
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Unread April 23rd, 2011, 07:13 PM   #17
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Default Re: Should it be okay for my girlfriend to have guy friends?

I have more female friends than guy friends, have I slept with them? no, not one.

You're waaaayyyy too closed minded about the whole thing. Lighten up.
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Unread April 23rd, 2011, 07:58 PM   #18
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Default Re: Should it be okay for my girlfriend to have guy friends?

I appreciate all of your responses, thank you
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Unread April 23rd, 2011, 08:24 PM   #19
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Default Re: Should it be okay for my girlfriend to have guy friends?

It may take some time for you to accept thats the way it is, but you should work on it.

Good luck
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Unread April 24th, 2011, 01:41 AM   #20
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Default Re: Should it be okay for my girlfriend to have guy friends?

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Originally Posted by Ray Jansen View Post
But now that we are , i wonder if its okay that she has a decent amount of guy friends...and also, that shes friends with one of her ex's , not that they hangout often, but i wonder if you think its possible for that to be it, just friends..
Ok, you didn't consider this BEFORE you went out with her? This is a situation that was as it was when you got into it. It's her life. Her choices. And her friends. What gives you ANY right to dictate who she can and cannot talk to? Of course it's ok to have opposite sex friends.

Is it possible to be friends AND THAT'S IT? I was married for 7 years. My ex-wife and I are still great friends. We talk regularly. We do things together when we're in each other's area. And we don't fuck. Ever. At all. Or even think about it.

I, however, don't have the same track record as OverShare. I have many female friends. I can't help it that my girlfriends want to fuck me, and call me routinely after a fun night out with their girlfriends... Or after a lame ass date. They, however, aren't exclusive with anyone, and if they are shenanigans stop.

Quote:
Before you voice your opinions id like to describe her as semi-tom boyish, granted shes very cute, she wont wear dresses and what-not and doesnt like alot of girl associated things, so i can see why she has guy friends.
What does this have to do with anything? Again, it's her life. Her choices and her decisions. Even if she dressed like a Saturday night hooker, she was the person then that she is now, that you've chosen to jump on her bandwagon.

Last edited by Duke; April 24th, 2011 at 02:14 AM..
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