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The Long Haul Are you past the flirting and dating stage? Wondering if there's life after 6 months with the same person? If you're in a serious long term relationship, this is your one-stop shop for questions and answers.

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Unread March 28th, 2011, 12:09 AM   #1
Angelwngs
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Question Is it normal for my boyfriend to be this clingy at night?

Ok so whenever my boyfriend goes to sleep sometimes I will still stay awake and surf the web or play my new "Pokemon Black" game or watch a show I like and if I let him start cuddling me when he goes to sleep while I also do any of those other things and I sit up because I can't see very well or my back hurts he freaks out and grabs onto me really tight and tries to pull me back whining like a baby almost that had it's pacifier taken away.

Sometimes if I get up to go to the bathroom he will try and keep me from going and saying "Don't go, Don't go, snugglies". He also grabs my boob like every night when we go to sleep and he knows I find it very annoying and it makes it a little hard to get to sleep.

Is any of this normal or just weird? What do you think he acts this way for?
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Unread March 28th, 2011, 12:46 AM   #2
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Default Re: Is it normal for my boyfriend to be this clingy at night?

snugglies?
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Unread March 28th, 2011, 12:53 AM   #3
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Smile Re: Is it normal for my boyfriend to be this clingy at night?

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snugglies?
Yeah, snugglies! Oh, and he talks in a baby voice when he does it.
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Unread March 28th, 2011, 02:55 AM   #4
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Default Re: Is it normal for my boyfriend to be this clingy at night?

Theres nothing sexy about the baby voice.
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Unread March 28th, 2011, 03:11 AM   #5
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Default Re: Is it normal for my boyfriend to be this clingy at night?

http://www.relationship-forums.com/s...hlight=groping

I have the sleep groping issue too, except its gotten way worse lately.
None of these things worked for me, but maybe something in there will work for you.

And I agree, nothing sexy about the baby talk.
actually... I kinda do that, I ask for snuggles (code specifically for spooning) and kinda babyish when I do it... but I don't force her.
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Unread March 28th, 2011, 03:27 AM   #6
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Smile Re: Is it normal for my boyfriend to be this clingy at night?

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Theres nothing sexy about the baby voice.
I dunno, it's kinda cute...but when he's 27 years old it kinda makes me wonder.
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Unread March 28th, 2011, 03:37 AM   #7
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Smile Re: Is it normal for my boyfriend to be this clingy at night?

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I have the sleep groping issue too, except its gotten way worse lately.
Actually it's not that he's doing it in his sleep. Before he goes to sleep he purposely grabs my boob even though he knows I don't like that and it makes it hard to sleep and he acts like if he doesn't get to hold it while he is sleeping he's going to die. If I move his hand off he gets really mad that I won't let him hold it and he whines and begs for me to let him hold it.
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Unread March 28th, 2011, 03:38 AM   #8
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Default Re: Is it normal for my boyfriend to be this clingy at night?

oh right, well, i'm sure some things like the pillows could be an idea.

From a guys POV, they're really nice to touch (I assume yours are too! :P )
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Unread March 28th, 2011, 03:41 AM   #9
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Default Re: Is it normal for my boyfriend to be this clingy at night?

Ok, so your boyfriend has 'sociopathic tendencies' and reverts to infancy at night? Two major warning signs there.

No, that is not normal. It is bordering on pathological and should be addressed in an adult, coherent conversation.
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Unread March 28th, 2011, 04:02 AM   #10
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Question Re: Is it normal for my boyfriend to be this clingy at night?

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Ok, so your boyfriend has 'sociopathic tendencies' and reverts to infancy at night? Two major warning signs there.

No, that is not normal. It is bordering on pathological and should be addressed in an adult, coherent conversation.
Ok, might I ask you to explain why these are warning signs?
Also, what do you mean it's bordering on pathological?
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Unread March 28th, 2011, 04:11 AM   #11
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Wink Re: Is it normal for my boyfriend to be this clingy at night?

Quote:
Originally Posted by OvershareDude View Post
(I assume yours are too! :P )
Yea they are, he is obsessed with them because they are size 36D. Whenever he has a day off he spends his days off with me one week and then spends his days off the next week with his parents. So, when he spends his days off with me he is grabbing my boob quite a lot during the day especially since we usually hang out at the apartment. But he knows I hate it, so he doesn't have his hand attached to it all day like I know he would if he could.
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Unread March 28th, 2011, 05:35 AM   #12
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Default Re: Is it normal for my boyfriend to be this clingy at night?

Bahaha... Angel, I have 38DD and if I'm wearing body hugging tops my boyfriend will just stare at them. I'll look at him and he'll just say "I want to touch them..." Sadly he's not allowed to, just yet. =P

I think that guys reverting to a cuddling boy is normal. Nearly all the guys I've dated acted like normal man in the streets, but when it came to sleeping or behind closed doors they couldn't let me go. Same goes for P, although he's not obsessive, he enjoys cuddling more than not.
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Unread March 28th, 2011, 07:50 AM   #13
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Default Re: Is it normal for my boyfriend to be this clingy at night?

Ok, these are the things you have posted about him.

Quote:
He like never initiates anything and the only time I he like half ass initiates it is if I tell him I want to hold his hand or kiss and he usually does it right after that but it feels like he is just doing it because I asked him to right then.
Quote:
he like does the same thing like if I ask him why he never compliments me he will like automatically just spew out a compliment like it's not even coming from the heart he just says it to drop the subject or humor me.
Quote:
He also told me himself his parents have never been very affectionate with each other and he says they don't even snuggle when they go to bed.
Quote:
if I let him start cuddling me when he goes to sleep while I also do any of those other things and I sit up because I can't see very well or my back hurts he freaks out and grabs onto me really tight and tries to pull me back whining like a baby almost that had it's pacifier taken away.
On the one end of the displays of affection spectrum, you feel that he acts very coldly towards you when he doesn't reciprocates your compliments, sexual advances, and physical affection. He grew up without models of affection and with overbearing but indulgent parents. And then on the other end of the spectrum, he clings to you to the point of discomfort, reverts to baby talk, and latches onto your breast on a regular enough basis that you begin to wonder about the normalcy of it.

Do you see the wide disparity here? If this clinginess happened from time to time it could be considered cute, depending on your preferences. If he was not affectionate from time to time, you could chalk it up to a poor mood; or, if it was something that is a regular behavior for him you could discuss this with him so that he could work on making you feel more physically accepted in the relationship.

But, from your posts, he swings between these two extremes and I don't know what happens when you talk to him about these problems. It seems like you come to the forums to vent about the problems, which is fair enough; but I have also noticed that a of your advice concerns things you can do to change his behavior, when really this should be about how you can both work on this together.

So when I say these are warning signs, I am pointing out that his peculiar extremes surrounding affection are not normal when taken as as a whole. Maybe pathological is a bit too strong of a term. I don't doubt that he is a great guy and that he loves you and that you love him just as much. Given that, these may be things you guys can address together, because, really, that is what a partner is for- someone to support you through sorting out your issues.
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Unread March 28th, 2011, 04:17 PM   #14
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Default Re: Is it normal for my boyfriend to be this clingy at night?

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Bahaha... Angel, I have 38DD
I have no clue what you wrote past this point...does it really matter? Lol

C'mon, I had to!

Why can't he touch them yet?
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Unread March 28th, 2011, 04:21 PM   #15
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Default Re: Is it normal for my boyfriend to be this clingy at night?

Actually, I'm the type of guy where bigger is not better, I love my girlfriend, she's so petite.
I'm not a fan of big ones.
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Unread March 28th, 2011, 04:39 PM   #16
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Mad Re: Is it normal for my boyfriend to be this clingy at night?

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Actually, I'm the type of guy where bigger is not better, I love my girlfriend, she's so petite.
I'm not a fan of big ones.
I like having big boobs, but when he constantly is either staring at them or when we go to bed he grabs one of them even though he knows I don't like it and it makes it hard to sleep it's annoying that he constantly gives my boobs that much attention.
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Unread March 28th, 2011, 05:09 PM   #17
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Default Re: Is it normal for my boyfriend to be this clingy at night?

Yeh, thats a bit immature and disrespectful.
Time and place.

He needs to learn boundaries. Don't let him touch them and deal with his whinging until he learns.
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Unread March 28th, 2011, 06:40 PM   #18
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Default Re: Is it normal for my boyfriend to be this clingy at night?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Angelwngs View Post
Yeah, snugglies! Oh, and he talks in a baby voice when he does it.
Well, there's a difference between being cute/affectionate, and being baby-talk annoying. My boyfriend reciprocates my silly voices and whatnot, but he finds them to be cute. He doesn't do baby-talk though.

I would say that if it bothers you, just ask him to stop. Or ask him why he does that. Be understanding, but try to let him know that it bothers you in a civil way.

I mean, according to your other thread I gather that he's the submissive one, and you're the dominant, abusive one. So I think that he's just playing up the submissive role. You get irritated with it because you're the dominant one. You may just need someone who's your level of "strong" instead of this guy, who submits to your will and just wants to please you. Just my two cents on this one, because judging by your other threads, this is what I see.
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Unread March 30th, 2011, 05:33 PM   #19
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Default Re: Is it normal for my boyfriend to be this clingy at night?

This has got to be one of THE funniest threads I've seen so far.

Anyway...

My first husband was kinda like that, too. He wanted me in bed with him, ever night, lights out, snuggled tight. I like to read a little before I go to sleep, which drove him nuts. He kept whining about the light keeping him awake, so I stayed in the living room. That didn't work, either. No sooner would I get settled, immersed in the plot line, and here he'd come, telling me I needed to go to bed. WTF? He'd do the boob grab thing, too, although I'm sorry to say mine aren't as grabable as yours. He also was given to baby-talk, sometimes during sex, which was like someone throwing a bucket of ice water on me.

Not sure if any of this related to his future behavior, but now I'm wondering if it wasn't a sign. He had a psychotic break in 2001, after 12 years of marriage, nearly choked me to death. He was never violent, always mild mannered, but clingy. Liked to have me under his thumb pretty much all the time. Water Nymph gave me a whole new perspective on this, not that it matters a whole lot now. Something to think about, tho.
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