Members: 15,363
Threads: 38,096
Posts: 405,879
Online: 36

Newest Member: charismaticace


Go Back   The Relationship Forums > The Relationship > The Chase

Notices

The Chase Places, People, Roses... everything involved in the dating game, as well as including that First Kiss and more! New home of FLIRTATION LOCATION and THE GAME

Reply
Thread Tools
Unread June 20th, 2010, 10:34 PM   #1
stasia
Love Machine
 
stasia's Avatar
 
Join Date: November 28th, 2009
Location: U.S
Posts: 867
Gender: Female
Status: single
stasia is a splendid one to beholdstasia is a splendid one to beholdstasia is a splendid one to beholdstasia is a splendid one to beholdstasia is a splendid one to beholdstasia is a splendid one to beholdstasia is a splendid one to behold
Default Is Fate Real in relationships?

I was wondering: you know how people say "if it's meant to be it'll happen?" I personally don't know whether to believe this or not. I was always taught that "fate is what you make" but sometimes things are just too coincidental. Could it be that people are "meant to be" or that "the one" exists or is it all bullshit?

Opinions please. Muchas gracias!
stasia is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread June 20th, 2010, 11:46 PM   #2
Kuky
Administrator
 
Join Date: October 10th, 2001
Location: Seattle
Posts: 17,854
Gender: Male
Status: Need glasses, need to shave palms
Kuky has a reputation beyond reputeKuky has a reputation beyond reputeKuky has a reputation beyond reputeKuky has a reputation beyond reputeKuky has a reputation beyond reputeKuky has a reputation beyond reputeKuky has a reputation beyond reputeKuky has a reputation beyond reputeKuky has a reputation beyond reputeKuky has a reputation beyond reputeKuky has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Is Fate Real in relationships?

Assuming that by fate, you mean "everything is predetermined", then no, there is no such thing as fate in any context. Of course, that's just my opinion/belief. You're most welcome to any limiting belief you want to screw yourself over with.

Regarding your coincidences: I think you're confusing "fate" with "you repeating the same mistakes because you're too stubborn to learn." Ultimately, this is probably just a new and pointless angle at trying to justify your desire to go back to your deadbeat ex. Tell me I'm wrong.
__________________
%0|%0
Kuky is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread June 20th, 2010, 11:58 PM   #3
stasia
Love Machine
 
stasia's Avatar
 
Join Date: November 28th, 2009
Location: U.S
Posts: 867
Gender: Female
Status: single
stasia is a splendid one to beholdstasia is a splendid one to beholdstasia is a splendid one to beholdstasia is a splendid one to beholdstasia is a splendid one to beholdstasia is a splendid one to beholdstasia is a splendid one to behold
Default Re: Is Fate Real in relationships?

No I don't want to go back to him I'm trying to figure out how to go about thinking in general. We're technically together but I'm going to tell him tomorrw that we're just friends. I was thinking that if I let him go, and we're supposed to be together then we'll end up together. But then I'm thinking if I let him go, then he'll be just that- gone...which makes most sense.

I'm just confused.
stasia is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread June 21st, 2010, 12:27 AM   #4
Panda
Part Time Philosopher
 
Panda's Avatar
 
Join Date: November 16th, 2008
Posts: 2,519
Gender: Female
Status: Wondering how it could possibly get better than this
Panda has a reputation beyond reputePanda has a reputation beyond reputePanda has a reputation beyond reputePanda has a reputation beyond reputePanda has a reputation beyond reputePanda has a reputation beyond reputePanda has a reputation beyond reputePanda has a reputation beyond reputePanda has a reputation beyond reputePanda has a reputation beyond reputePanda has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Is Fate Real in relationships?

I think it's more like, anything is possible.

For instance, I do believe in "signs" that point me in a particular direction. Say I was thinking of a song, and randomly, the guy I like, or a friend begins to sing that song to me... it's meaningful. It's meaningful ONLY in that it's a connection, though. You can have connections with anyone. At any time. The trouble, and consequently, what you see as "fate" is timing. Because connection plus correct timing is all there is to it for two people in a relationship. (Says me. I could be wrong, it's happened before.)

In any case, I don't think there is THE ONE for anyone. There are all kinds of people that I'm compatable with. But the trick is that he has to be what I'm attracted to at that particular time. So say I have four guy friends, I find most of them attractive, but there are small glitches or no "signs" that make me think twice about them... they generally stay friends. I need "signs," but I don't think it's the same as fate or meeting THE ONE.
Panda is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread June 21st, 2010, 12:40 AM   #5
stasia
Love Machine
 
stasia's Avatar
 
Join Date: November 28th, 2009
Location: U.S
Posts: 867
Gender: Female
Status: single
stasia is a splendid one to beholdstasia is a splendid one to beholdstasia is a splendid one to beholdstasia is a splendid one to beholdstasia is a splendid one to beholdstasia is a splendid one to beholdstasia is a splendid one to behold
Default Re: Is Fate Real in relationships?

The whole point of "signs" though almost make it seem like things are "meant to be." Like "dont do this" or "do that." I agree timing is everything. I don't believe in "the one" I think it's just the person whose you like most and happens to like you most too out of all the people they met and you both happen to want to get married. It can't be both- it has to either be "things were meant to be this way" or "everything is a coincidence." There's really no middle ground. I just don't know which to believe.
stasia is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread June 21st, 2010, 12:51 AM   #6
Panda
Part Time Philosopher
 
Panda's Avatar
 
Join Date: November 16th, 2008
Posts: 2,519
Gender: Female
Status: Wondering how it could possibly get better than this
Panda has a reputation beyond reputePanda has a reputation beyond reputePanda has a reputation beyond reputePanda has a reputation beyond reputePanda has a reputation beyond reputePanda has a reputation beyond reputePanda has a reputation beyond reputePanda has a reputation beyond reputePanda has a reputation beyond reputePanda has a reputation beyond reputePanda has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Is Fate Real in relationships?

Quote:
Originally Posted by stasia View Post
The whole point of "signs" though almost make it seem like things are "meant to be." Like "dont do this" or "do that." I agree timing is everything. I don't believe in "the one" I think it's just the person whose you like most and happens to like you most too out of all the people they met and you both happen to want to get married. It can't be both- it has to either be "things were meant to be this way" or "everything is a coincidence." There's really no middle ground. I just don't know which to believe.
No, it's not a meant to be thing. I just notice them, not invest my whole life around them. lol. That's the difference. Signs to me are just ways of letting us know we're not alone, and the more signs that you have with someone, the more compatable your probably are. (IMO.) But I don't believe I've found the one just based on those. I just notice them and keep track of what's around me. Not fate; rather it's being in touch with your intuition. Your mind tells you everything you need to know if you listen and pay attention.

Sorry if this is sounding a bit esoteric kids.
Panda is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread June 21st, 2010, 02:50 AM   #7
Surfa
St. Valentines
 
Surfa's Avatar
 
Join Date: October 29th, 2009
Posts: 1,047
Surfa has a brilliant futureSurfa has a brilliant futureSurfa has a brilliant futureSurfa has a brilliant futureSurfa has a brilliant futureSurfa has a brilliant futureSurfa has a brilliant futureSurfa has a brilliant futureSurfa has a brilliant futureSurfa has a brilliant futureSurfa has a brilliant future
Default Re: Is Fate Real in relationships?

Quote:
Originally Posted by stasia View Post
I'm just confused.
There's a shock..
__________________
I dig my toes into the sand. The ocean looks like a thousand diamonds strewn across a blue blanket.
Surfa is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread June 21st, 2010, 02:55 AM   #8
phasesofthemoon
I'm not a moderator yet?
 
phasesofthemoon's Avatar
 
Join Date: February 21st, 2010
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 12,123
Gender: Female
Status: Happily connected for many years ! Oh, and glad I'm not a Moderator :D
phasesofthemoon has a reputation beyond reputephasesofthemoon has a reputation beyond reputephasesofthemoon has a reputation beyond reputephasesofthemoon has a reputation beyond reputephasesofthemoon has a reputation beyond reputephasesofthemoon has a reputation beyond reputephasesofthemoon has a reputation beyond reputephasesofthemoon has a reputation beyond reputephasesofthemoon has a reputation beyond reputephasesofthemoon has a reputation beyond reputephasesofthemoon has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Is Fate Real in relationships?

Quote:
No I don't want to go back to him I'm trying to figure out how to go about thinking in general. We're technically together but I'm going to tell him tomorrw that we're just friends. I was thinking that if I let him go, and we're supposed to be together then we'll end up together. But then I'm thinking if I let him go, then he'll be just that- gone...which makes most sense.

I'm just confused.
Oye!

How can you say "no I don't want him back" and then in the same sentence say: "We're technically together"??? WTF does that actually mean to you?

Anyway, I am one that believes the if you are meant to be together than you will be. However; If the relationship breaks up for a reason and that particular reason has been remedied, then he/she can come back and the relationship can be rekindled. However; there has to be actual love for one another. With game playing, fuck buddy, "you're good while I'm in town" only kinds of relationships, well very seldom will fate intervene for something that is ultimately not in your best interests.
__________________
"First off, welcome to the Relationship Forums, You'll come to understand that I don't pull any punches when giving my opinion/advice and I hope you're not so sensitive to what I see as the truth of the matter." Me!
phasesofthemoon is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread June 21st, 2010, 03:16 AM   #9
automorphism
Cupid
 
automorphism's Avatar
 
Join Date: April 22nd, 2007
Location: United States
Posts: 3,520
Gender: Male
Status: Single
automorphism has a reputation beyond reputeautomorphism has a reputation beyond reputeautomorphism has a reputation beyond reputeautomorphism has a reputation beyond reputeautomorphism has a reputation beyond reputeautomorphism has a reputation beyond reputeautomorphism has a reputation beyond reputeautomorphism has a reputation beyond reputeautomorphism has a reputation beyond reputeautomorphism has a reputation beyond reputeautomorphism has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Is Fate Real in relationships?

One and only one thing will happen, but I don't believe in some fate preordained by some entities that includes certain people coming together with certain other people. However, whether or not that's true, your experience won't change either way. What does change is the gains and losses that you experience based on what choices you make, regardless of whether those are predetermined.

In other words, just do it (dump him for good, that is, in every sense of the word).
__________________
~
automorphism is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread June 25th, 2010, 11:17 AM   #10
Blossoms
Love Guru
 
Blossoms's Avatar
 
Join Date: October 21st, 2009
Posts: 363
Gender: Female
Status: Recovering. Hibernating.
Blossoms is a jewel in the roughBlossoms is a jewel in the roughBlossoms is a jewel in the rough
Default Re: Is Fate Real in relationships?

I'm not sure what I believe about this topic, either.

I don't believe in "THE ONE" even though I (secretly) want to. Like Panda, I think there are a handful of people who are compatible for you, but it all depends on where they are in their lives, where you are, and how people are changing. You can be compatible with someone for a short period of time, and it can be all fireworks and passionate romance - but maybe that will later be known as a short period of time in your life where it worked out. You can be compatible with someone who you've never met halfway across the world - but it wouldn't work out because you're too far away and you don't know this person. But I guess that's what's confusing: will "fate" bring you halfway across the world to meet this person? Or maybe fate has you sitting on your butt, watching TV with someone you're less compatible with.

However, I think people have "the one" in the sense that there is someone out there who they are mostly compatible with for a long period of time. Like someone who they marry and they are happy with for 30+ years. I don't think they're perfect for each other - because everyone has their problems they have to work out - but that's what makes things exciting, right? Also, just because they're compatible for each other in the long run, doesn't mean they could start off dating when they're 6 years old and still be okay when they're 90. This is just me theorizing though.

"If it's meant to be, it'll happen" seems to me like a lazy statement. It's just like "whatever happens will happen for a reason" - but however you think of it, "whatever" will happen, and it always has "a reason" - just "whatever" could be anything, and people can come up with a reason for anything. So maybe that statement is just to put your mind at ease. Let yourself take things as it goes - because sometimes fussing over stuff doesn't do anything but hurt you.
Blossoms is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread June 25th, 2010, 11:59 AM   #11
Rogue4Rent
Banned
 
Join Date: April 12th, 2010
Location: Central Florida
Posts: 1,389
Gender: Male
Status: Winning in "The Game".
Rogue4Rent is a splendid one to beholdRogue4Rent is a splendid one to beholdRogue4Rent is a splendid one to beholdRogue4Rent is a splendid one to beholdRogue4Rent is a splendid one to beholdRogue4Rent is a splendid one to beholdRogue4Rent is a splendid one to beholdRogue4Rent is a splendid one to behold
Default Re: Is Fate Real in relationships?

When I look into a bowl of Cheerios do I see the letters forming occult symbols or are they just saying: "oooooooooooooooooooooooooo"?

You see what you want to see, whenever you want to see it. I don't believe in the soulmate paradigm, other people do. Neither of us are bad or wrong, we merely have different perspectives and experiences to gauge what we find plausable as a goal.

I believe "The One" is a character in a movie (a damned great movie, but a movie nonetheless), not a way to frame a potential relationship.
Rogue4Rent is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread July 4th, 2010, 07:49 PM   #12
dsfg_lover_001
New Member
 
Join Date: July 4th, 2010
Posts: 44
Gender: Female
dsfg_lover_001 is on a distinguished road
Default Re: Is Fate Real in relationships?

You should always open up for any possibilities.What exactly is mean to be.We heard most of those stuff is from friends, families.Coz that`s their believes.And they follow by the society.But that doesn`t mean is right or wrong.Anything happened,trust yourself,follow by the flow.There is nobody knows you more that yourself.Don`t make yourself regret.
dsfg_lover_001 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 04:58 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Contents © 2005 The Relationship Forums. All rights reserved.
A vBSkinworks Design