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The Long Haul Are you past the flirting and dating stage? Wondering if there's life after 6 months with the same person? If you're in a serious long term relationship, this is your one-stop shop for questions and answers.

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Unread April 4th, 2010, 01:15 AM   #1
arym21
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Default Er... I think my boyfriend thinks I'm crazy

Right now he and I aren't talking.
Often times whenever my boyfriend is not in a chatty mood is when I want to talk to him. We have our fun conversations here and there, but sometimes it irks me that I can't talk to him because he doesn't feel chatty. We tried working it out all the time, but since last week he's been dodging my phone calls or even ignoring my text messages because, you guessed it, he "doesn't feel chatty" (or that he's busy).
I'm the kind of person who wants to bring up the problem and get it worked out right away, but my boyfriend's the kind who just shrugs things off and hopefully things will get back to normal again. I honestly want to talk to him right now, but I feel like I'm bothering him because we've been having this kind of problem before (it even got to a point where he said "Calm down! I know you want to talk and all, but please stop freaking out whenever I don't feel chatty"). I'm sure he knows that already, and I think he's starting to think I'm clingy or crazy.
And it's weird because, like I said, we've been having this kind of problem almost several times and yet he's never mentioned about breaking up with me or anything like that. It makes me think that I'm the one with the problem
Is there a way to fix this problem once and for all? Or am I just one of those extremely clingy girlfriends that needs to calm down a bit? :/
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Unread April 4th, 2010, 02:33 PM   #2
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Default Re: Er... I think my boyfriend thinks I'm crazy

Does this happen mostly over the phone, or in person too? Cause I never feel chatty over the phone.

But one way I get chattier over the phone is by walking around the house. Like if I'm on a landline that isn't cordless, I just get tired and bored, but if I'm on a cordless (or a cell I guess, but I don't like talking on a cell), and I start walking around the house, the movement puts me into a more chatty state.
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Unread April 4th, 2010, 07:46 PM   #3
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Default Re: Er... I think my boyfriend thinks I'm crazy

I don't think there is anything wrong with you. You're just different than your boyfriend, and you two need to reach a compromise. Just because you like to talk doesn't mean he can shut you down every time... and just because he doesn't like to talk all the time, doesn't mean you have to wait around for him to want to talk. Sometimes it's about give and take. Maybe try to call him during times when he is feeling chatty (could be a particular time of day, after going out or whenever that may be).

Regarding talking about your problems - I know how you feel about that. I want to get them sorted right away, too.. and I've been lucky because my boyfriend has so far been willing to come over and sit with me for four hours while I talk things through with him (lately I've been really emotional around him, which I usually don't like to show in front of anyone else but myself). I've heard from my friends that guys tend to get really freaked out by this (emotional talk, problems, etc).... so I think sometimes it's a good idea to think things through by yourself before you approach your boyfriend with a problem. Maybe talk to your girlfriends about it first, give yourself a day or two to mull things over, and then talk to your boyfriend. I've heard it's normal for guys to pull away when a girl wants them close - so sometimes that happens at the worst of times. If you give him some space, he should feel less constricted and come back to you.

Hope this helps.
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Unread April 4th, 2010, 09:06 PM   #4
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Default Re: Er... I think my boyfriend thinks I'm crazy

Communication is key, no matter what. I dont think its fair to you that you can only talk to him when he feels like it. But I do like Blossoms idea, because I do it myself. Before you right away go up to him and rant about how you feel, think it over. Sleep on it, and if it bothers you still the next day, then talk to a friend, or post on here. Then re-asess it. Also, try to take yourself out of the scenario and think "if I heard someone else telling me this problem, what would my advice be?" If you still think this is a problem, then you need to get him alone in person and tell him you really do need to talk. Make your point to him and be brief. If he uses the "I dont feel chatty" excuse, tell him its important you talk about it now. if he consistently dodges things, then something is up and I think you have deeper issues in the relationship then.
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Unread July 15th, 2011, 08:52 PM   #5
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Default Re: Er... I think my boyfriend thinks I'm crazy

Hi i need advice on my current relationship. My boyfriend seemed to be the perfect guy to me; we spoke all the time and he made sacrifices along with myself to make sure that our relationship lasts. Recently i realized that he has been very distant. He no longer messages me or whenever we are speaking on a popular online chat, he often leaves and does not alert me n converses with other people and leaves me waiting on a reply while i stupidly waits not wanting to accept the fact that he just might not be coming back. He also recently changed his facebook password so that i cant get into his facebook. Im the type to talk our problems out but he more prefers to leave it alone and see if things get better. We were speaking online earlier on today and he basically signed out on me. I have no idea what next to do. Is something wrong with me? Please help
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Unread July 15th, 2011, 09:06 PM   #6
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Default Re: Er... I think my boyfriend thinks I'm crazy

plz start a new thread instead of bringing back an old one from the dead
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