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The Long Haul Are you past the flirting and dating stage? Wondering if there's life after 6 months with the same person? If you're in a serious long term relationship, this is your one-stop shop for questions and answers.

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Unread December 27th, 2009, 12:05 PM   #1
Rain
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Default When did you realize you were in love?

There is a forum asking how long you have been with your other, but about how long into the relationship were you when you realized you were falling/in love with them?
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Unread December 27th, 2009, 12:38 PM   #2
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Default Re: When did you realize you were in love?

Two months. In a completely different relationship, though with the same man/boy, 9 years ago.

I didn't believe it myself, so I didn't say anything until after four months.

He broke up with me shortly thereafter and we were the most platonic friends you've ever seen. I still loved him, but I also wanted him to be happy so I wasn't sitting around moping wishing he'd love me back or anything and I was genuinely very happy for him when he started dating someone else. About three years later he'd come around to my way of thinking and told me he loved me. We started dating soon after and have been married for three years now.

So, for me, T-3 years. For him T-2 months. T being the time we actually became involved as the couple we now are.
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Unread December 27th, 2009, 01:46 PM   #3
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Default Re: When did you realize you were in love?

With my longest relationship, I knew the person for almost a year before getting together with them and I had already fallen in love by the time we got into a relationship. I suppose it took about four months after I started to spend significant amounts of time with her.
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Unread December 27th, 2009, 04:03 PM   #4
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Default Re: When did you realize you were in love?

Weird as it is, almost instantly I knew she was special, a week or so later I was madly in love (keep in mind we spent almost the entire week together talking, and I really mean all week, conversations of 8 hours on end and longer..) I know this is short and alot of people are probably going to think that can't be after a week, but that's how it is (and yes I have been in enough relationships before, but never fell in love this fast, it surprised me too...)
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Unread December 27th, 2009, 04:53 PM   #5
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Default Re: When did you realize you were in love?

In the last 2 relationships, it has always been a mutual period of time. Which was 3 months. Strangely enough, when I wanted to confess my feelings in both instances, the girl felt the same back at that same time

Im not sure if there's a transition which happens between falling for someone then being in love. Its always been quite hazy for me.

I was seeing this girl a couple of months ago and we spent so much time talking on the phone, msn, exchanging emails and staying up most nights to talk to each other. It didnt work out, but looking back I see that I was falling for her, and if it had carried on, I would have probably have fallen in love with her. So, I think its quite natural to feel in love after a few weeks if its been intense contact. Love has a different meaning for most people.

Also Deidre: Thats one of the sweetest love stories Ive heard. Glad that it worked out that way
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Unread December 27th, 2009, 06:06 PM   #6
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Default Re: When did you realize you were in love?

He had been my best friend for about a year before we started dating. We both transfered to the same university mid-year and created a bond based on neither of us having any friends for miles and miles and miles..... It was a mutual camaraderie.

At the time, I was dating this other boy and was starting to realize that the "love" that I had for him was not of the unconditional kind. I was becoming bored and confused and frequently fantasized about starting a new life someplace else with someone new.

So, about a year after meeting this new man, I let my guard down and let things happen. I had a deep love for him as a friend for about a year. But after our relationship changed into the romantic kind, it took somewhere between 2 and 4 months to understand that this love was different. He told me that he loved me in a matter of weeks after I concluded that I did in fact love him. We have since been together for 5 years.
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Unread December 27th, 2009, 07:46 PM   #7
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Default Re: When did you realize you were in love?

It took four months of flirting, talking, and feeling the need to always stay in contact that did it for us. I knew within the first month that he was important to me... and excited me in ways that no one else ever had. I didn't think we could ever be together because he was really into drugs, and we did live so far apart. (Me, US, Him, NZ) It took a further two months for him to admit that he liked me. It took us about two months after that to admit that we had fallen for each other. When we met each other for the first time in real life, it was love at first sight for the both of us. We've been together three years and nine months. Longest relationship for both of us.
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Unread December 28th, 2009, 07:56 PM   #8
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Default Re: When did you realize you were in love?

Panda and I seem to share certain similarities in our relationships. For me, I knew he was important within a couple weeks and even though we voiced love fairly early on, I don't think I understood just how much he meant to me until roughly a year and a half later, when we started to go through the shit show that defined the second half of my senior year. Even though we tumbled through a whole mess of emotions and fights and troubles, I found that under it all, there was an enduring, slow burning love for him that I can't really explain or put to words.

I don't really know where we stand right now because a lot of things have been in flux so I've just let that emotion stay there, quietly simmering, until we are back in the same country, this time permanently.

Does this even make sense? I never really know how to put this to words.
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Unread December 29th, 2009, 12:23 PM   #9
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Default Re: When did you realize you were in love?

Well, I had just got out of a very dysfunctional relationship of five yrs, and was moving in w/ my roommate. My husband happened to be my next door neighbor. We had a loud siren inside of our townhome, and couldnt figure where the noise was coming from. I am pretty shy. But, I actually went next door and asked the hottie to come over and look at it. He ended up fixing the chain on our toilet. lol. I made him brownies the following week, and the rest is history. He is the best thing that ever happened to me. He is awesome, and the best man ever. I knew i was in love probably within that week. But, we both felt something instantly.
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Unread December 31st, 2009, 12:58 AM   #10
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Default Re: When did you realize you were in love?

I usually have the whole "love-at-first-sight". That's what happened with my current gf. I saw her and thought "man, that person could totally break my heart". We started dating a week later, and a week after that said "i love you". We move kinda fast, but we've been living together for a couple weeks now and its still going great. I love her more and more every day.
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Unread December 31st, 2009, 11:41 PM   #11
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Default Re: When did you realize you were in love?

I worked with my BF for a year before we started dating. During that time, I was in a relationship that lasted over 9 years. I thought I knew what love was.

When me and the ex broke up, BF asked me out. At that point, we had known each other at work, and as friends at a few gatherings at my house. And as flirtatious people on AIM. We went on a couple dates. Had a couple sleepovers.

Three months later, he calls me while I am out with another guy. I let it go to voicemail. I call him back the next day to ask what he wanted. Said he just wanted to tell me that he was *sure*, *positive*, that he loved me.

Three months. Three months of me telling myself "don't say it, don't say it, you don't mean it, don't say it'" but I knew it almost immediately.

We will be together for a year next week. He bought me New Years flowers and tells me I'm beautiful every day. I knew there was something there the instant that I met him <3
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Unread January 1st, 2010, 09:52 PM   #12
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Default Re: When did you realize you were in love?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hollowman View Post
Weird as it is, almost instantly I knew she was special, a week or so later I was madly in love (keep in mind we spent almost the entire week together talking, and I really mean all week, conversations of 8 hours on end and longer..) I know this is short and alot of people are probably going to think that can't be after a week, but that's how it is (and yes I have been in enough relationships before, but never fell in love this fast, it surprised me too...)
Haha, I'm the exact same. I knew within the first week (of spending lots of time together and on the phone) I was falling for my boyfriend hard, and then within the next few weeks I knew I was in love. Didn't say anything for several months though...
And it's super hard for me to get so attached to people, so I knew he had to be special.
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Unread January 1st, 2010, 11:22 PM   #13
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Default Re: When did you realize you were in love?

I realised I loved him when, after 3 years of him chasing me, he caught me by surprise as the fireworks went off on New Years Eve and asked me out... and I just said yes without even thinking about it. It was so naturally the right answer that I didn't even have to think. According to him, he knew ages before... he kept chasing me because he knew we would be special together :P he was right, I was just stubborn.
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Unread January 10th, 2010, 01:14 PM   #14
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Default Re: When did you realize you were in love?

I had an epiphany. I was at a party having a great time, and I thought to myself "I wish Greg were here." The thought was like a punch in the stomach, a "duh" moment. Greg and I were not dating at the time, we were just friends. I knew Greg was intersted in me, but I had no idea that I loved him back. I did. I do. I dumped my date, called Greg, and never looked back. We've been together for the past 6 years.

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Unread January 10th, 2010, 01:47 PM   #15
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Default Re: When did you realize you were in love?

About 2 months into our relationship, I knew - but didn't say it for a LONG time. We had been seeing each other for about a month and a half, we were together daily and he stayed over all the time, but we hadn't yet made our relationship official/exclusive (even though neither of us were seeing or interested in anyone else). I finally brought up that I wanted to be in a relationship, and shortly after we became exclusive I realized I loved him.

It took almost another 10 months before either of us said it, though - I was way too scared to say it first, because I was terrified he didn't feel the same way. We were nearing a year of being together (literally, days away haha), when I was getting increasingly down/upset that we hadn't said it yet, as I was SURE it meant he didn't feel that way when, one night after we got back from a trip to New York with friends, he said it... "I've loved you for the last 10 months"! Sooo all my worrying was for nothing - he was just as nervous, if not more than me, to say it (he's never been in love before)... We've been together for almost 2 years now (it will be 2 near the end of March).
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Unread January 11th, 2010, 11:54 AM   #16
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Default Re: When did you realize you were in love?

I knew I was in love with my boyfriend after about 2 weeks of seeing him. He did things for me that no other man would do. He made me his number one priority. Always found a way to come see me. We had talked about the "what ifs" with our relationship and honestly i thought nothing of it... but one night while we were in the shower together... we were kissing and i just looked up and told him i loved him. He didnt say it back right there but shortly after while he bed he told me he wanted to say it but i quickly brushed the words away cuz i was embarrassed. Oh well, we have now been together for over 9 months and its awesome!!
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Unread January 11th, 2010, 04:53 PM   #17
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Default Re: When did you realize you were in love?

The first time I truly realized I loved him was about two or three months into the relationship, the day after the first time we made love. Maybe that sounds corny but its true...

My mother claims I was in love with him long before, almost a year before after one of our failed attempts but I don't think so.. anyway, what difference does the time it happened make? We both love each other now, that's what counts
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Unread January 14th, 2010, 02:03 AM   #18
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Default Re: When did you realize you were in love?

I knew him for some time before we got together. Knew I was in love with him after about 6 months. We've been together almost 17months now... he hasn't said he loves me. Is that bad? He says all the time I'm the best girlfriend yadda yadda... he was married before and she cheated on him all the time. I'm far from that. And now for a fact he's the man I want to marry. How the heck do I get him to say he loves me? Should I say it first??
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Unread January 18th, 2010, 05:04 AM   #19
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Default Re: When did you realize you were in love?

Oddly enough after just a week.

It was when she told me how her ex had walked out on her after he had got her pregnant, and how the entire pregnancy had been a nightmare for her being on her own, already having a two year old and thinking her life was over.

I was so angry someone could have treated her like that and let her down so badly, I wanted to find him and punch his lights out. I felt the hurt and sadness she felt and wanted to make it all better, to show her that some men do behave with honour and decency. I wanted to protect her and make her happy, give her back the life she felt she lost, and most of all because I knew she deserved so much better and so much more from her life than she had been given.

At that point I knew I was hooked, I knew I loved her and I wasnt in control of those feelings anymore.
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Unread January 18th, 2010, 07:10 PM   #20
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Default Re: When did you realize you were in love?

Gosh I never knew what "love" was like because I had never been in a relationship. My boyfriend right now is my first so I had never said "I love you" to the opposite gender other than my family. Surprisingly my boyfriend Brian said it first to me. At that time I couldn't respond with the same emotions because I wasn't sure how. He actually said it to me before we were even together but he knew he loved me based on my personality towards him. I was in a "WOW" state when he said it because I was confused. I believed the words were real because he had broken up with his ex (also his fiancee at the time) for me. It just wasn't working out with them since she cheated on him and he felt like I was there for him so those words just came out so easily from him. As for me, it took me a while to say it, but then I started feeling his love for me each and everyday. Soon enough I started to find out what being loved, by someone of the opposite gender, was like. I wanted to give that love back so once I felt it, I said it back to him later on with a big smile on my face. It's a good feeling to love and be loved back. =]
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