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Unread November 20th, 2009, 12:38 PM   #1
halftheman
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Default My Girlfriend Wants Me To Masturbate

I have been dating my love for 7 months. We live, work, commute, sleep, eat, and date together. We have been talking about buying a house, getting married,and having 2 kids. This is it and we both know it. When we started dating the sex was amazing. We would go every day and sometimes 2-3 or more. We purchased toys (rings, swings, lubes & dress) We both decided that she would go on birth control pills. After a couple of weeks she complained of nausia and as a result was too sick to perform. We then decided to switch brandes of pills. The new pills made her breasts hurt and she totally lost her libido. We then decided to switch to the nuva ring and three weeks later I have seen little improvements (but should comment that she has no nausea). I had talked to her throughout this ordial and everytime I told her I wanted to at least try to go everynight. She would end up crying and I ended up feeling like I was forcing her. I love making love to her (its the best hours of my life) but I never want her to just have sex because I tell her I need to. I would rather make love when we both want to. Before I go too far I should tell you that we are both in our early 20's, she orgasms everytime we do, I perform lots of oral (2-3 times a week even though I get it in return 2-3 times a month), we are both really attractive (both mentally, physically and sexually) and there is really no sexual reason we should ever not be having intercourse. Anyways, I really wanted to marry this girl but the only thing I kept dwelling on is that fact that we currently only make love 2-3 times a week. I know in some cases that seems like a lot or that I may appear (when writing this) that I am selfish or some kind on sex addict. But I know far too well that as our lives get more complex we will have less time to spend alone. I just want to take advantage of this time in our lives (young, no kids, basically free) and at least look back and be able to tell myself that my wife was the sexiest thing in the world at that moment in space and time. I began to do a lot of research on male sex drive versus female and i understand that even though men have a constant need for sex wemon are more inclined to become sexually arroused only a quarter of that time. Last night we sat down and I told her that every man masturbates daily if not more. I confessed that I have been masturbating every day that we were not active and that I used nude pictures (taken recently at a playful time in our lovemaking) of her to get myself off. She told me that she could tell when I get pent up after 2 or 3 days and that she felt bad she could do nothing about it. She asked me if I would rather do it in front of her and that she could help me when she was into it. Or I could sit at the computer accross from her and look at those pictures if she wasen't. She felt this would be a bonding experience for the two of us and she stated that she loves to watch me cum. Of course I am completely on board with this idea and the fact that she loves me enough to except something that I thought was taboo for a loving relationship makes me even more attracted to her. She is the only one I think about and I always felt bad having to go behind her back to get myself off to...well her. In fact I have been waiting for tonight to see what happens and either way I am really excited. I was just wondering how common you guys and girls think this is. Can you knowledgable folks think of any reasons that this may cause problems.
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Unread November 20th, 2009, 05:59 PM   #2
jupiter
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Default Re: My Girlfriend Wants Me To Masturbate

Please, please, please: Use paragraphs next time. Your post is a chore to read because you spew everything out at once with no breaks. I'm surprised it isn't one long run-on sentence. :P

That said, birth control can have a large negative impact on a woman's libido (hormonal birth-controls). I'd suggest going (back to?) condoms and seeing how that effects her; judging by her extreme reactions to other birth control methods (nausea, sore nipples), I'd wager that whatever she is using (Nuva Ring I think is the last one you mentioned) is causing her decrease in sex drive.

Chemically, birth control tricks a woman's body into believe it's pregnant (basically), and a lot of women react differently to the change in hormones and their respective levels (some women experience an increase in sex drive, some lose their libido all together).

Have her talk to her doctor about it; if it's still an issue with the current "solution" (masturbating in front of her), stop using chemical/hormonal birth control.

Conversely, she could just need a break from so much sex.
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Unread November 20th, 2009, 09:29 PM   #3
MrZurf
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Default Re: My Girlfriend Wants Me To Masturbate

Yeah, my and my current gf are not having sex at the moment because she wants to wait until she's on b/c. I generally play with her and do tons of foreplay and get her off, sometimes we both stimulate each other. Aside from that note... sometimes she says she's been getting too much lately and she just likes to watch me have it by myself and she watches. Maybe your gf just likes that kind of thing. I asked my gf why she likes to watch me masturbate and her do nothing. I was informed that she uses that image to get herself off with when she's in the mood and I'm not around.

Some girls are really into watching it. That, and it is a form of bonding. You should try actually just looking at her clothed and be able to beat it. I know it sounds strange... but think of it this way. Would you be turned on if she played with herself while thinking about and watching other men? I don't mean to be offensive... but sometimes just making eye contact and talking to each other while intimacy is going on (even if it's solo) is important. I actually like the person I'm with to know I'm focused on them, not some other person in my head/on my computer screen (no offense - honestly). Have you thought of it this way? Maybe it makes things even more intimate because she's making you wait and it gets her hyped? *shrugs. Anywho, I hope this helps a bit.
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Unread November 21st, 2009, 11:06 AM   #4
halftheman
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Default Re: My Girlfriend Wants Me To Masturbate

Hey guys,
First of alll, thanks for the replys. I wanted to tell everyone that we tried the masturbation thing last night with great success. I almost suspected that she had forgot about our little arrangment but, I was too nervous to bring it up. As we climbed into bed for the night, she strated to caress my thigh. She then proceeded to stroke my almost always raging erection. I gave her a little instruction on getting me off quick and easy, but found it a little difficult to focus on my orgasm.

After ten minutes she gently asked me if I wanted to finish myself off. She stayed close to me hugging me and kissing me as I stroked. I still found my orgasm a little complex to acheive even as I stroked. As you can understand It puts a little more pressure on a person than just a solo mission alone. It wasen't until she started rubbing her vagina up against my thy and detailing our previous sexual adventures that I really started to get into it. She would say things like "I love watching you stroke that hard cock" and "how much she loved when it slipped into her tight wet pussy (even though she didn't want it tonight)". I lost it before she even finished her first paragraph.

Afterwords we just cuddled and I told her how great the experience had been for me and how I would love to give her a back rub until she fell alseep in return for helping me release. She was very pleased and I have to say that this experience was different but almost equally as satisfing as having her vaginally.

I did want to comment to MrZurf that she was wearing a robe and we were under a blanket so, I couldn't see anything but her face. This is the way I wanted it to be in the first place. The naked pictures that I was previously getting off to were of her (a playful night we had with our new camera). I only think about her when making love and when I was previously alone I was fantiszing about other times we had together. I completly understand that waiting for her would be the best course of action but, before I met her I didn't go a day without getting off. After a day of no release I really start to get a little aggitated even at her (I know thats really fucked up but I have entered a sexual peak that honestly is driving me crazy).

In closing, I would have to say that masturbating in this way was a little trickier. I normally don't ask for attention in life and when she only focuses on me getting myself off it becomes just a tad embarrassing.
But with her help she completetly relaxed me and I believe with a little practice I could get good at this. I just fear that it may become a chore for her, if as I do, want to make this an every night activity. Thanks for the comments guys.
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Unread November 22nd, 2009, 06:50 PM   #5
belly22
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Default Re: My Girlfriend Wants Me To Masturbate

Quote:
Originally Posted by halftheman View Post
I have been dating my love for 7 months. We live, work, commute, sleep, eat, and date together. We have been talking about buying a house, getting married,and having 2 kids. This is it and we both know it. When we started dating the sex was amazing. We would go every day and sometimes 2-3 or more. We purchased toys (rings, swings, lubes & dress) We both decided that she would go on birth control pills. After a couple of weeks she complained of nausia and as a result was too sick to perform. We then decided to switch brandes of pills. The new pills made her breasts hurt and she totally lost her libido. We then decided to switch to the nuva ring and three weeks later I have seen little improvements (but should comment that she has no nausea). I had talked to her throughout this ordial and everytime I told her I wanted to at least try to go everynight. She would end up crying and I ended up feeling like I was forcing her. I love making love to her (its the best hours of my life) but I never want her to just have sex because I tell her I need to. I would rather make love when we both want to. Before I go too far I should tell you that we are both in our early 20's, she orgasms everytime we do, I perform lots of oral (2-3 times a week even though I get it in return 2-3 times a month), we are both really attractive (both mentally, physically and sexually) and there is really no sexual reason we should ever not be having intercourse. Anyways, I really wanted to marry this girl but the only thing I kept dwelling on is that fact that we currently only make love 2-3 times a week. I know in some cases that seems like a lot or that I may appear (when writing this) that I am selfish or some kind on sex addict. But I know far too well that as our lives get more complex we will have less time to spend alone. I just want to take advantage of this time in our lives (young, no kids, basically free) and at least look back and be able to tell myself that my wife was the sexiest thing in the world at that moment in space and time. I began to do a lot of research on male sex drive versus female and i understand that even though men have a constant need for sex wemon are more inclined to become sexually arroused only a quarter of that time. Last night we sat down and I told her that every man masturbates daily if not more. I confessed that I have been masturbating every day that we were not active and that I used nude pictures (taken recently at a playful time in our lovemaking) of her to get myself off. She told me that she could tell when I get pent up after 2 or 3 days and that she felt bad she could do nothing about it. She asked me if I would rather do it in front of her and that she could help me when she was into it. Or I could sit at the computer accross from her and look at those pictures if she wasen't. She felt this would be a bonding experience for the two of us and she stated that she loves to watch me cum. Of course I am completely on board with this idea and the fact that she loves me enough to except something that I thought was taboo for a loving relationship makes me even more attracted to her. She is the only one I think about and I always felt bad having to go behind her back to get myself off to...well her. In fact I have been waiting for tonight to see what happens and either way I am really excited. I was just wondering how common you guys and girls think this is. Can you knowledgable folks think of any reasons that this may cause problems.
Go for it. She may be trying to tell you she has a fetish with it and does not know how to tell you. I DARE you to ask her if she wanted to discuss cuckolding. She might be leading to that...watching him masturbate is the beginning to it.
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