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Friends & Family A forum for the non-romantic relationships in all our lives - the ones with our friends and family.

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Unread October 15th, 2009, 06:14 PM   #1
sue
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Join Date: July 15th, 2009
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Default toxic adult children why cant they be more sane?

why cant adult children just be normal calm communicate instead of doing crazy things .

i have noone in my family besides myself who is a wise voice trying to get people to calm down, get along, communicate, resolve things, or ignore things, or take time out, all necesary to have reasonably happy working families.

i have crazy people who inflame things, go to crazy extrems for the slightest thing, have crisis that ' need' all sorts of extremes of support, then will kick you in the face at the slightest thing or because they are troubled after you have just gone to such lenths in so many ways for them.

when is enough enough enough enough enough.

dr phil says how people have to be gracious find ways to get on that you never know when suddenly one of you wont be around and how bad the other will feel

i wish i could just tell them, talk , appreciate , take time out, ignore , get counselling on your own or together, resolve things or ignore things and try to get on.

how many others are happy when others cut off from them because it gives them some peace to get on with their own lives for a change much as we wish we could ge that without family rifts.

they have seen they can abuse me and noone stands up for me they get away with it and they do at the slightest thing

they would never treat others like that

and if there are issues lets talk and all learn something instead of creating mroe dramas or rifts.

when they want me back in their life this time i dont think i will reenter such a toxic space again or a space that has such a capacity to have so much betrayal drama toxicity at the slightest thing instead of more adult talking resolving counselling ignoring time out - all skills needing to get on and make families work.

it went well this year it seemed people working together, and then suddenly every body is fighting and creating rifts when they just could use skills like, communicate, resolve, counselling, time out, ignore, find ways to get alone or resolve things.

so much was demanded of me this year that sometimes rifts give me some time for my own life finally.
rifts are avoidable and if they are going to be created then i might just find other things to devote my life to than ungrateful troubled adult children who will kick you in the face at the slightest thing after you have gone to such extremes for them.

i have choices to
not go back into their lives when they finally calm down and want love need me. find other things in my life after devoting myself to my children for 3 decades.

go back with conditions or counselling first because i'm sick of being kicked in the face and around their dramas that are so unnecesary.

realise they are troubled, but still want counselling with them, before deciding if i want to be around such people.
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