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Unread March 7th, 2009, 08:02 PM   #1
mrtypr
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Default Need to learn how not to be a push over

Hey guys

Im a 26 year old male. I think im pretty good looking as well (without being stuck up lol) And i just have the worst luck with keeping a girl long enough to get it to turn into a relationship. My female friends tell me I am too nice sometimes. And i know this is bad. Thing is i dont know how to be not nice i say and do what i feel. I need to somehow learn not to be a push over. I need to harden up. Because I meet women, go out with them for like a few weeks to a month then I get dumped, and this is getting very regular, which i dont think is normal. Any advice how not to be a push over? Even from a girls point of view would be great.

I did some google searching, i found a little bit of info about it. It was saying basically, first set your own standerds on what you want, and how you want to be treated, and stick by them. I was thinking of starting by doing that. If i dont like what i see or how she is treating me. Ill put it straight to her... and be firm on it.

Any other advice?
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Unread March 8th, 2009, 12:20 AM   #2
Kuky
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Default Re: Need to learn how not to be a push over

That's pretty much it. It keeps getting repeated, but treat her as human. She's not above the law, and should treat you with respect. Don't let her get away with things you wouldn't let others get away with just because you want into her pants.
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Unread March 8th, 2009, 06:57 AM   #3
zofia-life-coach
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Default Re: Need to learn how not to be a push over

The key is not to be there for her every time she wants you. Do not fall in a trap of making her the CENTER of your world because then you start sending a needy, desperate “vibe” that feels suffocating to her. People can sense desperation very quickly and if they do they loose they interest very quickly.
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Unread March 8th, 2009, 11:38 AM   #4
rodgerjones2
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Default Re: Need to learn how not to be a push over

Shy girls.
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Unread March 9th, 2009, 01:30 AM   #5
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Default Re: Need to learn how not to be a push over

Getting dumped appears to be the norm. These days, with the proliferation of choices, people, both men and women are more selective then ever.

Not every girl is going to put you into a situation where you need to push back. Increasing your assertiveness may not lead to better results and is not a necessary condition for having a girlfriend.

The whole "nice guys don't get girls" stereotype is often misunderstood. Jerks get girls, not because they're jerks, its because they have testosterone which leads to other attractive traits: broader shoulders, deeper voice, taller, more athletic, more aggressive, more resilient, more hair.

Apropos the aforementioned assertiveness is only one of many traits that make a man attractive.
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