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Down in the Dumps Breaking up is a difficult time. How does it go? Denial, Anger, acceptance? No... that's not it. Come to this forum to find out what it's really like.

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Unread January 15th, 2009, 06:58 PM   #1
jmah
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Default Why do some people feel the need to jump from one relationship to another?

It’s as though they have to be with someone, and when that doesn’t work, they move right onto the next; not giving themselves any “alone time”.
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Unread January 15th, 2009, 07:19 PM   #2
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Default Re: Why do some people feel the need to jump from one relationship to another?

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Originally Posted by jmah View Post
It’s as though they have to be with someone, and when that doesn’t work, they move right onto the next; not giving themselves any “alone time”.
Because they are hurt, or insecure, or very vulnerable, they have to have the need of being in an relationship so they can lick the wounds they were dealt, in my opinion.
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Unread January 15th, 2009, 07:47 PM   #3
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Default Re: Why do some people feel the need to jump from one relationship to another?

It may depend on alot of reasons, it is hard to deal with this question in the hypothetical. How does this kind of thing relate to your life.
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Unread January 15th, 2009, 08:24 PM   #4
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Default Re: Why do some people feel the need to jump from one relationship to another?

Some people cannot stand to be alone and must have the intimate bond of a relationship. That intimacy is usually more important than choosing the right person.
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Unread January 15th, 2009, 10:57 PM   #5
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Default Re: Why do some people feel the need to jump from one relationship to another?

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Originally Posted by Pailix View Post
Because they are hurt, or insecure, or very vulnerable, they have to have the need of being in an relationship so they can lick the wounds they were dealt, in my opinion.

This is what I was going to say, generally people hop or "rebound" to another relationship because its there way of getting over somewhere. By changing people, they develop new feelings for them, and since theres only room for so much the old exit.
Everyone has there way to stop feelings for someone, for me the best way is just time, but not everyone has that.
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Unread January 15th, 2009, 11:57 PM   #6
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Default Re: Why do some people feel the need to jump from one relationship to another?

to be honest and to speak from experience, its a mixture of insecureness, lonelyness, hurt and upset...


lets say for me, what started it was years ago when i was in a year long relationship, i felt hurt when it ended, was truly devestated, but what helped was a week after started talking to new girls as friends, then 2 weeks on, i got with 1 of them partly cause it was a rebound thing but mainly cause it helped me forget about the other girl and the fact that i liked that girl,


then we ended a while later, and once again i did the same thing as before...


now i have been single 3 months :O... the longest time iv been single in about 4 years+.... and i am feeling it bad, like missing the last x more that i would with any others



i think it depends, if someone was in a long relationship and truly loved that person, the it ended and they moved into the next relationship, then it would posibly be a rebound thing/helping them forget and feel better

if the previous relationship wasnt a long 1 and the didnt truly love the person then it would be a "oh that didnt work, but i am ready for a relationship" kind of thing
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Unread January 16th, 2009, 12:42 AM   #7
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Default Re: Why do some people feel the need to jump from one relationship to another?

I seriously do not get it, do they like the "break up" after every relationship? I see alot of these people, they're so happy when they're with someone, but at the same time they do not care so much since it's just "rebound" and not any real feeling.
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Unread January 16th, 2009, 12:50 AM   #8
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Default Re: Why do some people feel the need to jump from one relationship to another?

some people are just so desperate they'll take anything...

I know a girl who is so lonely, insecure, and generally blank, that she's slept with about three men on their first or second dates. Naturally, this didn't help her situation at all. Now she's dating some guy who just uses her for sex, and she;s content with it because she just doesn't know better. After her breakup though, she'll take anything I'm sure.

It's all to do with insecurity and not knowing what you want. When you know what you want, and you know you're worth it, you wait even if it's hard, for that next good thing to come along instead of just jumping on anyone who will give you time of day.

my opinion only
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Unread January 16th, 2009, 02:02 AM   #9
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Default Re: Why do some people feel the need to jump from one relationship to another?

Some people fear loneliness more than being miserable. It's kind of like how people fear public speaking more than they fear death.
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Unread January 16th, 2009, 09:09 AM   #10
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Default Re: Why do some people feel the need to jump from one relationship to another?

Quote:
Originally Posted by jmah View Post
It’s as though they have to be with someone, and when that doesn’t work, they move right onto the next; not giving themselves any “alone time”.
its called a rebound haha, normally its not really a looking for a relationship the partner that you speak of has broken up and left into another one straight away... Unfortunately the receiving party that is the rebound victim doesnt know any of their new found loves intentions, if the re-bound person has a brain/heart, they wont stay with the victim for a long period of time, just enough time to enjoy themselves sexually.
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Unread January 16th, 2009, 11:19 AM   #11
jmah
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Default Re: Why do some people feel the need to jump from one relationship to another?

"It's all to do with insecurity and not knowing what you want."

I agree. I remember certain times throughout the relationship she had this strong fear that I was going to hurt her (leave her/cheat on her). She (unbenownst to me) had many issues (she kept a lot inside) and was afraid to open up to me about them; out of fear that she would scare me away. She still won't tell me about them. She would also say things like 'you're going to find my ways annoying at some point, I'm sure", and was worried that she was going to be "too clingy", and that she wasn't mature enough for me. She also said that at the very end after we had broken up, that she didn't think that she deserved me. Low self-esteem, seeking security and wanting to feel loved/wanted all came into play, I think. As soon as things weren't perfect between her and I, she went back to her ex. Apparently, she still had a strong emotional tie with her ex (the ex her repeatedly treated her badly in the past (emotional abuse)). The ex whom recently was 'reformed' and wanting my g/f back so desperately and whom went out of her way to prove that she had changed her ways (although, they're still fighting and according to my ex "not working on things"). There's a huge co-dependency thing between the two. I think that even though she did care about me, all that I provided at the time was a bit of security..

I've been played for a fool and it's hurt like a bitch.
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