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Unread March 23rd, 2008, 10:46 PM   #1
Bill_OReilly
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Default When the wife is withholding sex and the consequences

Please find below the link for the story I'm referencing:

http://blogs.news.com.au/bossy/index...a_double_life/

Marriage is a commitment that requires both love and hard work to make it last. Unfortunately, the wife in question has denied her husband sexual relations for 6 years! Sex is a vital aspect of marriage and should be something that benefits both parties, not used as a tool to gain power over another person.

The wife in this situation is clearly in the wrong here. The least she could have done is talk about her feelings but instead, she's taken the path of denying sex as the solution to the problem when in reality, she's made the situation worse.

While I don't condone the husband's course of action to remedy this issue, the truth of the matter is simple. When you've entered a marriage where a vital part of it is missing, a person will go elsewhere to find the fulfillment they need.

This is a brilliant example of how feminism has degenerated into a fascists movement that promotes women as doing whatever they please with no regard to their partners and that men as expendable assets.

And we have the venomous propaganda of "Sex and the City" and the nonsensical warblings of Beyonce et al for insulting our collective intelligence.
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Unread March 24th, 2008, 12:01 AM   #2
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Default Re: When the wife is withholding sex and the consequences

Marriage does require love and hard work to make it work HOWEVER, I have to disagree with you on the fact that she was attempting to use sex to overpower her husband.

There is NO evidence of why their sex life went down hill. Perhaps every time he approached her, she was on her period, or perhaps she had problems during child birth. Maybe she did not feel comfortable in her own body. Maybe she felt her marriage was going down hill anyways. Maybe she was in the middle of a mid-life crisis.

The husband cheated on her and lied about it for the sake of the child. That to me is completely FUCKED UP.

How is this an example of feminism? It's not a fascist movement that promotes women as doing whatever they please with no regard to their partners or that men are expendable assets.

Feminism from a political aspect has achieved such things as our right to power over OUR bodies in a reproductive standpoint. It has offered a discussion and idea of protection over being overpowered by males for sexual intercourse and abuse (either physical, mental, or verbal.) It has also offered us rights with workplace equality.

Men do the same thing to women as well. They can withhold sex for as long as they please.

For example, my boyfriend and I have a very healthy sex relationship. However, lately, I had a doctor's appointment and in order to not contaminate my pap smear, I could not have sex that week. After that, my work schedule changed and we hardly saw each other. Then I got an ingrown hair and it was painful to the touch. We did not have sex for 4 weeks. It was not the fact that I was withholding on purpose, I was withholding for legitamite reasons.

I think that you are blinded by the reason of perhaps she had/has other issues going on in her life that might have caused her to not feel comfortable enough to get naked with her husband.
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Unread March 24th, 2008, 12:48 AM   #3
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Default Re: When the wife is withholding sex and the consequences

Thank you JB for making such an eloquent and levelheaded point about feminism. I just want to add that there is no evidence that his wife is withholding sex because she wants to have power over him; clearly he does not even know why she is withholding sex so you cannot definitively say that this is a case of a feminist wanting to have power over men (I won't start on how misinformed that opinion of feminism). What's more, the man in question did an amazing job of not falling under her power; as far as I can tell he took control of his own fate and got himself a mistress.

Now, whether of not that was right is a whole other matter. No, I do not think he should have taken a mistress to solve this problem, though it does look like he exhausted all other solutions from his post. It sounds like his wife has a reason to withhold sex and that there is more to the whole situation than he is letting on. He is very quick to make it sound like he is a great guy and completely blameless but there is another side to the story, his wife's. From his account she does sound like a frigid bitch, but frigidity often has a reason, be it legitimate or not.

I think he may have achieved better results if he had either gone to a marriage counseller or if he had actually full out left for a while. If his wife is being the way he describes then moving out may have made her realize the full reprecussions of her behavior. Of course, sex is not the full basis of a relationship, but her reluctance to work with her husband to find a solution to a legitimate problem is. Staying with his wife for the sake of his son is foolish and selfish, and would probably hurt the kid more in the long run. Being open about his mistress won't help either because it will just make his wife more bitter and confuse his son.

All in all, he should grow a pair and really take action that isn't based on deception.
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Unread March 24th, 2008, 06:31 AM   #4
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Default Re: When the wife is withholding sex and the consequences

How can you possibly link the actions of the wife with feminism and draw such conclusions? Even if she was a feminist, there are PLENTY of women, feminist or not, that enjoy sex and actively seek it in relationships. People who control relationships through something like sex (or anything for that matter) and think that makes for a balanced relationship should be shot. Plain and simple.
This is an extreme example, but all you will do by linking it to feminism is start a flame war.
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Unread March 24th, 2008, 12:25 PM   #5
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Smile Re: When the wife is withholding sex and the consequences

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bill_OReilly View Post
Please find below the link for the story I'm referencing:


This is a brilliant example of how feminism has degenerated into a fascists movement that promotes women as doing whatever they please with no regard to their partners and that men as expendable assets.

And we have the venomous propaganda of "Sex and the City" and the nonsensical warblings of Beyonce et al for insulting our collective intelligence.
I don't know what Beyonce did, but I do not agree with you that feminism is a bad thing. Women needed equal rights and if that means that we get to be the selfish assholes once in a while then that's what equality is all about. I can turn right around and say thank god for feminism because now women don't have to put up with physically or emotionally abusive husbands anymore. I have always been friends with older people, even people in their seventies whom lived through the perfect era of the fifties and many of the women that I talked to were severely abused, but hid it so that they would not be embarrassed socially. Men made women believe that they were worthless and that no one would help them.

Also, any interaction between a man and a woman, is between, a man and a woman. Not all men would cheat in that situation, and not all women would treat their husband's like that.

It sounds to me that you have some type of insecurity when it comes to the fairer of the sexes.

Back to the man and wife. Ultimately there is one point and one point only that I need to make:

THERE ARE THREE SIDES TO EVERY STORY:

HIS
HERS
AND THE TRUTH!
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Unread March 29th, 2008, 03:08 PM   #6
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Default Re: When the wife is withholding sex and the consequences

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Originally Posted by Jenibear View Post
There is NO evidence of why their sex life went down hill. Perhaps every time he approached her, she was on her period, or perhaps she had problems .
Wow Jen 6 years of attempting sex and EACH and EVERY time she just happened to be on her period. sorry to make light of that but it made me laugh.

We dont have the whole story as to why she was "witholding" but its dangerous to make blanket statements like women are fascists etc. Who knows the root of those problems. Usually a lack of sex is merely a symptom of a deeply rooted problem in a marriage that cant be fixed by merely having sex.
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Unread March 30th, 2008, 02:42 AM   #7
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Default Re: When the wife is withholding sex and the consequences

I think this story does not give enough information to draw any conclusions. First, he never said why she was witholding sex. If he didn't know why...then that shows a lack of communication. If he knew and didn't want to say why...then i don't think he would have wrote the article.

He would just know what was wrong and find a way to get past it.

I agree with Brad. I do not think that women are trying to control men by not having sex...there was something wrong here. Maybe she failed to communicate it...which shows there was a problem with the marriage before the lack of sex.

I think they are both at fault...she didn't let him realize what was wrong, and he chose an easy, selfish way of dealing with it.
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Unread March 30th, 2008, 09:02 AM   #8
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Default Re: When the wife is withholding sex and the consequences

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brad View Post
Wow Jen 6 years of attempting sex and EACH and EVERY time she just happened to be on her period. sorry to make light of that but it made me laugh.
I'm just saying maybe he picked the wrong time each time in those 6 years. You have 7 days of bleeding. He could have asked her on the 1st of April and she says no. If he is not observant he could have asked her on the 1st of May. Know what I mean? I'm not saying every SINGLE time but depending on when he asked she could have been on it. Plus, some woman can have periods for two weeks but as the most of the other people posting, there is no evidence of what it was that caused the withholding.


I'm pretty sure the guy would have said "she won't give me sex unless I give her a foot rub." That's a whole different problem. He went to this blog for advice on how to not hurt his wife and his mistress.
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Unread March 30th, 2008, 09:12 AM   #9
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Default Re: When the wife is withholding sex and the consequences

Lol, I can't help but laugh at what you said Jeni. The first bit...having the guy ask every time she's on her period is just a weeee bit far-fetched. Either that, or that is one clueless guy right there.
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Unread March 30th, 2008, 05:16 PM   #10
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Default Re: When the wife is withholding sex and the consequences

lol I'd like to think they are clueless cause my boyfriend is a moron and ALWAYS ALWAYS starts to beg for sex like two days before I start my period.
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Unread March 30th, 2008, 08:25 PM   #11
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Default Re: When the wife is withholding sex and the consequences

Some say that the time right before a girl's period that she's the horniest. This does make sense in terms of evolution where the egg will be discarded in a few, so why not make the girl want sex even more? I found this to be true for my ex's, and they even said they had stronger and better orgasms. BUT...tread carefully, those men who read this...It is also the time where she's the most volatile, and might rip your nuts off
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Unread March 31st, 2008, 11:05 AM   #12
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Default Re: When the wife is withholding sex and the consequences

LMFAO!!!! I think men get more horny when women are on their periods because of the pheromones... yeah.. I had to get scientific..
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