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Unread April 4th, 2012, 03:56 AM   #1
Riskbreaker
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Default Met a wonderful woman, had a great date...now, she's ignoring me?

Hello folks, decided to actually make an account here to ask what you all think might be going on. I work as a limo driver, and recentely I met this beautiful woman while driver her group. To make this story short, when I dropped her and her group off, I was invited up, had a few drinks, got her number and even had her pull me in for a kiss(wasn't really thinking of going for it until I got to meet her outside of my work hours). Anyways, we went on a date a few days later, and and both of us enjoyed our time(I know I did, and she seemed to as well, and even sent me a text saying as much after I dropped her off). Flash forward to more recentely and I gave her a call to set up another date and she didn't pick up, so instead of leaving a voice mail I just sent her a text, and I have not heard from her since.

This is odd because of how she came off to me. She expressed that she was very honest(I know everyone says this), and definitely seemed interested until now. Any ideas here? I thought she was quite striking, don't think I ever met anyone I've enjoyed their company so much in such a short time span. I am completely lost in what I could have done wrong here. Should I keep trying? Wait a few days? Any advice on what NOT to do? Ask questions if it will help understand the situation better.

Thanks in advance for all helpful replies.
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Unread April 4th, 2012, 06:17 AM   #2
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Default Re: Met a wonderful woman, had a great date...now, she's ignoring me?

How many days ago was this text? I would probably try one more time before moving on. This time leave a brief voicemail.
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Unread April 4th, 2012, 11:20 AM   #3
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Default Re: Met a wonderful woman, had a great date...now, she's ignoring me?

I agree with Dagwood. It depends how soon after your first date you tried contacting her. Sometimes emergencies pop up or thier busy and completely space the text. Sometimes the text may not have gone through. many possibilities so i wouldnt worry about it too much. Worst case scenario she has a boyfriend and was just out for a spontanious fling. I would give it a week or so and try calling one last time and leave a voicemail. just keep it short. let her know that you enjoyed the last date and wanted to set something else up soon and hope to hear from her. Short and sweet.
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Unread April 4th, 2012, 12:36 PM   #4
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Default Re: Met a wonderful woman, had a great date...now, she's ignoring me?

It was about 1 day after the date, I asked how she was doing and if she'd be available the following day. I know a few things about her from the first date. She is single, and was divorced before. She said she remembered me from a month before I met her, when she went to my office to rent the Limo. I do not remember seeing her there, but I was working. She does work two jobs, so she's busy. She did reply today, saying she was asleep when I called/texted so I may just be nervous cause she's so damn great. She did mention I was the first guy that she dated, that picked her up at her house. I just don't want to seem as eager as I really am and end up scaring her away, but at the same time that could be mistaken for lack of interest.

Thanks for the replies so far.
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Unread April 4th, 2012, 01:05 PM   #5
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Default Re: Met a wonderful woman, had a great date...now, she's ignoring me?

def do not be tooo eager. So how did the rest of the conversation go? Is there another planned date? Remember, keep your cool. Be a challenge atleast a little bit. You want her to chase you a bit too and if she feels she has to than your obviously worth it to her.

oh and also you said you contacted her the next day after the date. thats a bit too soon man after a first. give it a couple days. i know this waiting game sucks at times when your really interested in someone but in my experiance it does play a role and is important.
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Unread April 4th, 2012, 01:26 PM   #6
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Default Re: Met a wonderful woman, had a great date...now, she's ignoring me?

When did you send that text (time of day). Anyways what's done thus far is done. And what drew said, how did the rest of the convo go?
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Unread April 4th, 2012, 01:34 PM   #7
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Default Re: Met a wonderful woman, had a great date...now, she's ignoring me?

Well after I got her message telling me she was asleep, asked what did I have in mind, which I then asked her if she'd have some time off this week, she hasn't said anything back yet. The reason I kinda messaged her so soon is because I work weekends and my day off was today, and I'd hate to wait until all the way until next week to see her again. My job gives me a schedule that is impossible to plan for except for the one day of the week.
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Unread April 4th, 2012, 01:38 PM   #8
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Default Re: Met a wonderful woman, had a great date...now, she's ignoring me?

Sit back and wait for the response. Not literally, have fun in the interim. You are both interested, so you aren't running against a timeline...don't rush it.
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Unread April 4th, 2012, 03:10 PM   #9
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Default Re: Met a wonderful woman, had a great date...now, she's ignoring me?

If shes interested she will make it soo. Just go on livin your life and what i like to do when im interested in someone is visualize and feel that its a done deal and i already have them. Usually works.
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Unread April 11th, 2012, 02:10 AM   #10
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Default Re: Met a wonderful woman, had a great date...now, she's ignoring me?

So we ended up going on a second date last week, and it was pretty great. She couldn't stop talking or laughing the whole night. She chose somewhere to go this time, since I picked the location of the first date. I picked her up as usual, and stayed at the bar until it closed, and then I drove back to her house, where we proceded to talk some more and then make out for quite a bit, and quite intensely. Everything seemed great and all my worries seemed like I just panicked. I didn't see her over the weekend, and we didn't contact each other on Monday. Come today, she reaches out to me and tries to set something up, so we decided that tonight we should head out. Come about 1 hour before the date, and she cancels. I tell her that's a shame and that we were going somewhere I really thought she'd like. She cancelled because she had a "fever". She said she would see how she felt tomorrow and contact me back.

Well, I don't buy it. I'm pretty sure she's no longer interested because that's not even a good excuse. She did apologize alont, and said she hates cancelling and really wanted to see me but I think I'm done here. Unless she contacts me anyways, I doubt. Maybe it's the wrong attitude to have, but I don't want to get attached to this if it's not going to pan out.

Any insight? It seems odd....the dates themselves went great, she said so herself multiple times and seemed visibly that she was having fun. I can see if she was looking at the time a lot, or not talking, or laughing. Or if she resisted any advance of mine to touch or kisss her....but she didn't. Not even once. And makes her own attempts to make contact.
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Unread April 11th, 2012, 08:15 AM   #11
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Default Re: Met a wonderful woman, had a great date...now, she's ignoring me?

Though it is odd to setup and cancel a date in the same day, it is unfair to assume she is lying so quickly. Your response probably wasn't the best either, she could have definitely been guilt ridden by it.

You do have the wrong attitude at this point in time and I would give it another week before moving on.
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Unread April 11th, 2012, 09:27 AM   #12
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Default Re: Met a wonderful woman, had a great date...now, she's ignoring me?

Dude, give her the benefit of the doubt or at least a week to make a judgment call. You're being way too paranoid again.

For context, I came down with a nasty cold on my boyfriends and my first date. We were out for about five hours total, and were I to come down with it a few hours sooner I would have canceled.
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Unread April 11th, 2012, 10:10 AM   #13
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Default Re: Met a wonderful woman, had a great date...now, she's ignoring me?

Wait, my response was bad you think? I said I was disapointed, and that I had picked quite a nice place to go, but that I understood. We exchanged messages back and forth for a little and I wished her to get better and good night. Not sure how else I could haven handled it without sounding either like a sour grape or a carpet. I guess I should mention she is older than me, and makes more money then me(she never makes this seem like an issue but who knows). She doesn't seem to like people buying drinks for her, and constantly says how "brutally honest" she is(haha, I've heard this a million times, usually by people who lie a lot). Personally, I guess I'm just not going to think about it anymore, and in a week I'll try and contact her again. Though not even sure if I should do that, since I don't even know where to take the message....after a week it's obvious there is no interest, why bother? Wouldn't I just seem desperate?
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Unread April 11th, 2012, 10:18 AM   #14
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Default Re: Met a wonderful woman, had a great date...now, she's ignoring me?

A more appropriate respond would have been something that acknowledged her sickness, and not addressed your own feelings. Such as "Oh no, I am sorry to hear. I hope you feel better! We can always reschedule."

I bet she took you being disappointed as "damnit, why did you have to get sick, I planned this stuff for nothing"

I recommend checking up on her in a few days. Just send a message and ask how she is doing. Don't talk about the next date or anything.
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Unread April 11th, 2012, 11:06 AM   #15
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Default Re: Met a wonderful woman, had a great date...now, she's ignoring me?

Riskbreaker your overthinking and overreacting to the point that YOU will ruin this. Now dont get me wrong i understand how your feeling. ive over thought things and or worried when i really liked a girl too but the ones that i did that with i ended up losing eventually. You need to just sit back and not think so much about everything and if she is lying or not and take it as it is. Cool and casual.

A good response would have been "Im sorry your not feeling well but completely understand. We will reschedule when you feel better. Get some good rest and talk to you soon". You shouldnt have even mentioned about the place cause it may have sounded a bit like "damn you ruined our plans". She is the one that initiated the plan at first regardless of cancelling. People get sick so stop over analyzing it. Shit happens. Dont plan on givin up right away or giving a time line. Dating is all best guess and just taking it slow to get to know each other. Youve only been on 2 dates. Relax! Hit her up later today or tomorrow really short text or something telling her you hope she is feelling better and have a good day or night.
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Unread April 11th, 2012, 05:08 PM   #16
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Default Re: Met a wonderful woman, had a great date...now, she's ignoring me?

I'd say stop being so emotional. You clearly don't date often or have long lasting relationships. If you do, I'd be surprised. You need to learn that she has her own life. You don't know what she does, and at this point it's not a concern. Give it more time and those things well then come in to play. Being a nice guy is a good thing, but don't overwhelm her. And if she says she's sick? Then why are you being selfish? Please think about it, seriously. You can recover from that. Send her a message asking her how she feels. Don't over step boundaries and bring her something to sooth her pain, I feel you're the type to do that. It is sweet, but too early. Just settle yourself a little. Take it slower, and don't think about her too much.
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Unread April 11th, 2012, 09:44 PM   #17
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Default Re: Met a wonderful woman, had a great date...now, she's ignoring me?

Thanks a lot for the replies guys, lesson learned(I hope).
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