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Unread February 16th, 2012, 09:05 PM   #1
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Default insecurities ruining my life

I'm 20. I have been insecure about my body ever since i can remember. Im not overweight, actually kind of underweight. the problem is my size. im pretty small "up there". and i feel like it's ruining my life. Im married, and when i got the courage to bring it up my husband said it wasn't that important to him, and that i didn't have to get a boob job. But i just can't get over the fact that im probably smaller than 95% of women out there. ive tried gaining weight, try all the time, but my metabolism is too high. i don't have kids yet. I was thinking about a boob job, but it seems like a lot of risk, money, and pain. I don't like being naked that much, and i feel insecure when i have sex because i look too small. He says i look fine, but he might just be saying that to be nice. also, he's not very sexual, which is the effect of medications he used to take, and that just adds up to me feeling insecure and unwanted. it's just to the point of insanity. like, i can't stand seeing a movie with him with boobs in it, because i don't have any. i realize this is too much, but i can't help it. so what do i do?
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Unread February 16th, 2012, 10:19 PM   #2
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Default Re: insecurities ruining my life

Well you either find some way to deal with your insecurities regarding your breast size, or you see a specialist that can ally your fears of getting a boob job.

Have you ever spoken to a professional about your insecurities?
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Unread February 17th, 2012, 05:13 AM   #3
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Default Re: insecurities ruining my life

nope, can't afford one
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Unread February 17th, 2012, 05:41 AM   #4
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Default Re: insecurities ruining my life

my girlfriend is a 10A (Aussie sizes), barely a handful and I LOVE it.

If that helps at all
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Unread February 17th, 2012, 10:19 AM   #5
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Default Re: insecurities ruining my life

Hey girl, let me talk to you from a girls point of view.

I used to have 38DD and hated it. Big boobs are severely overrated, and get in the way more than help with anything. The only way not to have cleavage would be to wear a turtle neck. Tight tee shirts? Forget it, they just show off the size too. The majority of men would talk to them instead of me (I don't fault the ones who actually try to talk to my face) and it becomes the topic of conversation a lot. Over time they take a toll on your back and you find you can't stand up for long periods of time. Not only that, but when you're older your boobs are still going to be cute and perky. Mine? They'll look like eggs nailed to a tree.

As for fake ones, I severely advise against it. You might think that breast implants will help, but it'll just feed the monster that is your insecurity. You need to be happy with yourself in the first place before you altar your body in such a drastic way. Whenever you start to have a negative thought about your body, you need to stop yourself and think something good about yourself. When I had low self esteem I would stand in front of a mirror and compliment myself. I found things that were beautiful about myself, and learned to love every part.

As for your husband, are there parts of him you love which he hates or finds unattractive?
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Unread February 17th, 2012, 10:50 AM   #6
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Default Re: insecurities ruining my life

It's the classic "people just can not be satisfied" example. Can you guess how many women would love to be thin and have low body fat. MANY. be happy with what God built you with and have an Awesome marriage. Your husband married you because he found you attractive. Not thinkIng that maybe someday he could talk you into a boob job.
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Unread February 17th, 2012, 12:44 PM   #7
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Default Re: insecurities ruining my life

Does it affect you so much that you think you may have body dysmorphic disorder? A condition like that can seriously get in the way of a person experiencing a normal, happy life, due to magnified insecurities.

You know, everyone has their preferences. Some men like comically huge breasts, some men like average sized breasts, some men (believe it or not) prefer small breasts. If your husband is telling you that he doesn't think you need to change, he may very well prefer smaller chest sizes.

Some of the most beautiful women in the world have small breasts. Nothing wrong with that.
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Unread February 17th, 2012, 03:52 PM   #8
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Default Re: insecurities ruining my life

I definitely know where you're coming from, I'm 23 and I'm pretty small "up there" too...not to mention I have narrow hips, and my but is pretty much non-existant... In high school I used to be pretty self-concious about it, but I eventually I realized that just because I don't have big boobs & hourglass curves doesn't mean I don't have a good body, or that guys won't find me attractive. Plus honestly most guys I've talked to truly don't care about how big your boobs are (& the one's that do are usually shallow jerks anyways.) You've gotta learn to love what you've got. & do you know why your boyfriend said you look fine? It's becuase he truly thinks you look fine! If he had a problem with it he wouldn't be with you.
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Unread February 17th, 2012, 04:13 PM   #9
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Default Re: insecurities ruining my life

As Carnation pointed out, there's good and bad in everything. Personally, I wouldn't suggest getting a boob job just because from what I understand, they aren't a one time thing. There's required upkeep on them and eh, it doesn't seem worth it. But at the same time, I recognize how badly this makes you feel so I say do whatever you feel would benefit you most. Be sure to think this through though - the pros and cons of both options, short term and long term both.
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Unread February 17th, 2012, 05:21 PM   #10
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Default Re: insecurities ruining my life

careful, you may become a whore (as seen by the husband in this thread)
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Unread February 17th, 2012, 06:38 PM   #11
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Default Re: insecurities ruining my life

thanks for all the replies. i don't want them too big, a b cup would satisfy me as my body is already pretty slim, and bigger would just look unproportional. i'd just like to have at least "something" there to feel somewhat feminine.
Galapagos, i think i might have that. i have insecurities about other small things too that other people say they don't notice, so i guess thats possible.
the thing is, he never complained about them, but he never ever in our entire time together complimented them/my body. when i say something, he says i look "fine". my hip to waist ratio though is as perfect as it gets (68 i think).
OvershareDude - i lol'd when i read that post. the guy is kind of a jerk though, if the girl was insecure even a little bit she would feel really bad about herself. he didn't have to make her get a surgery especially when she didn't want it. It's kinda weird it changed her entire personality though.
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Unread February 18th, 2012, 12:08 AM   #12
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Default Re: insecurities ruining my life

Confidence is a strange creature.
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Unread February 19th, 2012, 05:10 AM   #13
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Default Re: insecurities ruining my life

Yeah... Reading that was like some movie/Shakespearean drama.

If your husband loves you for you, I wouldn't worry about it. However, if you aren't happy with you then talk to him about it.
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Unread February 20th, 2012, 11:41 PM   #14
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Default Re: insecurities ruining my life

Very few men care about breast size. I happen to like small breasts. They can usualy be found on skinny hot babes. It's not like you have a small dick.
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Unread February 21st, 2012, 05:34 AM   #15
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Default Re: insecurities ruining my life

I personally love small boobs and most of my friends prefer them too. When was the last time you saw a runway model with big boobs?

You're focusing way too much on your top. Guys need the 'whole package' with their women...friendship, conversation, support, intimacy and soul mate.

I'm sure you have other ASSets you can promote......
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Unread February 21st, 2012, 06:37 PM   #16
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Default Re: insecurities ruining my life

Quote:
Originally Posted by guitarguy0103 View Post
I personally love small boobs and most of my friends prefer them too. When was the last time you saw a runway model with big boobs?

You're focusing way too much on your top. Guys need the 'whole package' with their women...friendship, conversation, support, intimacy and soul mate.

I'm sure you have other ASSets you can promote......
hahahah ASSets
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Unread February 26th, 2012, 12:30 AM   #17
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Default Re: insecurities ruining my life

i guess i do, just hurts to feel like you don't match up to overwhelming majority of female population in that department.
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Unread February 26th, 2012, 01:19 AM   #18
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Default Re: insecurities ruining my life

This is going to be kind of tongue in cheek here, but what if you have kids first. Your breasts would swell and you could really decide if you liked yourself with bigger breasts... although I would recommend that you get this self image thing sorted before you have kids, if you even want to!

Think about it this way - some women don't even *have* breasts. Breast cancer survivors sometimes lose one and keep the other. How do you reckon they feel? Can you compare yourself to that state in the boob department? Do they jiggle at all? Can you do other things to enhance your look so YOU feel beautiful?

There's always the classic wonderbra, which should give you confidence when out and about. No one else would care, and you shouldn't care what anyone thinks about your boobs, but there's something to be said for *feeling* like a hot mama.

There are other things as well. There are creams, pills. If you are on an estrogen pill, your breasts may get bigger anyway. Try to do some real research and see what you think.

Last thing I'll try to understand. Are you worried that your husband doesn't find you sexy or is it more that YOU don't feel hot?

.... I'm small upstairs too. I gained weight and now have something resembling boobs, but they're still barely a B. When I was thin, and they were almost non-existant, I felt SO great because they were so perky! I loved not having to wear a bra in dresses! (may sound strange... but yeah, small breasted women can get away with some awesome stuff in fashion!)
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Unread March 4th, 2012, 07:43 AM   #19
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Default Re: insecurities ruining my life

im already on the pill.. it does make it better, but i still feel like its not enough. i kinda feel like its both. he's not into sex as much as i am, and no matter how much he says its not about me or my body, im going to feel like it is. being constantly rejected doesn't help your self image. i also myself have low confidence to begin with, so it's both really. im barely a b as well, like 32b. if you can find a naked pic of rachel evan wood, thats how i look.
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Unread March 4th, 2012, 07:53 AM   #20
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if you can find a naked pic of rachel evan wood, thats how i look.


If you covert whatever my missus is to US, she's a 10A in Australian sizes.... yummy
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Last edited by OvershareDude; March 4th, 2012 at 08:06 AM..
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