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The Long Haul Are you past the flirting and dating stage? Wondering if there's life after 6 months with the same person? If you're in a serious long term relationship, this is your one-stop shop for questions and answers.

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Unread February 19th, 2012, 04:35 AM   #81
leonlecouer
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Default Re: My boyfriend is cheap

You know, in the Corps they always say that the latest generation of Marines is not as good as the last. They have it easier, not as tough and so on. Yet, we are always winning in every battle.

You guys sound like some old gunny talking about the good ole days in Korea.

Its nothing more then an attempt to still feel needed in an evolving society that has moved passed how you were raised. Depending upon what society, belief, and morals you were brought up in. People will always seem different. Im sure your own parents thought you were all evil or something.

Anyway, the woman in this original post sounds like a classic Dependapotamous.
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Unread February 20th, 2012, 12:37 AM   #82
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Default Re: My boyfriend is cheap

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Originally Posted by leonlecouer View Post
You know, in the Corps they always say that the latest generation of Marines is not as good as the last. They have it easier, not as tough and so on. Yet, we are always winning in every battle.

You guys sound like some old gunny talking about the good ole days in Korea.

Its nothing more then an attempt to still feel needed in an evolving society that has moved passed how you were raised. Depending upon what society, belief, and morals you were brought up in. People will always seem different. Im sure your own parents thought you were all evil or something.

Anyway, the woman in this original post sounds like a classic Dependapotamous.
Society changed, leonecouer, yes. But what we find sexually attractive hasn't quite caught up on a visceral level.

Young broads with nice tits are what it's all about, and established men who exude dominance hunt out "The Impregnables."
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Unread February 20th, 2012, 08:25 AM   #83
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Default Re: My boyfriend is cheap

Can't believe that you said "He pays for me when we go out 'of course'" lol that is so wrong and cheeky, sorry but it is.

He doesn't have to. Its not a rule, dont expect him to because if he heard you say that he probably wouldn't bother.
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Unread February 20th, 2012, 11:46 AM   #84
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Default Re: My boyfriend is cheap

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Originally Posted by AJRelic View Post
In other words...the only way some close-minded individuals will consider you a valuable woman is if you don't need a man.
In other words, you are calling others close-minded for disagreeing with your archaic beliefs backed by nothing but tradition but are not close-minded yourself. Also, in saying that you are basically saying women need men? Wtf?

I pose the same comments and questions to you. Answer them if you think you can, if not my point still stands.

The OP is in college. Why? If it is the man's "responsibility" to care for the woman, what would she need an education for? And why should whoever she is sleeping with at the time be responsible for paying for her still somewhat new right to make this decision?

Do you think it makes sense for women to have rights and equality while also being cared for? Explain the meshing of these schools of thought. Also explain how men are not getting the short end of the stick.

Explain why tradition is law - keeping in mind the nastier, less pretty "traditions" people sometimes grow up with.


I'll leave this here: No Harmony Without Equality


The hostility is likely coming from the fact that, thus far, you and others like you have failed repeatedly to explain your stance without resorting to weak arguments. Tradition is a weak argument, just about anything involving the words "I feel..." is a weak argument, you get the picture. Traditions change and some need to. You can call people close-minded and tell her to hunt down a sugar daddy all day long but if you can't explain why this is necessary, it's pointless.
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Unread February 21st, 2012, 12:19 PM   #85
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Default Re: My boyfriend is cheap

Wake up, people. Feminism has nothing to do with equality. It's only generic greed with store-brand packaging.
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Unread February 21st, 2012, 02:18 PM   #86
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Default Re: My boyfriend is cheap

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Wake up, people. Feminism has nothing to do with equality. It's only generic greed with store-brand packaging.
Depends upon who you ask and what their understanding of the concept is, the term "feminism" does not apply to one set of causes and goals held by all.
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Unread February 21st, 2012, 02:50 PM   #87
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Default Re: My boyfriend is cheap

Male feminist = pussy-worshiping, sexually stale pushover.

Female feminist = female too ugly to be sexually objectified by the object of her sexual affection.

Men and women are not equals. Equals are equals. There are many differences between the sexes. But only by discovering the differences can there be hope to correctly identify the similarities. And only after properly inventorying the differences and similarities can there be formed an appropriate way for everyone to harmoniously get along.

Feminism too often causes the very same problems it promises to fix. Feminism is the ugly twin of misogyny.

People who practice the concepts preached by feminism, with integrity, don't call it feminism.
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Unread February 21st, 2012, 02:56 PM   #88
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Default Re: My boyfriend is cheap

Personally, I don't like the term feminism and I don't use it nor do I consider myself a feminist. But that aside, several of your statements are merely generalizations, you can't honestly hope to make a valid point with them can you?
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Unread February 21st, 2012, 02:59 PM   #89
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Default Re: My boyfriend is cheap

Stereotypes (generalizations) aren't spontaneously pulled out of someone's ass. They're there for a reason.
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Unread February 21st, 2012, 03:11 PM   #90
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Default Re: My boyfriend is cheap

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Stereotypes (generalizations) aren't spontaneously pulled out of someone's ass. They're there for a reason.
They're there because people are dense and always looking to apply simple labels. You can always find people who go against the stereotype.
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Unread February 21st, 2012, 03:16 PM   #91
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Default Re: My boyfriend is cheap

Stereotypes are there because people are dense and are, mischievously, if I'm understanding correctly, looking to apply simple labels?

That is factually incorrect. Stereotypes are nothing more than mental shortcuts. Stereotypes die off as their predictive powers prove no longer usefully accurate.

Yeah, you can always find the exception. But that's just silly. Stereotypes are not based on the exceptions, they are based on the general rules of thumb.
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Unread February 21st, 2012, 03:20 PM   #92
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Default Re: My boyfriend is cheap

I understand but if there are exceptions why would you use them at all? You don't necessarily know who you are talking to or about, you could be entirely off-base by making that kind of assumption.
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Unread February 21st, 2012, 03:31 PM   #93
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Default Re: My boyfriend is cheap

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sociopath View Post
Stereotypes are not based on the exceptions, they are based on the general rules of thumb.
You are correct IMO; They would not survive social evolution if they didn't have at least some basis in fact, or if the concepts of a given sterotype weren't held as a truth by general consensus.
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Unread February 21st, 2012, 03:35 PM   #94
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Default Re: My boyfriend is cheap

The OP appears to value a "man" or gauge his "manliness quotient" by the value he expends on her behalf. Pity that man when his balance sheet goes red....

We need to ask the OP to tell us about the details of her parent’s marriage. Who wants to bet we can figure out how love was doled out in that house?
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Unread February 21st, 2012, 03:37 PM   #95
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Default Re: My boyfriend is cheap

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I understand but if there are exceptions why would you use them at all? You don't necessarily know who you are talking to or about, you could be entirely off-base by making that kind of assumption.
Because, Dasmi, we've evolved the ability to come to conclusions based on incomplete information. In the grand scheme of things, this ability is a blessing.

So what if some moron cites ONE example of when a rich man was giving out free cash to anyone who asked, no strings attached, no favors expected in return? Our ability to make the assumption that rich men don't give out free cash comes as a blessing in the form of discouraging us from wasting any energy, time, or resources to go visit that rumored rich man.

Re-read your last reply. You might as well be saying this:

You don't necessarily know that the lottery ticket you're buying is a losing one until you buy it and scratch it.

That is true, I don't know. But the stereotype about lottery tickets says I won't be winning more money than I'm going to be putting in.

So what if I insult the negro whose face has on it a permanent expression of aggression, clothing which suggests poverty, demeanor most commonly displayed by drug addicts who'll stab you for your wallet, even though he's actually a kind person? And so what if I get taught a lesson when the well-mannered, apparently financially successful white man with a polite facial expression ends up stealing my car out from right under my nose?

The point is, if I start to behave like stereotypes are all false, I'm going to be, over the long run, disappointed.

Do you play poker or involve yourself in any financial transactions, the bread and butter of which is to assess risk and invest an appropriate amount of money based on that risk?

Stereotypes are the odds in life. You don't have to be right (make money) all the time. You just have to make sure that on those occasions that you are right, you win more money than the money you lose on the occasions you're wrong.
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Unread February 23rd, 2012, 02:18 PM   #96
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Default Re: My boyfriend is cheap

The OP is a prime example of why so many men treat women like shit. Because they think they are like the OP. What a joke OP. I mean are you serious? You are truly pathetic.
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Unread February 28th, 2012, 09:47 PM   #97
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Default Re: My boyfriend is cheap

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dasmi View Post
In other words, you are calling others close-minded for disagreeing with your archaic beliefs backed by nothing but tradition but are not close-minded yourself. Also, in saying that you are basically saying women need men? Wtf?

When did I say any of those beliefs were my own? Yes I considered close-minded individuals anyone that would disregard her personal culture just because they think it's "archaic". Why does it matter if she wants to be treated like a housewife? Some people were raised this way, and there are men that would appreciate her for it. I'm sorry if I don't agree that she needs to change her personality to suite YOUR standards. There are other ways of living that people are perfectly happy with.

*Edit* Yes that's what I said. Women need men. Just like men need women. Those needs are a wide range, but they're there...otherwise why are you in the relationship? It can be emotional, physical, intellectual, financial or any combination of these and many other human needs. In our society, where independence is valued, it seems like the ideal woman is someone who doesn't need any outside support. I mean...look at your response. A women needing a man?! WTF? That's pretty confusing to me.


I pose the same comments and questions to you. Answer them if you think you can, if not my point still stands.

The OP is in college. Why? If it is the man's "responsibility" to care for the woman, what would she need an education for? And why should whoever she is sleeping with at the time be responsible for paying for her still somewhat new right to make this decision?

Why are you asking me? I can't answer these questions for her. I can speculate if you'd like. Maybe she's in college because she genuinely enjoys learning. Maybe she's not completely traditional, picked up some values from our culture and appreciates the ability to work and earn her own money, even if that's not her goal in a relationship.

No ones responsible to pay for anything of hers. Just like no ones responsible to stay in a relationship with her. Just like she isn't responsible to stay in any relationship based on anyone else's standards but her own.


Do you think it makes sense for women to have rights and equality while also being cared for? Explain the meshing of these schools of thought. Also explain how men are not getting the short end of the stick.

Obviously you misunderstood my post. Please go re-read. I didn't say anything about equality or rights. I understand you think your standard is the "right one" but in a place like Puerto Rico or any society that requires a lot of hard outside labor in harsh weather conditions, work is usually done by men for physical reason.

While men are outside doing hard labor, woman are at home preparing meals for them and culture develops around these conditions... not because woman are being "depraved" or "property" but out of necessity.

Just because she was raised around these values does not make her a bad person nor does it warrant the kind of responses she got. It's a shame how narrow some people's views are.


Explain why tradition is law - keeping in mind the nastier, less pretty "traditions" people sometimes grow up with.

No ones personal standards/traditions/culture is law. Not mine, and especially not yours.


The hostility is likely coming from the fact that, thus far, you and others like you have failed repeatedly to explain your stance without resorting to weak arguments. Tradition is a weak argument, just about anything involving the words "I feel..." is a weak argument, you get the picture. Traditions change and some need to. You can call people close-minded and tell her to hunt down a sugar daddy all day long but if you can't explain why this is necessary, it's pointless.

No worries, I enjoyed the hostility. Putting words in my mouth and jumping to conclusions only proves my point. Everyone else in this thread has done it to her, immediately branding her with stereotypes because she's misguided.

Regardless of how twisted you may feel her, or my, views are, you should speak to us with the same tone we give you. You didn't know what her or my intentions were, you only subjected her to your prejudice.

Why did you expect me to respond to you? I thought the focus of this thread was on the OP and helping her. Why does it matter if you agree with me or not? What matters is what she walks away with from this thread, and I hope she doesn't hate herself now because of everyone's "righteous fury".

One last thing, did you purposely take that quote out of context and disregard the rest of my post? Before you answer that, please note your entire reply seems to be directed towards a single sentence of mine.

Last edited by AJRelic; February 28th, 2012 at 10:25 PM..
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Unread February 28th, 2012, 10:43 PM   #98
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Default Re: My boyfriend is cheap

Oookay, this has gone on long enough. The OP hasn't been here in a few pages and we are now getting into petty arguing and name calling. If the OP comes back, she can create a new thread and if we want to discuss this we can make a topic in general chat.

Thread closed.
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