I would like some advice
So there's this girl that I've been friends with for about a year and for a few months I liked her. We used to literally hangout every single from this past August until October. Then things kinda went wrong. Usually when things went wrong they were all my fault and to this day still are. I've learned that in being friends with her, alcohol was/is my worst enemy and it seems like we are always in constant competition. In October of last year I finally let it all out how I felt about her and how much I loved and cared about her. However, I also made the mistake of saying I still like her a little and since then, things have never been the way they used too. Usually on the weekends I'd go over to her house and hangout with her, her brothers, and her brothers friends. After the incident in October I had with her she immediately began to flock to one of her brothers friends (I was friends with her brothers before I was her) and I got jealous, but I think I was more upset than anything. Well this past weekend it really climaxed. Now I'm the type of person that bottles everything up and keep(s) it to myself. This past weekend I drank with her and I blacked out. I found out later that I had belligerently and obnoxiously accused her of wanting to fuck one of her brothers friends and then when she would try to defend herself, I would proceed to call her a bitch for denying it. She also came into the room I was sleeping in and found me with my pants off. I'm by means no impressive specimen, trust me. But anyways the next day her brothers had to do school work so me and her sat in their room and watched movies for about 4 or 5 hours and were just laughing, talking and getting along. Anyways, the next day I noticed she had blocked me on twitter and ignored my text asking why she did so. The day after that she blocked and removed me from friends on Facebook and blocked my twitter account I'm using for my music endeavors. Now I did apologize for it and I was again ignored. But the whole reason I was attacking her is because she never really gave me a chance to be her friend again and inside that mentally destroyed me because that's all I wanted. Especially since I just had to stop being friends with my best friends because they let drugs begin to rule them and it was running into my life too. But she knows this and she knows that she was my last best friend and a few weeks before apologized for treating me terribly and telling me how much she valued the friendship she had with me. I guess the thing is I'm confused and upset about it because it just really feels like I don't have anyone any more and I slowly approaching my wits end. What should I do to combat the problem?