The lost art of chivalry - Page 2

super_chevy2000 · June 8th, 2002, 11:56 AM

I think that sometimes a girl can expect too much from a guy just because he's a guy so a guy should do all these sweet little things because he wants to do it and not because someone expects him to. A guy wanting to do these things is one of the things that makes them so special.

Adonis · June 9th, 2002, 10:47 AM

girls just so do not appreciate people that do that kind of stuff anymore.. it's gotten to the point where if you stand up from the table when a girl leaves, they'll just look at you weird and ask, "uhh, what are you doing?"

i've also had girls that just refused to allow me pull out seats or hold doors for them.. goddamn it! girls are so hard to deal with!

Coyote Loco · June 9th, 2002, 06:07 PM

just little things here and there are wonderful.. the holding the door open bit is sweet... it's not something that needs to be done everytime because then it gets to be expected... but yeah...

Clive Sparrow · June 9th, 2002, 10:27 PM

I think too many people, or hell maybe it was just one reply I read a couple times, are assuming that girls don't like that stuff anymore. you really can't say that cause you don't know them all! maybe your experience with it hasn't been what you'd like it to be, but, I doubt there isn't one girl out there that doesn't appretiate that (did I word that right? hell, you know what I meant!) well, maybe we can safely say, we'd like to see a little better experience to lead us to believe otherwise, 'eh?

Mooch · June 10th, 2002, 03:51 PM

Well, I will first say that I think people should be polite, and that means whoever gets to the door first holds it open, etc. Pulling out a chair for someone seems dumb to me though, I would never do that...they're not that heavy people! I guess what I'm saying is I am generally nice and polite to people in general, but that's because I'm nice, and girls don't have a right to expect it.

Also, to me at least, the concept of "chivalry" goes hand in hand with sexism...and you can have it both ways. If you want guys to treat you like you're week and feeble and can't do things for yourselves (like open doors) (and this is where the concept of chivalry came from) then you can complain about not being considered by guys as equals in other respects. I'm not a sexist, and in all matters of life except who I date, I treat guys and girls equally. That means I expect them to be able to take care of themselves. And that means, pull out your own damn chairs.

Not trying to offend anyone here, but chivalry is sexism..and we won't get rid of sexism until we get rid of chivalry too.

Scarlet Phlox · June 10th, 2002, 03:57 PM

Quote:

girls just so do not appreciate people that do that kind of stuff anymore.. it's gotten to the point where if you stand up from the table when a girl leaves, they'll just look at you weird and ask, "uhh, what are you doing?"

I was like that sometimes.....it just kinda made me feel helpless. I liked it most of the time, but I didn't see the point in waiting for my boyfriend to open doors for me when I got there first. The thing is, he really wanted to, and now that we've broken up, I miss his little acts of chivalry.

Clive Sparrow · June 10th, 2002, 04:25 PM

Mooch had a good point up there. I mean, even though the thread is kinda about girls not appretiating it anymore or somethin like that, I think that people should be polite to people in general, it shouldn't just be limited to guys and girls. hell, with the whole door thing it's generally a trade off with me and my girlfriend, she always gets there first so she opens the first one and I open the second one, heh, it's not like they get mad if you miss a couple or something. and then Scarlet Phlox had another good point, I mean, sometimes you don't notice these things until after they are gone!

Lone Wolf · June 11th, 2002, 11:11 AM

somehow girl like this only on a theroetical level
they dream about the gentleman and stuff - or at least they complain about their b/f not being a gentleman and stuff

and then somehow, as soon as a girl gets that attention, it's not ok either...

world's weird...

Lone Wolf

jungAH · June 11th, 2002, 11:58 AM

^

Yes, I laugh... cuz it's so true...ehhh..

June 11th, 2002, 12:18 PM

Quote:

somehow girl like this only on a theroetical level
they dream about the gentleman and stuff - or at least they complain about their b/f not being a gentleman and stuff

and then somehow, as soon as a girl gets that attention, it's not ok either...

world's weird...

Lone Wolf

sooo true...so true...

eatshit · June 12th, 2002, 12:08 PM

Well, yeah its nice for a guy to open doors and stuff for girls... and it usually makes us girls feel like we're kinda being looked after... guys should be appreciated for doing things like that... maybe girls should start doing stuff like that too, i dont think guys should have to pay for all a girlfriends' food and stuff, if gf and bf want to pay for each toher, they should take turns!

Scarlet Phlox · June 13th, 2002, 01:09 AM

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i dont think guys should have to pay for all a girlfriends' food and stuff, if gf and bf want to pay for each toher, they should take turns!

But what if he won't let you?? Like he seriously WILL NOT LET YOU?

ShRt SwEEt*n*SexY · June 13th, 2002, 02:26 AM

i like a polite nice guy but the whole chivalry thing becomes asinine. it inevitably turns into the "whose penis is bigger contest" and really that becomes quite redundant.

Deidre · June 13th, 2002, 06:02 AM

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But what if he won't let you?? Like he seriously WILL NOT LET YOU?

Then you surprise him, by showing up with something that's already paid for.

Quote:

somehow girl like this only on a theroetical level
they dream about the gentleman and stuff - or at least they complain about their b/f not being a gentleman and stuff

and then somehow, as soon as a girl gets that attention, it's not ok either..

I never dreamed about someone who'd open doors for me, want to pay for me, pulls out my chair etc. I got one anyway and I don't complain about it (although I will complain, and loudly, about him wanting to pay me back for things I do for him... :P Why's he supposed to be the only one who's allowed to pay for things? ...he tends to end up paying me back anyway by treating me to the movies or whatever, anyway).

hunny · June 13th, 2002, 10:11 AM

Yeah.... I once dated this super-polite guy.. he opened doors for me, including my car door when he took me out... sometimes there'd be a flower on the seat when he opened it.. how sweet! He always came to the door when he picked me up, and always walked me to my front door when he brought me home. Lit my cigarette for me (yeah, I smoked, so what?) and little things like that.
What a gentleman!
Oh, but he also turned out to be the biggest jerk I'd ever had the misfortune of getting mixed up with. So you can't always judge a decent guy by his manners. Sometimes it's just a front. Or at least it was in this case.
Damn... maybe I'm bitter but I think you GUYS are just as hard to deal with as girls.

eatshit · June 13th, 2002, 12:20 PM

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But what if he won't let you?? Like he seriously WILL NOT LET YOU?

Then you surprise him, by showing up with something that's already paid for.

hahah EXACTLY!!

i also dont think guys having manners is a requirement in a "dream guy" for ANY girl, its just a plus... and i guess just because a guy has good manners doesn't mean too much about his personality either...

Sydney123456 · June 16th, 2002, 05:34 PM

I have a guy that waits on me hand and foot...yet when I flex my muscles and try to excercise my freedom, he lets me do so.

But...I like that treatment, always have. I try to pay for things, but he's stubborn and will never let me. When I think I get away with paying for something, he either sends me a letter with money in it, or he works at a bank so he transfers as little as $7 from his account to mine! BAH! It's a no win situation...but, I think it's cute. :P

He doesn't always pull out my chair for me which is great (he does it when we're someplace nice, or at a formal event...becuase the atmosphere is appropriate).

I like being babied...a great deal of the guys that I've liked do baby their girlfriends. The one that didn't was a completely lustful attraction... :-?