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Unread March 2nd, 2010, 04:03 AM   #1
CheezyPuff
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Mad Homewrecker!?

So there was this night that I'm not very proud of... I hooked up with a guy I used to work with. We WERE friends but after that night he did a complete turn around. I'm VERY ashamed because #1: I'm not that kind of person, and #2: I feel COMPLETELY used.

It happened over a year and a half ago... and I thought it was behind me but I was doing some browsing on MySpace and found him on one of my friends pages. So I decided to check him out... and found out he's been married for more than 6 years... with CHILDREN. Details that he somehow kept from me.

Now I feel worse than I ever did about this situation... something I thought impossible before a couple days ago! I know I really had no way of knowing... but it's been eating at me CONSTANTLY since I found out... does ANYONE have advice on how to get over it?!
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Unread March 2nd, 2010, 11:01 AM   #2
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Default Re: Homewrecker!?

So the 'Homewrecker!?' in the title refers to you? The only homewrecking behaviour was committed by him. You worked with him and were friends and he never mentioned he was married. That tells you what sort of guy he is - he deliberately keeps quiet about being married with kids so he has options to hook up with people.

How this guy conducts himself is really nothing to do with you. Why would you make yourself responsible for what he did? It's pretty unlikely it's the only time he's done something like this.
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Unread March 2nd, 2010, 01:39 PM   #3
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Default Re: Homewrecker!?

Yea, you can’t blame yourself for not knowing. Don’t be so hard on yourself. You did what you wanted to at the time… knowing what you where told. You should not feel any less about yourself. He was the one who deceived you. He lied. So you did nothing wrong. Your not a home wrecker. As far as you knew you where hooking up with a single guy that had no ties.
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Unread March 2nd, 2010, 04:55 PM   #4
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Default Re: Homewrecker!?

you're STILL not 'that kind of person." You did nothing wrong. You had no idea he was married, or had kids. There is no blame on you for this. He is simply a horrible person. Should you feel used? Yeah, probably. But it WAS 1.5 years ago, and it's time to move on.
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Unread March 3rd, 2010, 05:46 AM   #5
CheezyPuff
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Default Re: Homewrecker!?

Yes I just worry about what happens to the wife and kids if they find out y'know? He'd deserve every second of it but he won't be the only one suffering and just the thought of that turns my stomach!!

I REALLY appreciate it though, everyone. I feel a lot better!!
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Unread March 3rd, 2010, 07:20 AM   #6
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Default Re: Homewrecker!?

Short of asking every guy you meet if they are married, what can you do to protect yourself against this? It's not like you consciously went out to have sex with a married man. You two had a connection that night, and it turned out that all he wanted was a one night stand. You feel used and now find out that he is complete scum. I think you should actually feel better about yourself after finding this out. Be glad that you only had one night with him and he didn't try to use you for a longer period of time while he was married.

So yeah, you did nothing wrong and he is a douchebag.
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Unread March 3rd, 2010, 07:25 AM   #7
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Default Re: Homewrecker!?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sekcboi85 View Post
Short of asking every guy you meet if they are married

They do have the option to lie. There is nothing you can do to know.

Why do you feel bad about it? Forget it and move on.
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