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Down in the Dumps Breaking up is a difficult time. How does it go? Denial, Anger, acceptance? No... that's not it. Come to this forum to find out what it's really like.

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Unread August 17th, 2008, 04:20 AM   #1
fs1992eg
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Default ex girlfriend calls out of the blue

hey guys, i need some advice on what to do, my ex girlfriend calls me out of the blue a couple of days ago and wants to hang out with me, i was actually busy at the time and told her i didnt have time but we could set something up so we can catch or whatever.

here is a a little backround info, we were dating for about 2 year almost and with every relationship we had our ups and downs foresure, it was my first real relationship, i was 21 at the time and she was 22, she had previvuos relationships and they didnt really pan out for her, my first and to be honest, i was a complete newb at the time and really didnt know what to say or do during aurguements and stuff, pretty much making thing worse. She wasnt an angel either, sometimes she was completely out of line, she mentioned to me that she could be a complete bitch sometimes and she was sometimes. She wanted to get married and wanted alot of things that wasnt planning for but girls want what they wanted so yeah, but by the end of it she dumped me, and i was crushed, so crushed, i wanted to get her back but at the same time, i didnt want her back for dumping me, making a half ass effort of getting her back, she told me that she was dissapointed that i didnt make a bigger effort to get her back, i was pissed, apparently there is a lessoned to be learned, and apparently i didnt learn it, blah blah blah, kinda fell apart after that.

fast foreword 10 months later, i go visit her not cuz i miss her, but i let her borrow something of mine that she said that she was going to return in april and now was august. When i went there, and talked to her she didnt even look me in the eyes while we had our little chat, couldnt have been more than 30 second conversation.

Couple of days ago she call me out of the blue, this girl doesnt call people right, she waits for people to call her, so was a surprised to say the least, she asked me if i was busy?, i was so i told her did she wants to catch up we can do it later.

Today, i text to her let me know when you have time to catch up?, she texts me 'resuce me for here lol' ok?, i text her where are u, she was at the local carnival, so i tell her i call her that i going to pick her up right, i go there, to pick her up, she doesnt want to ditch her friend so we just have a 1 hour long conversation about what going on with ourselves, blah blah blah blah. anyways i asked her why she called me out of the blue, she told me 'i dont know' right? i asked her want do you want from me?, she asked to same question back, no i asked you, she said that she cant jump into a relationship, right now, ok, so i like so wtf do you want from me?, i was thinking,hmmm, we plan to get together again when her parents are away on vacation next saturday , so..............

WHAT DOES SHE REALLY WANT FROM ME?

I miss her and kinda want to get back together with her cuz, i hate the long process of finding someone, talking, basiclly going through the motions agian, and honestly i am really tired of that process.

and the thing is, i dont want to be set up up for dissapointment, cuz that would suck, and i dont want to be friends with her, cuz if she mets and new guy, i dont want to be put in that position, you know?

WHAT DOES SHE REALLY WANT FROM ME?

help would be apprecietated
thanks

WHAT DOES SHE REALLY WANT FROM ME?
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Unread August 17th, 2008, 06:05 AM   #2
HBDB
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Default Re: ex girlfriend calls out of the blue

Quote:
Originally Posted by fs1992eg View Post
hey guys, i need some advice on what to do, my ex girlfriend calls me out of the blue a couple of days ago and wants to hang out with me, i was actually busy at the time and told her i didnt have time but we could set something up so we can catch or whatever.

here is a a little backround info, we were dating for about 2 year almost and with every relationship we had our ups and downs foresure, it was my first real relationship, i was 21 at the time and she was 22, she had previvuos relationships and they didnt really pan out for her, my first and to be honest, i was a complete newb at the time and really didnt know what to say or do during aurguements and stuff, pretty much making thing worse. She wasnt an angel either, sometimes she was completely out of line, she mentioned to me that she could be a complete bitch sometimes and she was sometimes. She wanted to get married and wanted alot of things that wasnt planning for but girls want what they wanted so yeah, but by the end of it she dumped me, and i was crushed, so crushed, i wanted to get her back but at the same time, i didnt want her back for dumping me, making a half ass effort of getting her back, she told me that she was dissapointed that i didnt make a bigger effort to get her back, i was pissed, apparently there is a lessoned to be learned, and apparently i didnt learn it, blah blah blah, kinda fell apart after that.

fast foreword 10 months later, i go visit her not cuz i miss her, but i let her borrow something of mine that she said that she was going to return in april and now was august. When i went there, and talked to her she didnt even look me in the eyes while we had our little chat, couldnt have been more than 30 second conversation.

Couple of days ago she call me out of the blue, this girl doesnt call people right, she waits for people to call her, so was a surprised to say the least, she asked me if i was busy?, i was so i told her did she wants to catch up we can do it later.

Today, i text to her let me know when you have time to catch up?, she texts me 'resuce me for here lol' ok?, i text her where are u, she was at the local carnival, so i tell her i call her that i going to pick her up right, i go there, to pick her up, she doesnt want to ditch her friend so we just have a 1 hour long conversation about what going on with ourselves, blah blah blah blah. anyways i asked her why she called me out of the blue, she told me 'i dont know' right? i asked her want do you want from me?, she asked to same question back, no i asked you, she said that she cant jump into a relationship, right now, ok, so i like so wtf do you want from me?, i was thinking,hmmm, we plan to get together again when her parents are away on vacation next saturday , so..............

WHAT DOES SHE REALLY WANT FROM ME?

I miss her and kinda want to get back together with her cuz, i hate the long process of finding someone, talking, basiclly going through the motions agian, and honestly i am really tired of that process.

and the thing is, i dont want to be set up up for dissapointment, cuz that would suck, and i dont want to be friends with her, cuz if she mets and new guy, i dont want to be put in that position, you know?

WHAT DOES SHE REALLY WANT FROM ME?

help would be apprecietated
thanks

WHAT DOES SHE REALLY WANT FROM ME?
Sounds to me that if you were to get back together with her that it would be out of shear convienace for you. That’s never a good idea. If you have second thoughts about whether you two would work this time I would suggest giving it more time to see if the both of you have made the necessary changes for you to have a healthy relationship.

As well it sounds like she might be playing a bit of a mind game. You said she always waits for people to call her, and you didn’t call her so she’s going to try to get you attached again I believe she wants you to be unhappy and she wants to see if for her self.

I wouldn’t get back together with her. Its been long enough just move on and find something else.
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Unread August 17th, 2008, 12:20 PM   #3
Kuky
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Default Re: ex girlfriend calls out of the blue

So, what you're saying is, you will settle for someone who is nowhere near as good as what you can get, because you're too lazy to go through the "process" again? The "process" can be a lot of fun. You should try to learn to enjoy it hehe. I'm just getting the impression that she's trying to get you to jump through her hoops. That's a pretty bad sign, if you're thinking about her for long-term.
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