http://www.relationship-forums.com/ The Relationship Forums provide a venue for people to ask questions about all facets of relationships, both romantic and non-romantic. en Tue, 07 Sep 2010 14:31:57 GMT vBulletin 60 http://www.relationship-forums.com/delisiosso/misc/rss.jpg http://www.relationship-forums.com/ http://www.relationship-forums.com//showthread.php?t=26096&goto=newpost Tue, 07 Sep 2010 11:06:35 GMT some of you know my situation,my SO was being forced into a marriage by his parents.

he tried saying no...and then asked me to..

a) run away with him
b) he keeps saying no hoping eventually his parents agree to our marriage.

we're both 26.

now from a asian culture, it's very difficult just up and leaving. his family know about me, and know he's in love with me but still wanted him to marry this girl.

i told him to agree to the marriage, then try to talk the girl out of it, and get her to call it off.

we tried that, but this girl is INSANE. she's been slitting her wrists, acting obsessive saying she wants to marry him, make him hers no matter what.

we then got stuck between a rock and a hard place.

we decided that we couldn't call off the wedding -parents had started sending out invites, everyone got involved..it leads to DISOWNMENT and then i would have had to leave my family- which i did not want to do.

we decided for him to marry this girl, but respect boundaries, he does not take away virginity from her, and divorce her 2-3 months later..leaving her clean, so she can marry elsewhere.

he got married on sunday...just the registration. formal wedding ceremony where she leaves her house and moves into his is next weekend.

i know this is MORALLY WRONG. but im in this shit situation now.

he's not happy, nor am i.

i know he's not cheating on me with her, i WOULD know if he was.

but naturally im paranoid..about her as well.

i'm thinking of asking him to move out of his house, and rent a place for the next few months while this is going on.

only way i know nothing will happen.

i wish i didn't do what i did, asking him to do this..but now im stuck, im upset, worried, irrational. ]]> The Long Haul lovestruck http://www.relationship-forums.com//showthread.php?t=26096 http://www.relationship-forums.com//showthread.php?t=26087&goto=newpost Tue, 07 Sep 2010 00:24:02 GMT Well, I'm emotionally drained. This whole post, essay really, is a message I sent to a friend of mine so that she may help. I'm going to post it here to see if anyone had any constructive advice. Here it is... it's quite lengthy.

About a week ago I confronted your sister about our communication issues with the sole intent on fixing. Since that moment… things have spiraled way out of proportion. We don't talk anymore and when we do our conversations very dry and very "to-the-point". I do my absolute best to get a conversation going but it just ends up being me asking questions and her giving me simple "Yes""no""maybe" answers. I try to squeeze a “lol” or “hahaha” out of her, but she never says those things anymore. It’s just her reply and that’s it. I know it may seem miniscule but it’s not. It makes it seem like she’d rather be doing something else. Sometimes I feel like I’m drowning in words trying to find something to say. She isn’t engaged in the conversations. She just sits there and expects me to carry the conversations. I do my best to, but I can’t do it all on my own. I need feedback. Sometimes I think she isn't even trying anymore. I feel like she's given up on this. She likes to ask me to tell her a story, and I do. But when the conversation dies down a bit and I want to keep it going, I ask her to tell me a story and she just says "I'm not good at that, you know that." and just leaves it at that. No effort. Didn't even try. She's told a few stories but she seems unwilling to put in the effort to try and find one that doesn't have to do with her work or drama that she so likes to be informed about. I rack my brains so hard to provide her with an interesting story and I'm the one with the shitty memory.

I try to call her at least once a day just to say hi and see how her day is going and I always call her to tell her to have a good day at work. I think that’s a nice thing to do. Well, I’ve been calling her this last week and she never ever picks up anymore. I leave a message and she very rarely returns my call. She was the one complaining that I never call her anymore! I call her so much, she just never picks up her phone. I send her a message on facebook saying “ I love you” multiple times… most of which have gone unanswered. Her statuses are sad ones. It makes me feel ignored, neglected, and insignificant.

When I confronted her, she said that "she is unsure about us". Do you know what that feels like? When the person that you've put so much time, effort, and yourself into says that to you? Your heart sinks, your stomach hurts, your eyes swell up with tears, your throat dries, your head feels numb, you get that weird feeling behind your nose like you just cried, and you just get sad. I can’t even begin to explain how hard that hit me. I asked her what she was thinking and she told me "I need to prioritize things". I said that I'm okay with that and that it'll probably help our communication problems because we'll have more to talk about. I reassured her and reassured her and reassured her that things will be fine and that they will get better. I can tell that she is discouraged about us and I know for sure that she’s considering leaving me.
One thing, it’s not really personal stuff but its about sex. We used to talk about sex and stuff and laugh about it and talk about things we might try and things that looked weird. Or how she liked it. How I liked it. What we would do next time. And just normal stuff like that. But lately she’s just kind of been numb to it. She hasn’t really responded to my advances like she used to. She uninterested in that stuff now.

Whenever we meet up, it's a secret to your parents. I completely and absolutely understand why this would be so. She seems to think that I don't understand. She says, "you're not living it".... and I'm not. I agree with that. But I have lived with it before. My parents used to do the same exact things and they didn’t stop until we (as in myself and my sisters) told them to back the fuck off. I told her that she can't let them push her around. She needs to let them know that they have no say in who she sees and that it is up to her. I told her that she doesn't have to do it now and that she can wait to build up the courage to do it and when the time is right, do it. She replies with "in time, so don't push it". I wasn't pushing it, i was just saying, you know? I know you can relate because u live there too. But she seems to think i'm trying to tell her what to do. she even said " i hate when people tell me what to do, you know that." I was just giving my input. I mentioned to her that your parents think I’m a shitty boyfriend because they only ever hear about her coming to visit me… she stopped by on the way to NM, she came by during, cruise, she’s come up in secret before too… but how many times have they known when I’ve gone down there. Probably the first time I ever met them… and maybe one or two occasions where I was seen in the house. Now, how many times have I actually been down there? At least 10 times or more. All of which are unknown to your parents. I said that the sneaky secret shit is not okay with me. I don’t want a relationship that is underground. The reason why your parents dislike me is because they don’t know that I come down often. They think I’m a lazy fuck that sits around waiting for Rachel to come to me. And I’m not. I go to her as much as I can. She comes to me when it’s a convenient. I put time aside to come and spend time with her. We postponed meeting up last Wednesday because she needed time for herself… and I agreed. I’ll give her as much space as she wants. But now, she’s telling me that I might not be able to come down and see her this week because she can’t tell your parents. Even if it was for an hour, I would come down. Just one hour. I don’t want her to lie but I mean, for one hour? You can go shopping for one hour. Ugh

And one thing that has bugged me slightly is that she’s made plans to go out with guys without telling me. The whole “you’re leaving forever kid” and some other guy she made plans to go get yogurt with and didn’t give me at least a notice saying that “oh, I’m going to get yogurt with blah and blah”. She also made plans with some John Bazerra dude, or whatever his name is, and didn’t tell me either until I asked. Isn’t that something your boyfriend should know? She even said in the comment “message me” as if she didn’t want it out in the public. The john guy ended up being gay. Lol. But he’s still a guy and in my mind, he’s straight and they’re going on a date. That’s what guys think. My girl is going out, alone, with another guy. She didn’t consider me enough to tell me. She’s cheating. That’ what runs through our head.

Bottom-line is that I don’t think she loves me anymore. I really don’t. She’ done nothing lately to reassure me of that love. It's the hardest fucking thing to find but the easiest fucking thing to lose. It sits on my shoulders everyday. It’s a really hard thing to wrap my mind around… but she never says it to me anymore unless I say it first. She doesn’t seem interested in me as much. She doesn’t seem to need me. She doesn’t seem to want to see me anymore. She doesn’t seem to want to talk to me. She doesn’t seem to be interested in returning my calls. She doesn’t seem to be sexually interested in me either. And she doesn’t seem interested in trying anymore.

The point of me messaging you is to ask for your help. Idk how much help you can give but I’d really appreciate any help or advice you could provide. I’m reaching out to the closest person that might understand what we’re going through. And if worse comes to worse I don’t want you to think of me as the ass that made your sister unhappy. I want you to know what exactly what went through my mind through all of this. She seems pretty unhappy and it’s breaking my heart because I don’t know how to fix it. I’m not going to leave her. I’m here to work it out. I’ve expressed to her that we cannot give up. We have to work it out. I'm doing my best to keep a positive note on everything but she has a negative outlook on all of this. I can’t leave someone I love. I’d rather get hurt and end up a bachelor at her hand than leaving and questioning whether it would’ve worked had I stayed. I love her to death! I really do. I try to express and prove that love as often as I can but if she’s fallen out of love with me, I’ll be crushed but if she doesn’t love me, what’s the point? You can’t force someone to love you. ]]> Down in the Dumps snipza http://www.relationship-forums.com//showthread.php?t=26087 http://www.relationship-forums.com//showthread.php?t=26086&goto=newpost Mon, 06 Sep 2010 22:25:02 GMT Ok so I've dating this girl for about a month and a half, and we've pretty much been dating twice a week and it feels like it's getting serious. I was up late last night in a romantic mood, and we had "been together" for the first time over the weekend, and I thought maybe it would be sweet to send some roses to her at work and so I had them scheduled for tomorrow. Should I try to have these cancelled? Maybe it was too much? ]]> The Game - Dating and Kissing timid http://www.relationship-forums.com//showthread.php?t=26086 http://www.relationship-forums.com//showthread.php?t=26085&goto=newpost Mon, 06 Sep 2010 20:10:02 GMT Hi all! Ive been in a seriouse relationship with my girlfriend for 3 years now and are planning our engagement,i was sure she was the one for me until a few weeks ago.We was at a party with one of her old friends and her boyfriend when after a good few drinks i noticed her being unusually over... Hi all!
Ive been in a seriouse relationship with my girlfriend for 3 years now and are planning our engagement,i was sure she was the one for me until a few weeks ago.We was at a party with one of her old friends and her boyfriend when after a good few drinks i noticed her being unusually over friendly with her friends boyfriend,constantly offering to pour him drinks etc trivial things but it was this that made me notice that everything he did she mirrored,she kept staring at him then looking at me to see if i was looking then giving him nervouse glances,its sounds stupid but he would for example pick up his phone she would then wait a few seconds then do the same,he would rub his head she would do the same,this went on for hours and i was starting to get the red mist and felt like putting this guy to sleep,but i calmed myself and said i wanted to go as it was late,she kept saying she wanted to stay although it was getting on 7am and he would give her a lift home.It may not seem like a big deal and i feel stupid,am i overreacting? is this just me being stupid? its in my mind all the time and ive asked her about it but she just denies it and says maybe she was doing these things but its just coincidence,like i sad it happened for hours and about 50 times,cant be coincidence,so shes lying to me also,apart from her being a great beautifull person the thing that i loved about her was that i felt so trusting in her,im not sure if i canntrust her anymore ]]> Down in the Dumps mark999 http://www.relationship-forums.com//showthread.php?t=26085 http://www.relationship-forums.com//showthread.php?t=26084&goto=newpost Mon, 06 Sep 2010 19:46:17 GMT Hey guys, so I've been out of the dating game for quite a while and have definitely been going through a dry spell since my last relationship ended few months ago. I'm a 21 year old male college student. Anyways, yesterday one of my close friends invited me to come out to a bar with him. So I met up with him and he brought a very cute girl with him, one of his friends. Initially the vibe between me and her was pretty cold and casual. She was talking to him most of the night. Some other of his friends joined us throughout the night. As we got more drinks though, she really started warming up to me. I escalated a little bit of playful touching, just playfully putting my arm around her, getting in pictures with her, etc. We danced a bit and she grinded against me. We were both relatively drunk, but still very much in control.

Anyways, we had a few beers and a few kamikazes. My friend was definitely trying to help me hook up with her and he told me he thought she was interested. So I sat next to her in a booth and we talked about stuff. She mentioned that she doesn't like assholes and wouldn't want to date one, and I told her I was definitely not an asshole. She also said she was a relationship-type girl not a hook-up type, which is cool with me because I'm more a relationship guy myself. We had a few quick kisses and the others in our group definitely noticed the vibe. I did get the feeling I was trying a bit too hard and for a few minutes she seemed to pull back because I was being too clingy. But once my friend told me to ease back a bit, things went smoothly. We were talking and holding hands for most of the night.

Our group was walking home, and I invited them all to my place to hang. We all talked for a while, and one of the guys in our group knew I was trying to spend some alone time with her so he was able to convince the others to leave. She and I were alone for a while, and we started kissing on my bed. She didn't want to go the whole way, because she said she doesn't do that on the first meeting. She had to go home because she had a meeting this morning. But she gave me her number and said we should meet for lunch this week. I helped her get a cab home.

So now, I have several issues/questions I'd love some help with. In terms of scheduling lunch, we already figured out a time, but not a place. So is it better for me to call her or just text her to set something up since it's not really a date date? Also, if we do go to lunch, am I expected to pay for both of us? What are some other ways I can ensure that our conversations go as smoothly sober and during the day as they did tipsy and late at night? Is there some way to break any possible awkward tension from a drunken hookup? How do I maintain the attraction going forward and hopefully transition this into something more long term? I know it might be a bit weird for me, because last night the bar was crowded and our friends were all around us, so it wasn't like we could have real serious convo, but at lunch by ourselves, I'll definitely need to be more interesting and hold her attention without out looking needy. What are some tips that work for you guys on 2nd dates? Any help would be greatly appreciated. ]]> The Game - Dating and Kissing kyahua1 http://www.relationship-forums.com//showthread.php?t=26084 http://www.relationship-forums.com//showthread.php?t=26083&goto=newpost Mon, 06 Sep 2010 19:37:02 GMT Hey guys, so I've been out of the dating game for quite a while and have definitely been going through a dry spell since my last relationship ended few months ago. I'm a 21 year old male college student. Anyways, yesterday one of my close friends invited me to come out to a bar with him. So I met up with him and he brought a very cute girl with him, one of his friends. Initially the vibe between me and her was pretty cold and casual. She was talking to him most of the night. Some other of his friends joined us throughout the night. As we got more drinks though, she really started warming up to me. I escalated a little bit of playful touching, just playfully putting my arm around her, getting in pictures with her, etc. We danced a bit and she grinded against me. We were both relatively drunk, but still very much in control.

Anyways, we had a few beers and a few kamikazes. My friend was definitely trying to help me hook up with her and he told me he thought she was interested. So I sat next to her in a booth and we talked about stuff. She mentioned that she doesn't like assholes and wouldn't want to date one, and I told her I was definitely not an asshole. She also said she was a relationship-type girl not a hook-up type, which is cool with me because I'm more a relationship guy myself. We had a few quick kisses and the others in our group definitely noticed the vibe. I did get the feeling I was trying a bit too hard and for a few minutes she seemed to pull back because I was being too clingy. But once my friend told me to ease back a bit, things went smoothly. We were talking and holding hands for most of the night.

Our group was walking home, and I invited them all to my place to hang. We all talked for a while, and one of the guys in our group knew I was trying to spend some alone time with her so he was able to convince the others to leave. She and I were alone for a while, and we started kissing on my bed. She didn't want to go the whole way, because she said she doesn't do that on the first meeting. She had to go home because she had a meeting this morning. But she gave me her number and said we should meet for lunch this week. I helped her get a cab home.

So now, I have several issues/questions I'd love some help with. In terms of scheduling lunch, we already figured out a time, but not a place. So is it better for me to call her or just text her to set something up since it's not really a date date? Also, if we do go to lunch, am I expected to pay for both of us? What are some other ways I can ensure that our conversations go as smoothly sober and during the day as they did tipsy and late at night? Is there some way to break any possible awkward tension from a drunken hookup? How do I maintain the attraction going forward and hopefully transition this into something more long term? I know it might be a bit weird for me, because last night the bar was crowded and our friends were all around us, so it wasn't like we could have real serious convo, but at lunch by ourselves, I'll definitely need to be more interesting and hold her attention without out looking needy. What are some tips that work for you guys on 2nd dates? Any help would be greatly appreciated. ]]> Flirtation Location kyahua1 http://www.relationship-forums.com//showthread.php?t=26083 http://www.relationship-forums.com//showthread.php?t=26082&goto=newpost Mon, 06 Sep 2010 18:35:22 GMT Hi, Im Dave.

Me and this girl I love to death are dating. Things are getting bumpy and I saw this status:

"I'm seriously debating women as my next dating option. At least then, I could use all my romanticism and creativity to make someone else happy. I'm tired of waiting for a guy to get off his ass and be the dark, romantic, prince charming i've been waiting for. It's a hopeless idea."

She told me that basically she wants me to be the man, and be the "Dark Creative romantic" of her dreams. Now its now like I dont want to be that, because I feel that way on the inside, but I have little dating experience only ever dating her beyond a month period.

She wants me to come up with fun things to do and spend time with each other. But she doesnt want to "Hang out" in that sense. She said she wants me to think outside of the box and to come up with ideas that will impress her.

Thing is, I dont have anything to do around our area. And everything in this world cost money, and I just dont have that much extra money to spare now a days.

The hardest part is all the things I know she takes interest in are things she only wants to do alone. She hates public food places, she hates going for walks, she hates doing almost every generic idea for dating I can think of.

Please, Help me.

Give me some ideas for good, really un expensive dates and thigns to do with a loved one that would be considered "Dark and Romantic." I can handle being dark and romantic as a person, I can. I just never have a game plan that works. ]]> The Game - Dating and Kissing Davidcupp22 http://www.relationship-forums.com//showthread.php?t=26082 http://www.relationship-forums.com//showthread.php?t=26081&goto=newpost Mon, 06 Sep 2010 16:00:54 GMT I am currently having a problem with my girlfriend..she has changed a lot since we first met..she is very demanding now and everything has to be her way..in other words it's like she always has to be right..and when i try to come to a compromise she doesn't want to even consider hearing what i have to say..like there was one plate and one fork in the sink and she wanted them washed..i said i'd do it..but she wanted it done then and now and she never believes me when i say i'll do things..she never gives me a chance to prove myself..like my mother not letting me grow up for example when i was younger..then she wanted to go to bed and i wasn't tired and so she got furious..she acts like whenever she wants to go to sleep that i have to go to sleep too..so she purposely laid down pretty much on top of me on the side of the bed i was sitting on and she just got up then and turned off the tv in the middle of me watching it..she doens't care about my feelings at all it seems like she only cares about her feelings..she even cheated on me in the past..well she said we were broken up but its not true we were just arguing and she said she met her ex in the bar and went to his house..she said they STARTED having sex but then she said she thought about me and couldnt go all the way with him and so she said she stopped..i dont know whether to believe this or not..i forgave her and i have moved on i dont question her at all about it anymore..but she constantly brings up my ex to me and thinks that i still have feelings for my ex..i dont even talk to my ex at all..i was forced to talk to my ex after my girlfriend wrote her online telling her that i wanted her back just because she was mad at me..my ex called my house and i called her back asking her what the hell was going on..i had to explain that my gf was mad at me and that she was being childish..i mean talk about angry..i shouldnt have had to talk to my ex i didnt ever want to talk to her again anyways..and finally my gf calls me telling me that she wants to have sex and i live long distance and she starts saying that im not there for her when she wants to have sex and basically saying that if i dont come and have sex with her were done or she'll probably go have sex with somebody else..so a few days go by and shes not talking about having sex anymore and i got kind of worryed but i didnt say anything..then i went to see her and she starts treating me really nice and she never treated me this nice since we first got together..she said it was because she missed me..but at the same time she picks fights with me over the littlest things and i feel as if shes trying to cover up something like a guilty conscience..i dont know what to do..i cant change her..i know i cant have her treat me better by just asking because she'll just say that i treat her like shit..i dont even do anythgin to her that is wrong..i clean up after her..i come to her house and her house is a complete disaster its in the same condition it is when i leave and come back every time..and she gets on me about washing a single plate and a fork when theres no way i could tell her to clean her room right away..its like everything has to be her way when she wants it or not at all..and she doesnt seem to care what i have to say about it..i dont know what to do and i dont know if shes trying to cover anything up with her aggressive behavior either..please help!!! ]]> Down in the Dumps brick1212 http://www.relationship-forums.com//showthread.php?t=26081 http://www.relationship-forums.com//showthread.php?t=26080&goto=newpost Mon, 06 Sep 2010 08:04:59 GMT ok so when i lay down i usually get acid reflux normally but i seem to get it really bad when i'm either on my back masturbating or having sex in pretty much any postition... any clues? ]]> The Sex Shop redswr http://www.relationship-forums.com//showthread.php?t=26080 http://www.relationship-forums.com//showthread.php?t=26079&goto=newpost Mon, 06 Sep 2010 06:06:31 GMT A little bit about me: i'm 18, male, just started college, love music, guitar, and video games. I've never really had a girlfriend before and I would really like to improve myself to help me in that area. I just dont know how to go about doing that, so any advice would be helpful.

- I have close to no self-confidence and self-esteem.
- I am extremely pessimistic and I over-think every single thing way way too much. - this makes me a horrible decision maker as well.
- im pretty positive i have some sort of social anxiety disorder - im normal with my friends but im really terrible at and hate meeting new people, icebreaker-type things, etc. and its really really hard to make new friends and "put myself out there."
- I keep stressing about trying to impress girls and whatnot. I've never had a girlfriend and I have a mindset that my life is just empty without one.
- Being addicted to video games is also a really big thing for me. For the past 8 years, I was/am an addictive gamer and its pretty much ruined my life. I'd play 5-10 hours a day minimum, and im guessing thats where my problems of social anxiety disorder, and having no self-confidence/esteem started up because I never did anything all throughout middle and high school except sit at home and play games all day which probably affected how I am today.

What can I do to change these things? I think the majority of all my problems is about my mind and my way of thinking, but I don't know what to do for that type of thing...maybe therapy? ]]> Mirror Mirror... JYH http://www.relationship-forums.com//showthread.php?t=26079 http://www.relationship-forums.com//showthread.php?t=26078&goto=newpost Mon, 06 Sep 2010 06:05:53 GMT I've known this girl for a little over a year now. I used to like her when I first met her but that didn't work out for me, but we became really close friends. My question is though, is that i feel jealous/mad (i think?) r when guys flirt with heover fb or she talks to me about another guy. But when i'm with her in person, I don't feel any attraction to her at all other than that shes pretty. I'm not like this with any of my other girl-friends so I'm wondering if I really do like her, or whats going on? The other weird thing I noticed is that as soon as I'm attracted to another girl other than her, that new girl completely wipes her out of my mind. but when i get over that girl or stop liking her, i go right back to the same girl with the jealously thing. ]]> Flirtation Location JYH http://www.relationship-forums.com//showthread.php?t=26078 http://www.relationship-forums.com//showthread.php?t=26076&goto=newpost Mon, 06 Sep 2010 05:21:12 GMT Ok so my girlfriend and i have been going out for a little over a year and two months now. We've had our ups and downs along the way, but for the most part we've shared a very happy relationship. We are both in college, entering our sophomore years at different schools, about 2 hours apart from one another. Last year, we did our best to visit one another on weekends and it worked out for the most part. We had our share of conflicts, but we always seemed to work through them.

Well i just left for school last weekend, while she didn't leave until today. I thought everything was going fine until thursday night. Now let me say, we've talked every single night since i've been here and have texted throughout every day. Thursday night, my friends were hanging out and i was stuck doing hw until i finished and could go hang out. I called her because she was good at the hw i was doing and she helped me to finish it. When i finished, i told her i would call her a little later i was going to go hang out with my friends.

I left my phone apart from me, which was a mistake but i needed to let it charge. Anyways, when i got back which was no more than 2 hours later i had a text from her about my priorities. We talked for several hours on the phone after that, about how she felt like she was coming second to my friends. I told her that if i couldn't talk to her all the time, i would always call her later when i could. I dug myself deeper by using some stupid phrases, telling her if i was in the middle of a game it would be "rude for me to leave and go talk to her and i would call her when i was done" which i always did... Also i said that some of it was in her mind because she always came first in my mind.

We talked some more the next day and that just seemed to make things get worse. We finished the conversation friday afternoon saying that we would not talk again until saturday and take the night to relax. Unfortuneitly my emotions got the better of me and i sent her a long email basically explaining everything and apologizing for everything that i had said/done. She emailed me back that she didn't want me to email her and thought we weren't going to have any contact that night. She was even more upset.

The next day i texted her when i woke up and said and i quote: "Good morning. Sorry about the email, take all the time you need".

Four hours later i got the response from her, "Ok". And that was it. I haven't heard from her since that text message.

I know its her turn to make the next move but its killing me. I am physically feeling heart broken. I just want anyones opinion on where your guess would be i am. Do you think her response and need for time is a sign that she is done with me?

Like i've said, we've had our conflicts in the past but never anything this bad. I know it doesn't sound like long, but almost three days with nothing more than an "ok" from her is very unusual. I love this girl with all my heart, but i'm worried she is just trying to forget about me before breaking up. If thats the case, i want to know so i can prepare myself for it.

Any advice or help will be greatly appreciated. As of now, i have resisted every urge to contact her again. ]]> The Long Haul wnec http://www.relationship-forums.com//showthread.php?t=26076 http://www.relationship-forums.com//showthread.php?t=26074&goto=newpost Mon, 06 Sep 2010 04:46:02 GMT Hi,

I am 21 years old and just got my first boyfriend. I'm really not even sure what to expect or anything at this point. We have known each other for a while, but havent really talked until about a month ago (and that was just online). About 4 months ago he and his girlfriend of 5 years broke up. I'm not exactly sure what happened there though, but he said he made some mistakes, but learned a great deal from them. My guess is they both just grew and wanted different things. Its hard to decide in the 10th grade if you want to be with that person for the rest of your life. Anyways, he asked me out many, many times until I agreed. I was very reluctant because of the previous situation (the other girl was kind of a friend of mine, but we havent talked since high school).

Things were and have been going great. Right now though, I'm not sure if we're moving too fast and should slow down or if its ok. I tend to compare things to my twin's relationship with her boyfriend of 2 years. I have to remind myself that they've been together for a long time so it's not gonna be the same..and its different people, so that will affect it too.

We officially became a couple a week ago. When sitting at the house (his or mine), he likes to be affectionate and cuddle. Of course, theres nothing wrong with that, but not in front of parents or all the time. I dont always want to sit on him, etc. My twin got mad at me for it because her and her boyfriend arent like that.

A couple days ago he told me he loved me. I really didnt know what to say because it kind of surprised me. Like, how do you know you really love someone after a week from the first date? He said he's never had feelings so strong for someone before. Theres no way Im not ready to say I love you, or anything like that, and he knows it. I made sure to tell him that my feelings for him arent that strong right now. That was just kind of awkward for me. I mean, we barely know each other and learn more about one another every day. I also thought it was kinda weird that he took me to meet his parents after the first date, literally 20 minutes later.

He also wants to hang out like everyday. I guess theres nothing wrong with that, but after going from sitting at home every night to going out, I miss home. haha I want my space to hang out with family or just sit around the house (without him). He's out of school and all so he doesnt have to worry about that, but I've still got 2 semesters left that I've gotta concentrate on. Plus, I've got to worry about getting into the master's program. I think he's getting a bit too attatched.

I've always though I wanted a boyfriend, but now I'm not so sure. I mean, he makes me happy and is really sweet, but I dont know what to do. Are they always like this? Are things going too fast? Is there anything I could say to him?

Im usually a shy, quiet person thats afraid to hurt anyone's feelings, so that makes it harder for me to determine what I need/should do. I'm so confused right now. ]]> The Game - Dating and Kissing jubv89 http://www.relationship-forums.com//showthread.php?t=26074 http://www.relationship-forums.com//showthread.php?t=26071&goto=newpost Mon, 06 Sep 2010 04:09:30 GMT hey guys, ive fallen for a girl who i dont think has fallen for me but she really really likes me but doesnt want a relationship either and i do. i finally decided to tell her that i love her and that we should stop talking before i get hurt and she was not happy at all at the idea. she always... hey guys, ive fallen for a girl who i dont think has fallen for me but she really really likes me but doesnt want a relationship either and i do. i finally decided to tell her that i love her and that we should stop talking before i get hurt and she was not happy at all at the idea. she always hints that she likes to go out party drink etc etc pretty much meaning she loves the single life. any help guys? what should i do? do i keep persuing jsut cause im in love? or should i jsut throw in the towel before i get hurt? ]]> Down in the Dumps mazo21 http://www.relationship-forums.com//showthread.php?t=26071 http://www.relationship-forums.com//showthread.php?t=26070&goto=newpost Mon, 06 Sep 2010 03:29:10 GMT I was kind of thinking about this tonight and wondering why I have such a hard time attracting women. So the question here is what exactly makes a guy undesirable.

Let's try to skip over the obvious stuff like:
- Being obsessed with them or an ex
- Putting themselves down
- Arrogance
- Funny smells or bad dressers
Basically anything everyone already knows that makes a guy undesirable. ]]> The Game - Dating and Kissing PhillyCheese http://www.relationship-forums.com//showthread.php?t=26070