Getting stale? (semi-rant)

[PepsiWonder]

Okay, here's the situation. My boyfriend and I are in a LDR, so on and so forth, don't get to see each other very much at all. He's movin out here by the next school year for sure. Buuut.. lately it feels like we're falling more out of love than in it. We're both busy (he moreso than I, because he's a senior) but it's kind of depressing. Case in point: last night, he calls. We talk for 2 hours. Except the first hour was mostly silence. I think there were 10 minute stretches where we didn't say anything. After a while it got better cause I got him to talk a little, but lately I feel like I'm doing all the talking. He's under a lot of stress (besides the aforementioned senior-ness, his family's somewhat falling apart and that's no good) but.. it makes it hard on me because I feel like I'm pulling more weight than him, and it should be equal. To add to this, our year anniversary is in a little over a week, and I'm afraid that it's going to be a big flop. I miss joking and being dumb with him. So um.. what's your guys's take on it?

[Shocka]

It sounds to me like you wll have to talk to him about what's happening. As you say, it sounds like you're drifting apart, and you'll have to ask each other why.

[nicruns]

every relationship has its ups and downs. you can get through tjis if you both still care about eachother. the key is communication. talk to eachother ABOUT what is really bothering you. i know it seems hard to get him to talk but if he knows you're serious he should open up :)

[Bravehearter]

Its one of those 'bumps on the road' as my gf calls them. But the only way that things are going to get better is if you talk and get things out in the open. Good luck!

[Mooch]

LDR's are tough.

Talking to a disembodied voice on the phone just isn't the same thing as thalking in person, and just because an LDR seems to be sluggish doesn't mean you won't be perfectly happy once you get back together again in person.

If the two of you won't be moving near to each other any time in the forseeable future, you migth want to consider breaking up, but if it won't be that long to wait, you migth consider toughing it out.

I know my gf doesn't really like talking on the phone, and she's almost not the smae person as she is in real life, because of that. So even though our phone conversations are slow sometimes, there's no problems when we're together.

[zoe]

These are what I have concluded about LDRs, from my experiances, and others:

1. Some people are mental people, they are much better in LDRs. Those that are visual people, easily fall out of love if they can't "see" it.

2. The hardest thing is to transition from a relationship where you do everything together to a LDR. However, if the relationship is an LDR the entire time, it seems to be easier.

3. It's hard to keep you from growing apart if you can't connect at the level you used to. Calls of stress, just bringing you down, obviously aren't going to make you love him more.. right?

I think that you two have a lot to work on, and that you just might be able to work it out - but I also think that if you're becoming unhappy with it, you need to take a break and see what other possibilities are, or, just break up. Don't make a hasty decision though.

Good luck!

[indigold]

I firmly believe that good successful LDR's are possible if you both want it bad enough. I agree- you should have a talk about it and his views of the relationship. You should talk over both your problems and see what you can do about it, whether the relationship is worth having.

just wondering-
how often do you see each other?