dinner with the parents

[Deidre]

To clarify the topic, no, this isn't about having dinner with your significant other's parents... been there, done that (and vice versa). It is, however, about your parents having dinner with your significant other's parents.

I want your horror and your success stories in this department.

The thing is, my boyfriend's parents will be invited over here for dinner some time before the summer/early summer. I'm a little worried about it. Not a lot, but a little. I'm slightly worried at how my parents will act, mostly because I think my mother will try too hard. My boyfriend's parents are muslims, my parents are very liberal, a bit pantheistic, Lutherans, so my mother is very curious and at the same time very... eager... not to do anything wrong... such as serve pork, and oh, what will she serve with dinner, they're not supposed to have alcohol etc... which is considerate, but she's overdoing it.
...my boyfriend's reaction was something along the lines of "Meet my parents? Why? Nobody has ever wanted to meet my parents before."

I guess I wouldn't be so worried if my 12 years older brother didn't bring home his fiancée's parents for the first time six months ago and my 8 years older brother had ever had a girlfriend... he's got problems I wont go into here, but I have issues with everything that makes me seem grown up, such as going to the university, moving out, etc., because it forces me to move past my older brother who is... well... handicapped... you can't see it, of course. Anyway, that's not the point, so enough about my brother. :-?

[EaCS]

I've been involved in one of these "meet the family" things before with my sister and my now brother-im-law. It can be quite awkward, because no one is at ease and you can sense it from everyone else. When I first met my brother-in-laws parents I stayed for a while and was pleasant, but as soon as a I found a good enough excuse I was off to leave the parents to it.

Once the initial awkwardness is over I think it should probably be fine, from my experience everyone is far too self-aware to say anything trully embarassing.

[Kuky]

Your boyfriend could have a talk with your parents about all this. He is in a good position to help, as he knows his parents best, and probably (definitely) wants things to go well.

Kuky

[zoe]

Sabatoge. Before-hand, of course.

Reminds me of an episode of 7th Heaven (don't ask why I was watching that crap).

Don't worry about it.. if something happens, it shouldn't change your relationship with each other. And it can't be that bad.. can it?

[kuju]

lol... reminds me of my post in the sticky in this forum:

we're looking at approximately 6 months as a real long term. serious. exclusive. parents have met, and had dinner with EACH OTHER. that kind of stuff.

Have him talk to your parents... serve water and/or juice at the dinner, roast beef or chicken is always acceptable (assuming there's no taboo there either) set things up. have something to talk about to *gently* interrupt your mother when she goes into crazy mode.

[Deidre]

Yes, yes, I know how to handle my parents... and as I said I'm not particularly worried about it. Just slightly. Mostly it's not even about the fact that they're meeting, but the fact that I have to face passing my 8 years older brother. It was 'traumatic' enough to realise that he wasn't "like everyone else", but passing him academically, emotionally and 'evolutionary' (growing up) at 18, when he's 26, isn't something that comes easy. I live in fear for the day my parents are gone, or can't take care of him anymore. I don't know how to deal with him and our brother (I have 4 siblings, but he's only related to one of them) says we can't be responsible for him and we need to focus on our own familes etc. It's just a mess. :P

Hehe. The problem isn't to have my boyfriend talk to my parents... the problem is to get him to stop. :) He likes my mum.

And yes, Kuju, chicken never fails. Everyone likes chicken and I can't think of a single religion it's a taboo in. :D

[Shocka]

Ah yes, I remember that step in the relationship. It was a doozy. At first, we only planned on eating her parents, but then mine got trapped in the Greenhouse/Oven, so we had to cook them all on High for 47 seconds until golden brown. It served us for months afterwards, but it was tricky at the time.

[Crash Override]

Coming from a Muslim family myself, the fact that his parents even LET him have a girlfriend, and are even WILLING to meet your parents, suggests that they are leaps and bounds more progressive than most Muslims.
If my parents ever even found out that I've dated plenty of girls or that I have a girlfriend of nearly 7 months, I'd be thrown out of the house and the locks would be changed.

Don't serve alcohol or pork, is really the only rule I can think of. It'd be better if you didn't drink any alcohol at all during their stay. You could also have the men at one end of the table and the women at the other (Muslims don't believe in mixing between sexes, but if his parents let him have a girlfriend, then obviously these Muslims don't subscribe to that theory). With dinner, you can serve water, any type of juice, or soft drinks (Coke/Pepsi, 7Up, etc.). After dinner, tea or Turkish coffee is good.

Like I said, they must be supremely understanding to even let this whole dinner thing happen, so I'm sure that no matter what happens, even if EVERYTHING goes wrong, things will be fine.

[Kuky]

Everyone likes chicken and I can't think of a single religion it's a taboo in. :D

Perhaps I should create one :)

[nicruns]

lol... reminds me of my post in the sticky in this forum:

we're looking at approximately 6 months as a real long term. serious. exclusive. parents have met, and had dinner with EACH OTHER. that kind of stuff.


i cant exactly agree, my parents have been married almost 20 years and their parents have NEVER met eachother. i must say that they are still in a long term relationship inspite of this :-?

[kuju]

sorry nicruns... but doesn't that seem a little... well... fucked up to you? I mean, didn't they meet at the wedding? or, say your parents eloped, AFTER? it's rather... odd.

Good luck with the dinner hon!

[zoe]

(Make sure to let us know what happens!)

[ArRoWLeGeNd]

i also dread that day :o , i mean what am i suppose to say when her dad asks that dreaded question, "what are you intentions with my daughter"?

~ArRoWLeGeNd~

[Deidre]

i also dread that day :o , i mean what am i suppose to say when her dad asks that dreaded question, "what are you intentions with my daughter"?

"To love her, care for her and treat her the way she should be treated... sir."
:)

[BigJim]

"...to fuck her brains out"

[ArRoWLeGeNd]

i also dread that day :o , i mean what am i suppose to say when her dad asks that dreaded question, "what are you intentions with my daughter"?

"To love her, care for her and treat her the way she should be treated... sir."
:)

i figured that if i say something along the lines of that her dad would know im sucking up and pull out the shotgun :(

~ArRoWLeGeNd~

[Deidre]

i figured that if i say something along the lines of that her dad would know im sucking up and pull out the shotgun
You have the wrong attitude... you're not suppposed to be sucking up... you're supposed to mean it.

[ArRoWLeGeNd]

i figured that if i say something along the lines of that her dad would know im sucking up and pull out the shotgun
You have the wrong attitude... you're not suppposed to be sucking up... you're supposed to mean it.

oops i meant would think im sucking up :-?

~ArRoWLeGeNd~

[ps_tiger]

I retract my previous statement.

-A

[Deidre]

Umm, yes, but the question is on having your parents meet your significant other's parents. I'm sure we all have horror-stories of meetings/run-ins between us and our significant other's parents. :)
(such as the time my ex boyfriend's father walked in on us making out on the couch, stopped, apologised and left the room).

[super_chevy2000]

I never really had that problem because my bf and I had known each other since we were 5 and our parents had always known each other and gotten along very well with each other. Good luck!