Feeling crappy about being ditched

[Rammstein39]

I was all excited for the past week or more because Ive been kind of "seeing" this guy, and I reallllllly liked him and he was acting like he liked me too and all would go great. Im coming home from school soon to go home and see him, and so we made all these plans....movies, food, etc. The other night he was being so sweet talking to me online and all and I was even more excited to come home and see him in a few days.

But then, last night he was telling me about this other girl. He met her at work (he had seen her there before working and then he got a job there). Turns out she used to be the drummer for my stupid little band I had in HS! He has a date planned out with her for today, but I can tell he is so into her. While we we talking, he brought her up, or mentioned how they met, constantly.

I was supportive of him, because we are really good friends and have been for a while. But then I said something like "You're so lucky, nothing like that happens to me." We got in this whole discussion where he told me Im not trying hard enough to get guys. He said I should be giving my number to anyone Im interested in, and start going out more. I got really upset, but now I think it was less about what he said, and more about how now I have nothing to look forward to when I go home, and our plans have been ruined.

Thus the dilema begins: Do I see how his date goes with this new girl and proceed from there based on what happens? Or do I just forget about him (which may be hard b/c we are really good friends)? Also, should i do what he says and be actively going after guys, or should I just not care and wait to see if someone comes along?

[Lone_Raider]

Well here's the deal. Neither of you were exclusive so he's dating around, that's what dating is in the early phases and you can date more then one person during that time. You should probably be doing the same, don't count this guy out yet because who knows maybe you will end up together, but you should be out there trying to date other people as well in case that doesn't happen. I've been sort of going out with two girls right now, I try and keep things very light and I don't plan to do everything with either one as I'm not exactly sure which one I like more right now. Of course there is a girl #3 who I like the most but is also the hardest one to get out on dates with despite the fact that we talk a lot, so that old saying proves true haha.

However, my point is, there is nothing wrong with seeing multiple people when you haven't fully decided on one yet. At some point after dating for a while you have to chose one, but untill that time both he and you have full right to be seeing other people in addition to each other. It's up to you whether you want to be more active or wait and see who else comes along.

[Rammstein39]

You're totally right. I have gone out on one other date and thats fine. I thought about ti and he and I talked again today and I decided that Im not upset over him dating, im more upset over the fact that we had plans and now I feel a lil uncomfortable knowing that maybe he is thinking about someone else when we hang out. I dont want to seem like Im hindering him from dating her though. But when we talked he said we could still hang out because, Like you said, LR, he is still single.

I guess I'll have to just wait and see