What would girls think of a guy not needing a girl?

[AGoodGuy]

I don't need a girlfriend. I don't want one NOW or in any time I CAN SEE in the future. I simply don't have time and have other things to do. I tell the matchmakers, "Don't you dare."

Yet, despite this, girls keep trying to flirt with me, trying to match me up, etc! It is like there is some conspiracy to get me a girlfriend (next time I will make up a phantom girlfriend so I won't go through all this).

Some girls don't know that I'm not looking. They just know that I am single (and, apparently, they must think I'm pretty cute) because every now and then they'll flirt and try.

I don't flirt. I don't do anything to get their interest. I don't understand why, like a cycle, it happens again and again.

Sadly, I think I am frustrating many girls. It's not that I mean to, it is just happening.

So what I want to know is WHAT DO YOU GIRLS think of a guy in my situation? I know it must be a bit different of a guy not looking for a girlfriend no matter what girl comes up to him, so I'm curious.

PS- No, I am NOT gay.

[pandoragoddess]

i'm like that when i see absolutely no dating prospects. i go with the idea that i don't want anyone. yet that changes when i find someone i like. so then i guess i can safely say i don't want JUST a boyfriend for the sake of having one...i want someone who i actually like.

i was like that and then i fell for someone and now we're dating and i don't feel that way anymore. but i felt like that for practically a year.

i find absolutely nothing wrong with someone who feels as you do. there may be numerous reasons as to why you aren't interested in having a relationship right now. maybe you are too focused on something else. maybe you aren't interested in a relationship because you haven't met anyone YOU find worthy of being with. and all of that is perfectly fine, and perfectly acceptable, no matter the reason. the important thing is that you're happy, and that you know you can do as you please. being the person you are is only going to better you in the future.

not to mention it also makes for quite an attractive trait for a guy to have. :wink: not that it matters to you right now or anything..

[Asphodelle13]

Well of course no one should need a gf/bf. That would make for quite a needy relationship. Tell these girls to back off(or tell them you're gay..lol j/k :P )..Keep them all as friends at least. You'll have more fun that way. If you can be happy single then that's awesome. Maybe you just haven't met the right girl. Sometimes I think its when you least expect it that you'll meet that special someone, so just keep an eye out for her. 8)

[Anthropolemic]

Or, just pretend like you're trying real hard for a relationship despite the fact that you aren't; when I'm trying hard for a relationship, no one notices me. :P*

* Your mileage may vary.

[Hatlicks18]

You dont have to be in a relationship to "hook up" every so often. There are two types of girls; the ones you date for awhile, and the ones you mess around with once or twice and no strings are attached. Whats stopping you from that second type of girl.

Brian

[zoe]

Girls want what they can't have! Since you're saying you don't want a girlfriend, girls must be flocking at the chance to be the special girl that "breaks you". :cool3:

[Jebus]

Girls want what they can't have! Since you're saying you don't want a girlfriend, girls must be flocking at the chance to be the special girl that "breaks you". :cool3:

That works?!?!

....hmmmm :D

[PyroNymph]

I know exactly how you feel. I have the same problem (only with guys :roll: ) It's seriously annoying/frustrating. And I feel really bad cuz it always seems to be the really sweet guys who ask me out and they get all obviously nervous and stuff, it's so cute... but I just can't go out with them. Even if I'm attracted to them physically and stuff, I just have no desire to have a boyfriend right now, or anytime in the near future.

so, yeah, I understand.
:roll:

[Wrightman84]

you always want what you can't have... happens with guys and girls, you want the one girl that you know you can't have! [arg that drives me nuts!]

[Deidre]

you always want what you can't have... happens with guys and girls, you want the one girl that you know you can't have!]
Doesn't that mean everyone should be really really desperate for their ex's...? Or doesn't it apply when you've already had them? Hmm... no, I don't think that's true, actually. Everyone would be too obsessed with famous people to care... and would want to dump people once "the game" was over.

That saying... you always want what you can't have... I don't believe in it. No. There are things I want which I probably can't have, sure, but I tend to give up on those and get myself attainable goals instead. I'm not looking to be a fighter pilot anymore; I know I can't because of my eyes, so I don't go around dreaming about it (gave that up when I got my glasses, in 4th grade). I think most people are the same... either that or I'm friends with an awfully cynical lot of people (which is true, but still)....

[chuck_d]

If I were you I'd just live with it. Them trying to fix you up with people is at the very least an easy way to meet possibly interesting individuals. If you were to go out for the night with someone they fixed you up with, you have full control over what happens. If you don't want a relationship, nobody's forcing you.

Personally, I'm also not looking for anything serious, just looking to meet new people and go out for a good time. If someone wants to set me up or something, unless I already know the person and don't enjoy spending time with them, then I'll usually say yes -- its rare that one of my friends introduces me to someone that I actually dislike.

If you're worried about frustrating them, then so be it. Personally, they're probably quite happy being hung up with fixing you up -- as they think they're doing you a big favour, and it's obviously a challenge they want to take on. Best of luck to ya -- there are a lot of guys who would probably want to trade places with you. My advice is to try and make the best of it, you're control.

[dulcinea]

I think it's totally cool when a guy knows and isn't afraid to say that he doesn't need a girl. Because, if I were a guy, that would be me.

If there's one thing I can't stand, it's people who "need" to have somebody all the damned time. I know a very lovely girl who has been through four long-term relationships in the last two years; the longest she has been single in that time is about a week and a half, and that was because the guy was killed in a car accident, which would make it quite rude to hook up with someone else right away. Her average length of between-relationship time is approximately three days. It saddens me that she's so insecure. I want to grab her and yell, "Dammit! Be independent! Learn to love yourself; you can't rely on boys to do it for you!"

For some reason, the neediness thing happens more to girls than guys. *shrugs*

Anyway, I am totally cool with it. Plus, when you're a chick, and you know that a guy doesn't want a relationship of any sort, it makes him easier to be friends with. Takes all the pressure off. It's like hanging out with a gay guy (I'm not implying that you're gay, so please don't hurt me). When you know he's not interested, you don't have to worry about "Am I leading him on? Is he hitting on me?" etc. That's why girls flock to gay guys- they feel safe, they don't have to worry about what his intentions are for them.

At least, that's my theory. :cool3:

[AbnormalBob]

currently im like that, i broke up with my gf like 3 weeks ago, and i really dont feel the need for a relationship in the near future

even though, the idea of my real crush going out with someone is somewhat heartbreaking(i asked her out last year, she said no :()

[1Diamond Tiara]

Yeah i'd say more girls are very attracted to you b/c you are independent and don't need a girl right now or in the near future.
There is something sexy about a person that is happy and stable with themselves. so that would explain it.
i know the times i am on the lookout *(sad way the world works)* there seems to be a guy drought, but when i'm just happy and not looking- its raining men baby :)

[AGoodGuy]

Hey, thanks for all the responses! You girls are great! ;)

One thing I'm astonished is how VICIOUS some girls get. First, they go and call you GAY. I bet their conversations are like, "PSST, that guy doesn't want a GF." "What is wrong with him? IS HE GAY?" Eventually, they begin to see that you're NOT gay. Then they try to MATCH you up with some homely girl (as if it is some revenge).

I've noticed a hostility. It's gotten bad enough that the manager at my work told them to leave me alone.

I'm amazed at how girls react to this (though you forum girls are cool and understand). If a girl said that she wasn't looking for anyone, guys would back off. But if a guy says it, it seems to draw them in!

I'm tired of proving that I'm not gay. What is the best way to explain my 'singleness' to girls so they finally understand? I've tried before but they don't believe me (!). So, as girls, what would be the best way to explain (so those girls understand)?

[dulcinea]

Hey, thanks for all the responses! You girls are great! ;)

One thing I'm astonished is how VICIOUS some girls get. First, they go and call you GAY. I bet their conversations are like, "PSST, that guy doesn't want a GF." "What is wrong with him? IS HE GAY?" Eventually, they begin to see that you're NOT gay. Then they try to MATCH you up with some homely girl (as if it is some revenge).

I've noticed a hostility. It's gotten bad enough that the manager at my work told them to leave me alone.

I'm amazed at how girls react to this (though you forum girls are cool and understand). If a girl said that she wasn't looking for anyone, guys would back off. But if a guy says it, it seems to draw them in!

I'm tired of proving that I'm not gay. What is the best way to explain my 'singleness' to girls so they finally understand? I've tried before but they don't believe me (!). So, as girls, what would be the best way to explain (so those girls understand)?

Sounds like you're dealing with some (pardon my lack of subtlety) real bitches. Quite frankly, no matter how you explain it to them, they're probably still going to call you gay. Their motivation all depends on how they are- they might be egotistical enough that their mentality goes along the lines of, "What, he doesn't want to get with someone as great/hot/whatever as ME? He MUST be gay!" I know girls that would say things like that, I fear. Either that, or they'll pull something like what zoe said- you tell them you want to be single, they want to be the one that makes you change your mind. It's almost a thing of pride for some. Kinda sad. :roll:

Let's face it- you do not owe them any sort of explanation for how you are. If you don't want a relationship, then you don't want a relationship, and they can just deal with that. Just do whatever it is that you want to do. If they don't like it... sucks to be them.

You can't win 'em all.

[1Diamond Tiara]

Yeah they sound egotistical to me. they probably like u and are pissed off that ur not looking for a girl.
now i know this may be a stereotype but maybe they have that concept in their head - how guys are very sexual beings, always looking at girls etc. And if they're not looking for a girl = must be gay.
or maybe they are just irritating u on purpose to get their kicks but they know ur not gay. i went to an all girls school and many girls used to call some male teachers gay even though they weren't. immaturity i guess.

[sunfrost]

Think the more a mistery you are the more girls are interested in you just to figure you out. Or that's what I have with girls.

Don't ignore people I would say, be nice to them. Flirting doesn't have to mean something. I flirt with girls even if they have a bf. You have to know how you relate to eachother in those cases it doesn't matter. Explain that you aren't looking but don't stop flirting for that matter. Flirting will make girls feel wanted/appreciated, but as said doesn't have to mean a thing.

It's pretty bad to give a nice girl (but it seem they are bitches anyway) the impression that she isn't worth a blink of an eye. Thats screems something like, "Girl you are ugly".

Keep them as friends, most of the time that's enough. I'm not the type to go hunting for girls but I can't live without them. So inbetween serious relations I'm having a good time with girl friends.