Treat em mean keep them keen

[Juan]

there an old phrase 'treat them mean keep them keen', does it work?

ive been in a relationship with my current gf for 4 months now and its going well without any major dramas althought there have been a few minor issues which havent been blow out of proportion which is good. shes one of those girls who has a little bit of trouble expressing her feelings and hides that by sometimes being a little bit harsh/bitchy with things she says althought she might not exactly mean the things that come out of her mouth. i guess she gives me a bit of shit which i usually take pretty well...

im a sensitive guy who doesnt create or like to argue or fight id rather take the crap and get on with things that create an issue, having said that if im upset i will definatly let her know. ill avoid an argument if possible.

i guess she fits into the treat them mean phrase, as in she treats me mean to keep me keen but i dont treat her like that, shes told me im the best guy shes ever been with and im her longest relationship shes had so i believe her. i guess im pretty nice and i treat her pretty well!!! can you be to nice and do girls not like that? im worried she might get bored even though im not a boring guy... she always wants to see me and i stay at her house a fair bit.

i think im being a little bit paranoid/insecure even though she knows shes very lucky to have been and shes told me that, sometimes its just nice for her love to be shown which she does do just not all the time. maybe i should not be so nice so she doesnt take me for granted....i dont want her to realise what we had if its to late.... we both love each other and i dont want it to end!

[Burro]

That saying is retarded. Noone wants to be with someone who treats them like crap, HOWEVER, adapt the saying and it works beautifully. Adapt the saying like such:

Treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen.

Change that to:
Don't be a vagina and stick up for yourself.

Don't cave to their every whim, but don't be a total asshole either.

[Crushed]

Sounds like this chick's trying to get you whipped.

My advice, is if she keeps treating you like that, or it gets worse, find someone worth your time. =P

[Crash Override]

While yes, it's true that in most cases beating a woman is the best way to keep her in line, in most countries that isn't a legal option.

All you have to do to keep a girl (or guy) interested is to maintain your own life.
Some people bend over backwards to please their partner, sacrificing their own freedom and doing everything they can just to make their partner happy. This is what drives people away, this is how you get taken for granted, and this is why you ultimately get dumped. You can still treat a girl well, but maintain your own life.

For example; let's say I've had a long day and I'm tired. I just want to go home and veg out. My girlfriend calls, wanting me to come over to her place so we could hang out. I could drag my tired ass over to her house and do my best to keep her entertained/happy/whatever (the doormat/pussy option), or I could just tell her, "Look, honey, I'm really tired. How about tomorrow?" This is the manly, correct option because it shows that you have self-respect enough not to cater to her every whim, and that you're willing to put yourself first.

Some people might consider this "asshole" behaviour; and yes, if you're always blowing off your girlfriend to spend time with the guys or to dick around at home, then yes, you're an asshole. You should still spend time with her, but you should do it when YOU want to. This also doesn't mean you can't still do nice things for her, and it doesn't mean you can't put her first occasionally. All it means is that she needs to know that in your life, YOU are number one, not her, and if being with her puts your happiness in jeopardy (i.e. she takes you for granted and walks all over you), then you won't be around.

The reason doormats and so-called "nice guys/girls" get shit on and abused all the time is because their partners/love interests KNOW without a doubt that you, as a nice guy/girl will ALWAYS put THEM first, so even if they treat you like crap, or get bored with you, or whatever, there's really nothing they can do to make you decide to leave them, so they take you completely for granted.

Basically, all you really have to do is be true to yourself, and the rest will follow.

[Danae]

Originally posted by Crash Override@May 31 2005, 09:03 AM
For example; let's say I've had a long day and I'm tired. I just want to go home and veg out. My girlfriend calls, wanting me to come over to her place so we could hang out. I could drag my tired ass over to her house and do my best to keep her entertained/happy/whatever (the doormat/pussy option), or I could just tell her, "Look, honey, I'm really tired. How about tomorrow?" This is the manly, correct option because it shows that you have self-respect enough not to cater to her every whim, and that you're willing to put yourself first.


I hate that. The latest kid I dated did that and it always just pissed me off and it didn't make me like him more and it just caused me to get angry and distant. I guess that's me being a neurotic girl, though heh. I do agree with Bil here, even though the actual act of not hanging out with me will not make me happy at all :lol:

If she's being mean to you it could be that she's testing you. I do it. I don't lay it on too thick or anything, but if you can't take a little bitchiness, some carefully planned mood swings, it'll be hard for me to be myself with you and to trust you. I want a guy to stick around through bad times, yes, but I also don't want him to be a doormat. I need a guy to reassure me whilst being firm with me, too. Are these two things mutually exclusive? I have a feeling I'm wanting too much at the same time heh.

[Juan]

Originally posted by Danae@Jun 1 2005, 12:28 PM
I hate that. The latest kid I dated did that and it always just pissed me off and it didn't make me like him more and it just caused me to get angry and distant. I guess that's me being a neurotic girl, though heh. I do agree with Bil here, even though the actual act of not hanging out with me will not make me happy at all :lol:

If she's being mean to you it could be that she's testing you. I do it. I don't lay it on too thick or anything, but if you can't take a little bitchiness, some carefully planned mood swings, it'll be hard for me to be myself with you and to trust you. I want a guy to stick around through bad times, yes, but I also don't want him to be a doormat. I need a guy to reassure me whilst being firm with me, too. Are these two things mutually exclusive? I have a feeling I'm wanting too much at the same time heh.
interesting point about being tested. i think she might be a little scared of losing me maybe because of how she acts sometimes, weird yes. i think she knows that she can be a bitch sometimes and say things she doesnt mean and i think shes a little worried she might say something one day which pushes me to far. i dunno im just thinking it might be the case. the test idea is a good one though as we are still fairly fresh in the relationship (4 months). she might be getting her boundaries set.

i dont let her walk all over me and i have my own life but i do want her to be happy and i dunno if i sometimes put that ahead of my own happiness, i might without even knowing it. i do want my girlfriend to feel good and want to be around me and if i know she wants to be around me ill normally want to see her.

i know one thing, i dont want to be a fucking doormat..... been there done that.. no fun