Something I wrote

[huh]

I wrote this at four in the morning because I couldn't get to sleep :P I usually never write about anything, so it's rare I guess. Anyways, here it is if you wanna read it.



Keep and hold it deep within.

Never let it out, struggling to hold on to a thread of sanity.
Gnawing from the inside out, a never ending calamity.
Scratching at the scab, watch as it breaks.
The cut runs deep, try to heal…but it never takes.

Keep and hold it deep within.

Infectious, assumed malice intent, don’t let others near.
Confine yourself, your wound, live inside their fear.
Keep to yourself, silence and bliss.
Ignorant thoughts being spoken, minds seem to miss.

Keep and hold it deep within

The wound opens up, don’t bother to heal.
Just sit back and watch…the pain is unreal
Having thoughts, but unable to express
Making sure they don’t develop, always repress.

Keep and hold it deep within.

Open and exposed now for all to see
Standing and staring, minds never free
Watch as the cut will fester and rot
Glad that I’m something most people are not.

Let it go…

[Asphodelle13]

It seems like your thoughts are a bit restricted by the rhyming scheme(which sounds forced at times). I did like the last stanza a lot though. The poem as a whole conveys a lot of pent up dark emotion. Good job, keep writing. :cool2:

[huh]

Originally posted by Asphodelle13@Apr 11 2005, 12:25 AM
It seems like your thoughts are a bit restricted by the rhyming scheme(which sounds forced at times). I did like the last stanza a lot though. The poem as a whole conveys a lot of pent up dark emotion. Good job, keep writing. :cool2:
Thanks for the feedback! Now that I go back and read it, some of the rhyming does sound forced. I didn't bother to really edit it after I finished since my brain wanted to give up on me at the time, heh.