What to do

[crazyb0i]

Alright, wasn't sure what forum to put this in so i just guessed.

So, i hung out a couple of times with this girl. We were hanging out at my house and we were watching a movie. I had my arm around here which she seemed to like. Also, i was laying on my bed, but i noticed how she seemed to not want to put her feet on the bed. She was laying in a way that looked very uncomfortable just so her feet would hang off the bed instead on putting them up. I told her she could if she wanted but she just said she wanted to keep em off.

After a while i started caressing her and that sort which she didn't seem to mind, but then i put my hand on her stomache and she kinda jumped. She like grabbed my hand and like held it in place(i wasn't moving it but she like was restraining it sort of). I can obviously tell that what i did bothered her so i moved it to her side. She had one of the belly short things so i was touching her skin. It seems that she really didn't like that and she grabbed my hand and moved it. Now after she moved it she was still holding it but i think that was just so she knew i wouldn't be touching her. I know trying to touch her after she moved my hand from her stomache was dumb but i thought it would be a spot she wouldn't mind.

After that i pretended i had to go do something so i could come back and position myself so i wasn't really touching her at all(didn't wanna cross the boundry again). She moved closer and then we held hands again.

I know alot of thats prolly dumb and useless details so sorry but w/e. Heres the question. If u were the girl, would that kinda stuff piss u off? Should i say something to her about it. I don't want her getting the idea im just interested in messing around. I moved too slow on all my previous relationships(according to my gf's at the time) so i was trying to go at what i thought the norm was. I haven't talked to her since but she seemed kinda freaked by it. Should i just try asking her to hangout again and show her through actions?

I know this prolly isn't a big deal but i think im the first guy that took interest in her and like i said, she seemed kinda freaked. Any opinions? Go easy with the poking fun at me, cause i know ur gonna.

[KatWoman]

I think your best bet is to ask her what's going on. I would ask her if she has a problem with you touching her that way, and ask her what her intentions are with you. I wouldn't attempt anything new with her until you did lay it all out. But I don't see the harm in continuing what you already do (and know is safe).

Or maybe she's just terribly ticklish.

[dtbmnec]

I, once long ago, did a similar thing. For me it was that I had conflicting feelings. I wanted to be with the guy but I had a very confusing childhood concerning sex and related stuff. On one hand I knew it was going to be good but on the other hand I "shouldn't give it up 'til marriage." It took me a week to kiss my (then) boyfriend! I did eventually do everything with him but it took me a while.

It doesn't necessarily have to be what I went through but it is a possibility. Definately talk to her, especially if she's not the type to open up first. If she does start talking to you and she's not sure exactly how to explain what she's feeling.......bear with her! It gets better with time!! And if she doesn't tell you exactly what she likes or what she wants don't worry too much about it. It took me a while to feel comfortable enough to say things like that and I'm still working on it (3 years later).

*shrugs* just another possibility....

Megan

[crazyb0i]

Alright, i guess i'll just have to talk to her about it. I'll be seeing her tomorrow in school, i thinking i'll ask her if she wants to go bowling or golf driving or something like that. Something where she wouldn't feel any pressure. I don't care about waiting if she feels unconfortable with that kinda stuff, i just want her to know that im not meaning to pressure her into anything.

[Knight Kate]

I agree she might be ticklish. I jumped a little when my boyfriend started touching my stomache, light touches to my stomache set off my tickle-sensor.

I would ask her outright what she's comfortable with though. It might have just been a combination of being on the bed and touching the stomache, what might not make her uncomfortable normally to her might have been, if she kinda felt out of her league. I might have felt that there were other intentions in a similar situation. Am I making sense?

[qtpa2t]

It could be she is unsure and I've done that if I'm ticklish or if they are touching my lovehandles too. I think you're right just ask her.

[MonkeyBoy]

You should ask her what her intentions are so that you don't mess it up.

I had an ex-girlfriend who hated to be touched and I got quite angry about it. I had a shouting match with her one day and it turned out that she had been raped in her teens and that's why she had a tough time with men touching her.

As you can guess I felt pretty crappy about it afterwards, but because we talked about it she felt more comfortable with me and we were able to work around the problem.

[Fun Lovin' Criminal]

She may also be self-conscious of her stomach, perhaps she thinks she's fat? Does she often have her arm lying across her stomach?

[mini696]

I thought that too "She may also be self-conscious of her stomach". Even when I am at my "happy weight" I place a hand across my stomach (or hold a pillow there when I sit down). Even though I no longer care, its just a habbit.

She may have been excited and nervous, so when you touched her she jumped.

She may not want to look "eager" by placing her feet on the bed. Its a very prone position (to be lying next to a man).

Maybe she grabbed your hand because she wanted to touch you too, and thats the easiest thing to touch without being forward (trying not to look eager again).

I wouldnt think someone would be in the same bed as you unless there was a deep attraction there.

Mick