College Girls

[Sargeant Pepper]

Hey everyone, its been quite a while, as usual, between my last post and now, and its usually becuase I am stymied in some rediculous problem that only I could dig myself into...
I go to college in Salisbury, NC. On the first few days, the first two people that I remember meeting (that weren't my first roomate) were a girl named Dana and a kid named Ben. Well, Ben really isn't important, he is just used for exposition. Well, Dana and I became really good friends, but not that close. Just good friends. After a few weeks, she started dating this kid named Danny, who was in my major, and frankly a cool kid and another friend of mine. I was happy for them. Danny, Dana, myself, and a few other people went through some stuff together that brought us very close.
However, Danny got really sick and missed to many classes. So, I took it upon myself to make sure Dana was ok, since she had been really stressing out. I guess I didn't really notice at first that Dana and I had begun getting much closer, and had I not been dense as a brick I would have noticed sooner that she had feelings for me. Well, I found out about it, though she hadn't originally planned to tell me. It became pretty obvious, and alas, I started to feel the same things for her. For instance, we have begun staying together because for some reason there has been a rash of really bizarre dreams among my friends, and we all have more or less paired off with people to stay with out of comfort. Dunno quite why that is, but of course Dana and I have begun sleeping either in the same bed or on the same couch, and of course I always sleep better because of it. However, lo and behold, Danny finds out about both her feelings and mine and calls her to more or less tell her he decided they were still going out.
So, I can understand his acting out in what was basically preventative measures, but Dana feels like things between her and Danny have gotten stretched thin, and that she does not really think they will work out much longer. However, they are still together, weither I like it or not. I really do not have any idea what I should do, because I always feel guilty when we start to misbehave, but I still really like her, and I know she feels the same way about me.
Any suggestions? I mean, I am really at a loss for ideas here because I do not want to make anything between her and Danny worse. I just want to make sure she is happy, with me or not. What do you all think I should do?

[Intelx]

I usually try to avoid any kind of relations with friend's friends, obviously for reasons like this. The end result is going to be same. Someone is going to get hurt, and any kind of friendship that was there will break apart, either templorary or perminantly.

I would personally let things go with the flow. I would not make ANY initutive nor, play the game. I'll just sit quiet and let things flow.

I think you should do the same. Allow her to make all her own decisions. Do not be a person who will interfear with this situation.


However, if Danny doesn't really like her, and you do, talk to Danny. (If he's your close friend ofcourse)

But, everything is up to you.

[8IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID]

Which one is worth more to you: your friendship with Danny or a possible relationship with Dana?

[Sargeant Pepper]

Problem is, I really want to see where Dana and I could go, but I really do not want to screw things up with or for anyone else.

[Tortuga]

Well, if you're going to try and just stay friends with Dana, then you need to be really strong about it. This means you really probably shouldn't be alone with her, ever, and as for sleeping in the same bed or on the same couch? Forget about it! That's a no-no.

*shrugs* I dunno, to me it sounds like it'd be worth trying to pursue something with Dana. I understand you not wanting to hurt Danny, but he's not even really in the picture anymore and heck, if HE was calling HER to see if they're even still together, even he must realize that he's not really in the picture.

Just ask Dana where she and Danny stand. Confront her about the mixed signals, and ask her why, when Danny called, she said the two of them were still together, yet it's obvious the two of you have feelings for each other? Call her on it.

Tortuga

[Wrightman84]

u have to choose
danny and dana
or u and dana
if u let them be then u will well to put it bluntly not like it because u want dana
if u go with dana then well u'll piss off danny
I say let her choose
and if she chooses you then tell her to break up with danny
when doing so try and make it clear that you did not go after her while he was not there, that things just happened and that it was her making her own choice you just so happened to be friends with him..
umm ya

[*after8*]

first things first:
they are still together.

she knows your feelings, and she has feelings for you.. but obviously still feels for danny as she's still with him.
regardless whether or not you choose to try pursue something with dana, she still has a bf.
and before things go any further, SHE needs to get rid of him.
so i'd suggest not trying to get her to 'cheat' , and not being 'naughty' or sleeping with her as thats disrespectful to him.. maybe talk to her, tell her you feel bad about doing things like that when she has a bf.

if she really wants to b with you, she'll b with you.