And Still I Sing

[C0nfus3d_Ab0ut_L1f3]

This walking speech upon these dreams...
...where nothing is, quite what it seems..

A feeling, sadness...bathed in hate...
...that eats, and tears, and burns, and waits...

You speak a hundred thousand lies...
...the words left broken, in your eyes...

I see the future I once wanted...
...bound and broken, left undaunted.

Ties of friendship broke apart...
...these bandaids seem to fit my heart...

...but fade in vain, with all forgotten.
Our fruit of love, now black and rotten.

Tell me where this love now goes...
...where these feelings fail to show.

Quite an option, deepened skies...
...the warming, tangle of your thighs...

My mind, a sway of right and wrong...
...my soul still lives, without its song...

...that spoke of love, when you were here...
...to kiss, to hold, to be so near...

I wake with nothing, sleep alone.
I lie in laughter, die in tones...

...that fail to mean, much anything...
...much less the wishes, I still sing...

I try and lose, it's been my life...
of pain, and hurt, of sadness, strife...

The endless freedoms now all stolen...
...my pain arises, cuts still swollen....

infection growing, the diseases smile...
...my thirsting lust, that drinks denile...

I lose another, hopeless dream...
...from failure nothing, is what it seemed.

A care, a wish, a waning hope...
...the dirt that never yeilds to soap...

My skins, and scars that make me cry...

....Then to think of you...

....and beg to die...

And still I sing.

[Asphodelle13]

My only criticism is that some of the lines end up too fragmented with the commas..which make for nice pauses to keep the rhythm going. Only some of the lines read like a sentence where it would make no sense to place a comma. Understand what I mean? On the whole I enjoyed reading it though. Its full of creative wording and rhyming with a fitting ending...Though, my one question is..Was the last line an afterthought or did it come from a stream of ideas? I'm just curious about your thinking process because the last line stands out the most for me and is different in comparison to everything else. Keep writing. :cool2:

[C0nfus3d_Ab0ut_L1f3]

I don't pause, and have after thoughts when I write poetry. The only time I do pause to read over what I've written is either when I'm done, or when I'm writing prose.