To flirt or not to flirt

[samanthaj_i]

[FONT=Geneva][SIZE=7]I have a question for those who have either experienced it or can relate to it.

Is it ever safe to start a relationship at work, when both parties has an idea both like each other; even though it may or may not be against company policy to start a relationship?

Much to say; he and I are great together at work, we still get work done, but there is a strong connection and we're both wary as to starting anything with the fact we could loose are jobs. We're both career finders and do not want to loose our jobs, but if this relationship was able to bloom and we could be together, could it happen, would it be possible?

:bounce: Antsy as I am, please help me!

Samantha

[Tortuga]

Well, you need to figure out what you value more...a possible relationship, or your job? I know it'll be a tough decision to make, but it's THE decision that you MUST make. Once you make it, you'll know what to do. You can't have your cake and eat it too--some would disagree with me and say that you could have an "undercover relationship," so to speak...keep it under wraps. Yes, you could, but you still run the risk of being fired, so in essence, you're making the choice that you value the relationship more than the job.

Whatever you decide will be fine. Just don't think you can have it both ways.

Tortuga

[samanthaj_i]

It is difficult to figure out what I value more because we both want to start a relationship but in the same sense, right now isn't the time to get fired. I love my job but hell... I know I MUST make a decision; all I know is once you let your heart telling you what to do, you could loose everything but him. The "undercover relationship" would be difficult because we're pretty similar and knowing him, we'd get all cuddly and lovey dovy and you try keeping that under wraps at work. It's not going to work... no way. Thanks for the support and keeping it real and straight because really, I wasn't sure what to do. I guess I got scared and ran. At least now I have an idea of what NOT to do at WORK. Lastly, I know damn well I can't have both, thats why I have all weekend to think about it and let him know come monday if we should be discreet or wait till the new year because I'll be getting a new job by then. So, maybe waiting a month or two won't kill us. Thats if we were mean't to be together. I've heard this and want to make sure it's still politically correct. They say if you love someone and want to be with them but aren't for sure about it, to let them go and walk away. If you meet up again in 3-6 months or years and still have strong feelings for each other, it means you were destined to be together. Otherwise if not, you were mean't to just be friends. Of course, thats what I've heard. Could be true... is it?

Samantha :sadcry:

[Palmer of the Turks]

Ummm... why don't you find out what company policy is FIRST before even thinking about this?

[samanthaj_i]

We just received a new handbook that has updated policies and everything is in there. No where in the handbook does it state we can't date, but no where in there says we can and if we ask; it could lead to something bigger that wouldn't need to be brought up. We both work for a very successful big corporation and we're only temps, they could dump us both for getting involved. They could give a shit about our personal life, but what happens at the office is different if they see us together alot, eating lunch together, not being at our desks at the same time, anything... they get paranoid and can people. Just last week they canned a woman for talking on the phone too damn much and that was just the phone and she always finished her work and completed her daily tasks needed. The temp service we work for is uptight about office intrapersonal relationships and sexual harrassment and either someone could spot us and turn us in or we'd have to take the relationship out of the office. I don't know... I just know if we asked, our so called temp manager would freick out and let us go. Its my gut feeling and it's usually very accurate, so I'm at a loss right now.... dunno what to do now.

And to think, we're going on a semi-date tomorrow. Its not a date date until we get the coast is clear thing done and its definately not going to be a relationship yet until we know we won't loose our jobs just because we are completely infatuated with each other. He is the only one of many men I've been with who can make me laugh, have an intelligent conversation with, feel comfortable with myself around him, him being interested of the woman behind the not so good looks, even though I am pretty but I'm a little curvy. There is something about him; we both enjoy reading to each other over the phone, we borrow each others music cd's at work (and mind you he's the only one I do that with), I trust him with borrowing out books I've read or want to read, he's already bought me something he'll be giving me tomorrrow. Dear lord, better not be jewelry, when its jewelry it means they want more to the relationship and no its not sex. So... I better go. Need to get my beauty sleep and rest for tomorrow my first semi-date in two years. Yeah!

goodbye

Samantha :boohoo: :boohoo: :whistle: :whistle:

[Palmer of the Turks]

If it's not in the handbook, it's not forbidden. Companies with a no-date policy are VERY clear about it.

If you're really worried, keep your relationship to strictly off-company time. At work, don't interact any more than necessary

And what's wrong with curvy? If a woman isn't curvy, I don't look twice at her.

[samanthaj_i]

Some news... I finally went on a date with the new guy from work. During our date this last weekend we brought up the topic of coping at work and being discreet or just having a relationship outside of work... he preferred that we do this so neither one of us have to deal with anyone at work. We've been acting pretty normal at work for the last 3 days, hope we can keep it up. I'm sure we can. Guess what? He did have jewelry, a sterling silver cross necklace which is my favorite and its beautiful. He brought me too a fancy Country Club where his parents used to go when they lived here and oh my god... he bought a bottle of wine, there were candles, violinists, not crowded at all, he was an all around gentleman. He even paid for dinner and wouldn't let me look at the bill, he said, "ugh... no my lady, women never pay on the first date" and smiled at me then winked. His eyes are breathtaking... almost so much I did forget to breath and almost passed out. I took a sip of the wine to help me get control of myself. We ended up back at his place and like a gentleman, I slept in his big bad king sized bed in his arms all night; with no sex- just sleep. I woke to a letter on his night stand telling me to go to the kitchen, so I did and there he was, in his boxers, robe open, slippers and t-shirt dishin up breakfast. He had made coffee, scrambled eggs, sausage (his fave and also mine) with wheat toast (his fave and oddly yes also mine). We sat in his living room in front of the fire he had already built and ate breakfast and enjoyed the Sunday paper, reading to each other all morning. I ended up in his arms reading to him a book he had started called, "The DaVinci Code" by Dan Brown which is fascinating. Ended up falling asleep again and we both woke up around 5 that night and we ordered in chinese food and just talked. Afterwards he brought me home. I never used my car, he bought everything and I even offered to help pay for both dinners and he said no that he got it. So after Thanksgiving weekend, next weekend I set up a date for us to go out and I'm buying this time- he's ok with it too. I think I'll take him to dinner and then out dancing. That should be fun.

He is such a good person... has a better head on his shoulders than most of the men I've dated and let me tell you; one of them is starting to piss me off from not leaving me alone. The rest I'm sure are either married or have new women to be with or who knows they could be with guys too. I was pretty sure one was gay and didn't have the heart to tell me. Now I'm not so certain... he could of been. I better go. I'm suppose to call my guy tonight before I go to bed and I don't want to call him too late. Bye

Samantha :kiss: :kiss: :heart: :kiss: :kiss: :love: