What to do...

[Intelx]

Well, this is a LONG story...


Please allow me to describe myself. I am Korean boy, 22yrs old, currently living in Omaha, NE because I joined the Air Force.

I am stationed in Omaha, NE, 1400 Miles away... I won't be able to go back home for the next 3+ years.

She lives in MD, and goes to UMCP (a College nearby) and has settled her life there. Her family / friends / church / university.
She is beautiful, determined and smart. When it comes to problems, she is ratiocinative, and compassionate. Most importantly, she finds me adorable. :laugh:
She makes me very :mrgreen: :biggrin: :laugh:


I used to live in Northern VA, near MD (30 min away). We knew each other for years, and before I joined AF, we started hanging out few times, and went on few dates. I've only been in Omaha, NE for 3 months, but recently we been talking a lot. We both have our moments of sparks... We communicate really well, and we intrigue each other by uncompromisable honesty of understanding and compassion. We adore each other. However, both of us face the harsh reality that it is wise to keep our distances. Only direction we will be facing as we get closer, is more heart-break.

For example, once she brought up the topic of wanting a bf... I evaded to answer. Even if we both don't say it, we both know that we won't be able to build and maintain bf/gf relationship for over 3 years / 1400 miles away.

I am going to go see her, when I am flying back home for thanksgiving. We will meet as friends.


I began to accept the fact, that since I will be here in Omaha, NE for 3+ years, I would have to adapt to a new life style here. I remembered and assimilated what she meant and felt when she commented this a few weeks ago... 'if you really love someone, you have to learn to let them go'.
At the moment, I stupidly told her that I didn't understand, and ended up having a small debate. :eusa_eh: Now I actually understand what she meant.

I cannot bear the fact that I have to try to find someone else, and also accept the fact she has to find someone else, because of our geographical inconvinences.



Is this spark between us doomed to end?

How realistic does it sound, for us to decide to date regardless of the distance between each other?

How realistic does it sound, for us to wait for 3+ years???

Or do we have to accept what this is, and learn to be without each other?



What do you think I should do when I go see her again for thanksgiving?

[chiukit]

when go see her again, go without expecting anything.
nothing. at all.
dont see her expecting a relationship.
at the same time. dont see her expecting a friendship thing.
whatever happens, happens. if you guys have something then, then it happens. just decide then, what you guys will do about it.

there are a few people here who have been in long-distance relationships that ultimately worked out in the end. and if you happen to have one with her, at least you have a future, three years down the road, where things will not be as difficult anymore. i mean, if something is so good and it's so strong, and if the spark is big enough to set fires, why should "geographical inconveniences" stop you. right? but it's up to you guys though.
and waiting 3+ is not that realistic, at least not for me. within that time, you would likely have found someone else, and i dare say that she would too. it's hard to wait three years when life is all around you... it's just so likely to find someone by that time.


just see her when you're going back.
if it's there, it's there. nothing you can do about it...
sometimes you've just gotta let things be.

[hunny]

Originally posted by Intelx@Nov 16 2004, 04:37 PM





She is beautiful, determined and smart. When it comes to problems, she is ratiocinative, and compassionate. Most importantly, she finds me adorable.



I'm just totally distracted by anyone using the word "retrocinative" in a post.

Don't think I've ever quite seen that before.
Anyway, why not give it a shot? You both sound like intelligent and decent people.

There are no guarantees in any relationship, long distance or no. So there's no way of predicting what could happen. Go with your feelings here and good luck.
When you see her for Thanksgiving, talk to her and see if she's willing to try to keep the 'spark' going.

[Intelx]

Well... Although this post lacks interest, due to the nature of the problem which does not have a clear solution, I believe it would be for the best interest of everyone to know how this would end.

As I and she are both aware, we met as friends for lunch. We talked as friends... She still do want to see me one more time, like as a date, dinner & whatever... before I fly back.


As I have not expected anything, nothing happened. As I have said before, we are all too aware of the consequences...


I know this sounds stupid... Should I make the initutive before I fly back?

Like, on our last date thing?