This is the weirdest acting girl I've ever liked

[E=mc^2]

This is a really scatterbrained post, and I'd really appreciate your help.

I met this girl a few years ago. We used to see each other around a lot, and then we got to know each other at a party. Since then we've hung out at other parties, and we went out once to a show and dinner. Every time we go out we have a fantastic time with each other. Conversation is lively, interests are compatible, and I find myself attracted to her.

Anyways, each time that I've dropped her off at home, I tell her what I great time I had, and she agrees. I mention how we should get together again, and she agrees again. Then I try to mention another time, like "how about next weekend?", and she starts to waffle. "Well life is really crazy right now, I don't know when I'll have time, etc" She doesn't realize that we spent an hour talking about how her life is going and the fact that I know things aren't that crazy. Basically she's just giving me the run around.

Now if I know anything, it's when I'm getting the run around. I'm usually really good at taking the hint, and going away since I don't take rejections after dates personally. It's nobodies fault that we didn't click. My mentality is that if I don't want women to take it personally when I decline a second date, I shouldn't either.

This is different though. We do click. I know she had a great time hanging out with me, since I was there, and I know she likes me, through a mutual friend, but she's still giving me the run around, and not returning phone calls, and I'm not quite ready to give up.

Apparently she's done this to other guys, and it basically comes down to the fact that it takes her a really long time to convince herself that she likes someone enough to date them.

So my question finally boils down to what can I do to get her to come around? We mesh so well together that I'd be crazy to give this one up so easily.

I don't want to come across too strong, because in all reality I don't have a huge crush on her and I'm not totally fallen for her, I just can identify that she is a great match for me.

So I don't want to send her flowers, or do anything crazy stalker-ish, because I don't want to come across too strong. I don't want to keep calling her and leaving messages which just makes me look desperate, which I'm not. I would like her to know that it's not a huge deal at this point, as I think she's walking on egg shells because she thinks she'll hurt my feelings by turning me down, which she wouldn't.

Argh! This woman is confusing the hell out of me!

[Deidre]

Originally posted by E=mc^2@Nov 13 2004, 12:06 PM
So I don't want to send her flowers, or do anything crazy stalker-ish, because I don't want to come across too strong. I don't want to keep calling her and leaving messages which just makes me look desperate, which I'm not. I would like her to know that it's not a huge deal at this point, as I think she's walking on egg shells because she thinks she'll hurt my feelings by turning me down, which she wouldn't.
If you don't think it'll scare her off, why not tell her the gist of above quote?

[Intelx]

I guess you really like this girl.

If this girl is as you described... Sounds like she has something on her mind, and she is not willing to tell you what it is.

Here, this is what you do. Go strong.

Surprise her with roses, and tell her that you like her, and you would like to go out with her.

She would tell you a reason, why she doesn't want to, but if she is moved by what you did & said, she might consider you more seriously.

[Fun Lovin' Criminal]

Originally posted by Intelx@Nov 14 2004, 12:36 AM
I guess you really like this girl.

If this girl is as you described... Sounds like she has something on her mind, and she is not willing to tell you what it is.

Here, this is what you do. Go strong.

Surprise her with roses, and tell her that you like her, and you would like to go out with her.

She would tell you a reason, why she doesn't want to, but if she is moved by what you did & said, she might consider you more seriously.
Do NOT do that.

I think diedre had the best suggestion. Personally I think she's trying to get you to abandon her, she's most likely afraid of it going further. I don't want to go into an amatuer psychology spiel, but just let her know you're not going anywhere. Just not in an over-the-top-scare-her-off way.

[Intelx]

I only told him to go strong, cuz obviously she doesn't really like him. *^^*


He'll realize this sooner and quicker, if he has the guts to see how true it is.

The best thing to do at this point, is just be agressive and ask her, period. I mean, after spending 'few' years togeather, if you got no where, you ain't going to get anywhere.


If you don't take rejections too personal, make a special agressive move to ask her how she really feels about you, and she will explain (in a very awkward way).


Deidre & Fun Lovin' Criminal has more of a 'honest talk' way to resolve the problem. Yeah, ofcourse, I didn't mean to give her the flowers and run away, I meant get her the flowers to show her how much you like her, and explain how you feel. She HAS to give you a proper response, instead of evading the topic.


I believe, you have a better chance doing this, to a girl you've known for few years, than just to brush it off with talking.

[Deidre]

Originally posted by Intelx@Nov 15 2004, 03:21 PM
Yeah, ofcourse, I didn't mean to give her the flowers and run away, I meant get her the flowers to show her how much you like her, and explain how you feel.
I think he specifically said he doesn't have anything to say on the subject of "how much he likes her", and doesn't want to do the flowers kind of thing, because he hasn't fallen for her and doesn't have a crush on her -- only realises that they would be a good match and could have that.

Surprising her with flowers and telling her how much he likes her and would like to go out with her is hardly in his best interest if that isn't even what he wants; is it?

[Intelx]

Not like her my ass~ :laugh:

Sounds like he REALLY likes this girl. :)




If he doesn't like this girl, he would ignore her, and won't even care. :cool3:

[Mike_The_Man]

Whatever you do, resist the urge to push! Back off a bit, and I guarantee you, she will find some way to interact with you on some level if she is really interested in you. Trust me! I am going through the same thing myself!