Pushed Forward

[GrayM&M]

Nine weeks until I die
to all who know me
and the life I've known
I've grown too big
But I'm only little

Emerge from the coccoon
set a tentitive foot into the abyss
to lose my footing and fall
no safety net this time, they say
failure is death, no turning back

Be strong, although sightless
Expected to see the full path
Tripping over pebbles
Myopia blurring the future
Time pressed through a ricer

Expectations, reality, shortcomings
Self doubt, self hatred, losing control
Tricky spiral, wandering lonely
Confusion, disillusion
"Je suis perdue."

Nobody loves me
Everybody hates me
I think I'm gonna go
Eat worms and bite the dust
because it's over; it's just beginning.

Don't patronize me.
Don't expect too much from me.
It's not easy; It's not difficult.
I'm too big for this -
I am too little.

[GrayM&M]

I think, now that I'm reading it... that it could really work as a song.

[Soulfull_ Angel]

I really adore that sort of poetry. That was trully amazing. haha the worms thing was funny but you really expressed things well in this poem and the repeating of the too big too little thing was an excellent touch. I'm a little vague on the french was it "i am" something? Once again very well done. I hope I see more of your work :)

[GrayM&M]

I'm mad that I have to graduate. I'm feeling too young. Like I can't handle it yet.

Like I don't want to be kicked out of my own life and flung into another, strange life.

I'm feeling too big for my own school, though.

I don't want to step into a crazy whirlwind of stuff I don't understand 'cause I know I'll fail.

And parents and teachers keep harping on about how they're not going to "baby us" anymore, and how it's so expensive, and such a privlidge to attend a university. There's so much at stake.

I don't WANT it.

I don't have a CLUE what it's all about and what's expected of me. Adults know, though, and because they know, they think everyone knows.

Hindsight is the clearest. I don't have that luxury. I can't even see what's an inch ahead of me. It's like I'm nearsighted and tripping along a path I don't know.

Size and Time are all distorted. Time keeps pushing ahead - there's no way to slow it down. It oozes out in little strings all over the place, making a huge tangled mess. It hurts.

I'm feeling like I keep coming up short. I can't DO it. But I haven't even begun, it'll only get worse form here. There's no way I can win - I hate myself.

I'm so alone in this - everyone else is secure. What do I make of it all? I'm just so lost I can't stand it.

If I don't even love myself, no one else loves me either. I'm alone emotionally. No boyfriend (damnit) and no senior friends I can talk to.

It's all over before it's begun.
No use fighting. I've already lost.

I hate people talking to me like I'm a child. I detest being patronized. But I can't handle this.

Either I'm treated like a kid, or I'm treated like an adult with the gift of hindsight. Don't you dare call me either.

I'm too big to be babied... I'm too little to be kicked out completely.




Hell, I don't even know where I'll be sleeping in a few months. I'm alone and scared.

[SShore4]

Both work, good job.

[Truth]

that was really good

[Vanilla170]

[size=24]Kick Ass Poem!!!