Calling my ex

[qtpa2t]

I'm never good at being brief, but I'm gonna try to be very concise.

My first boyfriend ever we broke up permanently when I was 17 he was 18. We'd dated for about a year and a half. I called it quits for good when I found out just after his 18th that he was cheating on me again with the same girl (it had already happened twice.)

We went to church together and our moms were both on a church committee together so things were awkward. I was cold and mean and he was repentant and snubbed.

Two years later he begged me to at least be his friend again. I reluctantly agreed but I still hadn't really forgiven him so it was a one sided thing. He begged me to take him back that August took responsibility for all our relationship problems and told me how he'd never really appreciated me until it was over and all his friends and his mom brought it to his attention. I declined and told him if he ever brought it up again I wouldn't speak to him. He tricked me into a date that Halloween ( a group party ended up a double date with an egaged friend of his.)

I was furious. But when my grandmother died that December he was there for me more than anyone else. Just before Christmas he went to New York.

Two years later he's back. Asked me to call him if I wanted I waited two months.

So I called him Monday. He's in Vegas for work and a girl had answered so I freaked and said he sounded busy and to call when he gets home.

Now I realize she's probably just a girl he works with and I over reacted.
I really wanted to talk to him but I don't know if calling back before I asked him to call me is a good idea. He won't be home til next Tuesday.

What would you suggest I do?

[Deidre]

I assume you're looking for a relationship, a fling, something, since this is in flirting and I also assume you have some kind of feelings for him since you "freaked" when a girl answered his phone...

Personally, I wouldn't try to regain grounds with someone who had cheated on me so many times and not appreciated me until we broke up.

Him taking all the blame for the faults in the relationship really means nothing. My ex went through a phase of that, and next thing I know I hear that he's been saying that I'm the one who drove him to cheat the first time because I wasn't completely open with him (after two months of dating). What he says to you isn't necessarily what he feels.

It's nice that he was there for you when your grandmother died, but assuming this was after all your turmult together, he had something to gain by being nice to you... and if he was there for you, maybe that means he's friends material -- it says nothing about his boyfriend qualities.

Ultimately, it's up to you and where you want your heart to take you, but beware.

[Juan]

can i ask how old you are now and how long it has been since you guys broke up? i wasnt sure how clear it was :) i guess it depends on if you can ever really trust him and if you have doubts in his ability to stay faithful then i dont think it will work for you. if you believe he wont do it to you again then thats start

[oasisgirl]

Girls waste so much time going back to dead relationships...


You broke up with him for a reason. Don't forget that reason. If he cheated on you not once, but two times, who is to say he won't do it a third, forth, etc.??

I'm not trying to be harsh, but rather realistic. I know your situation is complicated and everything, but if you have to ask strangers what to do, then you already have doubts and clearly know this might not be the best option.

If you want to continue to be friends with him, fine. But, in my opinion, that should be ALL he gets from you. Find someone who respects you enough to not cheat on you in the first place. You deserve the best, obviously. He couldn't deliver.