Reading people over MSN.

[Bravehearter]

You know im getting into a career where my job is to read people online, what they are doing and thinking, and normally I am awesome at it, no joke, except when it comes to one thing, people I have feelings for, or someone I think I might have feelings for someday.

Lets call this person "Bertha" Bertha is someone I met at a friends place, through a mutual aquantance. I was on my way out to a Casino and we didnt have long to talk, I suggested we exchange email, since she was on campus and I figured it would be easier.

So thats been great, we have been talking on MSN for about a week now I suppose with plans for her to come out on saturday. But I find myself questioning everything now, every little thing either makes me wonder and guess too much, or im worried that im becomming annoying, which is all in my head most likely.

But hell its stressful, everytime someone pops online and then leaves, makes you wonder, its all just way more stress then it should be.

What are your experiences in using msn has a way to break the ice as it were? a way to learn more about each other. Girls: are you more reluctant to talk about things on there as much?

Im probably stressing out way too much over nothing, but thats just the way I am.

[Prism]

ok, not entirely sure what you're asking but:

1) i think msn is a great way to break the ice.
2) the only thing that really bothers myself and people i know is when AS SOON as you sign online, you get messaged by someone. EVERY time. without fail. lol.

specifially what kinds of things are you questioning? it might be a bit easier to help... than again, i'm having questions about the guy i'm interested in right now, and alot of it involved him on msn. ie calling me babe, muah!, etc etc.

i think i read *too* much into convos... so read into them, but not a ton :)

L.

[Madeleine]

I personally like MSN because I'm one of those people who needs time to think about what I want to say, so that I actually say what I mean. Often in RL I don't get to say what I actually mean because I just can't think or process my thinking quickly enough.
I find it easier to open up online because there's no face to face (confrontations scare me!) and it gives me that opportunity to think about what I'm saying.
The only *problem* is that you can't tell someone's tone online, because obviously you can't hear them, so sometimes things that are said can be easily misunderstood.
I think I am more inclined to say more about myself/what I'm thinking when I'm writing it rather than saying it, especially to people who I have just recently met. I met one of my ex-boyfriends online through a mutual friend and it was a great way to get to know each other, and we got along great, but I worried about how we would interact in RL.

[Bravehearter]

Well im asking stuff about school, mostly, how mid terms are going, just keeping it kinda narrow for now until we meet up in person again. We are getting together on saturday so we will see how it goes. But I just didnt want to come off as a TOTAL geek.

[Madeleine]

Now I'm more confused as to what your question is. Unless you're telling her on msn why e = mc squared (:P) then it doesn't seem like you would be coming across as geeky. It just seems like you're paranoid about how you come across to her because you like her/think you might like her. Which is normal. Let us know how Saturday goes. :)

[Bravehearter]

Well I didnt really have a question I was just looking more for peoples opinion on the subject, and how in the past 5-6 years things have really changed, because a few years ago I wouldnt have been talking to someone I just met on MSN, so its a lot different.

[Prism]

ahhh ok, this makes more sense to me now.

although i think msn can be a great way to get to know people (as people tend to be more open online when they can hide behind a computer screen), it can also be irritating because they CAN hide. also, you can read far too much into a conversation (ex, calling someone hun or babe or using (L) and (K)) when maybe they are just like that with people. I send many of my friends a little heart before I go offline, but to someone I don't know too well they could take that the wrong way, yknow?

I love and hate msn at the same time, for this reason. :P

L.

[Bravehearter]

Exactly. I mean the small things that are nothing can drive you insane! Like if someone is on away. You wonder way too much if they are really there or whats the deal! Arg! haha It would be a lot easier if they were right infront of me, but by that point the little shy part of me takes over and I clam up!

[ittakessome]

i met my boyfriend through a friend who was home from college for the summer. it was the night he was leaving and him, i, and his friend were hanging out. we went out to eat sushi and i fell so hard for his friend. he was so cute and i wanted to talk to him more, but since my friend was leaving to college i knew i wouldnt see this new guy again. but i got his s/n and i started talking to him. we just went over the basics, since we hadnt talked at all before that. i got to know him through instant messages. three days later we hung out and continued to talk online every night. it got to the point where him and i would come online every night at the same time to talk to one another. :) i thought it was a good way to start off. its easier to talk to people online and not sound like a nerd. the only problem with it is you have to be yourself. (and hope they are doing the same.)

[sunfrost]

Originally posted by ittakessome@Oct 21 2004, 08:24 PM
the only problem with it is you have to be yourself. (and hope they are doing the same.)
That's a nasty one... I'm a lot more verbal on chat then in real life... I'm not a push-over, but I'm not the type to be screaming for attention... You don't do this intentionally, it just happens...

So be careful, outgoing people online can be the silent type in real life and vise versa...

[nicki_mae]

I don't know about everyone else, but for me chatting on MSN is /much/ easier than in real life. At least that way you don't have to talk to the person face to face, and you can actually think before you say something completely idiotic. Even though conversation doesn't "flow" as well on MSN as in real life, I think it's a lot better if you want to be careful about what you say.

[__United__]

Don't ever try holding serious conversations (especially when it comes to relationships) online over MSM, AIM, or whatever...most people cannot "read" the other person and usually it leads to miscommunication.

Just because you may be good at it, doesn't mean the other person is good at it.

I'll take an example--I was once in a position where we did a lot of chatting online...and at first, she was the person who was always leaving messages and chatting with me, but then that slowed down a bit and it reversed--I'd sign on, and see her on, so I'd always say hi and what not...and when I saw that she had an away message up, I'd leave her a message hoping she was having fun, couldn't wait to see her, etc...

In the end, she was complaining to me about me being annoying and "too persistent" although she had been doing the same thing months before, so I figured she wanted the same...

Moral of the story, save the serious conversations for real life, and if she wants to talk, she'll start it with you. Otherwise, back off a bit.