How Long?

[Lone_Raider]

Last semester I met this girl in one of my classes, found out she had a boyfriend so I reduced my pursuit to just casual acquaintance. Then one day she literally tossed her phone number at me and said lets meet up to study one day lol. We did a few times, but obviously she was attached so I let it go and didn't see her all summer.

Anyway, turns out she is in one of my classes this year, and in mid september she tells me she just broke up with her boyfriend. Now I've fallen victim to being the rebound guy before by going out with a girl a week after her relationship ended. She was a mess I'll tell ya'. Looking to avoid that, I wonder how long I should wait before I ask this girl out? It's been about a month since they broke up I think, she doesn't ever talk about him except to say he took so and so class once etc. So should I wait a bit longer as she still might not be ready yet, or should I go for it now before its to late?

[Am I tight or not?]

for a second I thought this was another penis length thread

go for it but don't fall in love with her yet.

[kuju]

It really depends on the girl, and how long the relationship was and everything. A month is a good waiting period, sometimes two is better, especially if they were in a long-term relationship and she's clingy like that...

[Palmer of the Turks]

How long was she with the guy?

A handy rule of thumb would be that people "get over" their ex in half the time they were together (so if they broke up after a year, they will probably get over each other completely after about 6 months)

Rebound time is probably 1/4 to 1/5 of the relationship time. That is, 2-3 months after a 1 year relationship.

On the other hand, rebound times can often be shorter, and rarely last more than 4-5 months, unless the relationship was longer than 4-5 years, or was a marriage.

Whoever did the dumping will normally get over the ex, and the rebound, a month or so sooner.

[Lone_Raider]

Thanks for the replies everyone. She's never told me how long they went out, It was at least a year as she had the boyfriend already in January and I assume they met well before that. I do know that he dumped her, and that is the grand total of my info about her ex, I don't ask about it at all, and I don't intend to, this is just what she told me.

So 2 to 3 months you think? We are starting to study together and meet up a slight bit more on campus at her suggestion. Tommorow we're meeting up before class for example, again on her suggestion. Its a funny situation I'm in, if she had been single I would have already asked her out already. But now I'm trying to walk a fine line between hanging out to much and falling into the friend zone, or going out with her and becoming rebound guy. I think I need to be around just enough to keep her interest, and then back off before wearing out my welcome.

I thinK I'll be able to judge when the time is right now, I can see something in the way she looks at me and talks to me that she's getting to the point where she might want me to ask her out. But as Napoleon and dozens of others have said, timing is everything.

[Lone_Raider]

Nope nevermind, Palmer you were right, I better wait a little longer to the two month mark. We were in the Union before class, some guy passed by in the distance and she said, that bastard was one of my ex boyfriends, friends! She then went on a mini tirade about how she hated both of them, then added that she also hated FDR and Churchill at the end of her tirade lol. :laugh:

Yeah, she was OK the other day, and snapped because someone walked by today. Think this one is going on hold. :snooty: