This guy in my class

[sweetiegrl]

There's this guy in one of my classes, who I've known for two years, but not that well, we are more aquaintances then anything and recently he has been flirting with me like everytime we have class together. Actually it has been going on since the beginning of the term. At first it was just fun and friendly flirting, but now its starting to get really annoying. He's recently been finding excuses to constantly put his arms around me, or rub my head, or pat my back, ahh and today in class the first thing he did when he sat down next to me was to poke me in the arm repeatedly ahh lol. I told him oww and he started to rub my arm and say he was sorry, and then he said "oo you know I only do it because I like to touch you". I was totally grossed out, this coming from a guy I really dont know that well lol, eh we are aquaintances, but we have only had two classes together in two years, and other then in those two classes, we never really even see each other on campus. The past few times I have seen him, I also work three stores down from him lol, he constantly tries to make contact with me and its really starting to get obvious that he likes me. The more I try ignoring him when he tries flirting with me, it seems like the harder he flirts with me, this guy doesnt seem to take a hint that I don't like him and dont want him all over me.

Even the little things about him are starting to annoy me, like how he constantly leans in towards me in class, he will contantly have his legs so far apart that its takin up half the space under my seat so I end up having to sit with my legs crossed so I am not pressed up against him.

I have tried my hardest until now to let him know that I see him as just a friend and nothing more. I change to topic everytime he says something flirty, or I just pretend I dont even notice it, and he just keeps it up. What is the nicest way I can tell this kid that I dont see him like that, and while friendly flirtin if kewl, being all over me and constantly pokin me in the ribs and grabbing my waist and pokin it makes me feel uncomfortable.

What makes it even more annoyin I would say is that I know he is not the type to usually be like that with other people, he is usually one of those quieter types who doesnt really talk to many people and definitely doesnt like being flirty with everyone.

[Madeleine]

If he can't take the hint maybe you will have to be more forward in telling him that you aren't interested. It might be harder, but if you set him straight it, in theory, should put an end to the unwanted flirting. I would just suggest that you tell him privately to avoid any unnecessary embarrassment on his part. It sounds like he is the kind of person who will feel hurt that you don't return the feelings which naturally will make it harder to tell him. Perhaps as a Plan B you can make up a guy you have a crush on and make a point of telling him all about it, and it's possible that he may get the hint that way.

[meeso]

Sweetie, once he gets on your nerves... just look him in the eyes and start off by saying.. "Look.. I'm not in the mood today for your little games, I've had a bad morning and you're really starting to get under my skin"

Play it off as you are having a bad day... because if he keeps annoying you, inevitably you will. See if that approach works.

Edit: Approach #2, this one would really get the point across.. When he does something, just go .. "Hey, if you want to hit on a girl these are some pointers you need.. first you don't poke them. You think it's cute, we think it's gay and childish.. Secondly if you want to be close to the girl you like, you can't smother them.. it will piss them off"

Basically school him.. It will embarass him and maybe he'll learn something out of it.

[*after8*]

^
i wouldnt go for the whole "ive been having a bad day" line. i mean, its good in theory, except.. this is real life. if this guy is as persistant as he sounds.. he'll prolly try to make it 'Better" and play hero.. give you hugs, comfort you, ask to talk about it.. yada yada. blah.
plus, what do you do the next day?

avoiding the issue isn't always the best way.
you could tell him point-blank you dont like him, but that might make things uncomfortable, as well as cause him to deny his feelings and play it off as 'just being friendly'.
i'd suggest mentioning your bf -- whether or not he exists. lol. casually bring it up.. something like "oh, i really want to see that movie with my bf" or "oh, i didnt do much last nite, just hung out with my bf" yada yada.. you get the idea.
the key is to casually drop it in -- most guys will back off if thry know the chick theyre after is taken.
if he still doesnt get it, then i'd defintely suggest telling him to back off.

[vampbarbie]

Kick him in the ankles. That will make his legs move. Make sure to be wearing heels when you do it.

Just tell him to get off you. Say firmly "Will you stop that, its annoying". And do it all the time.

[kuju]

just causually mention your boyfriend and how he's a football player or something. most of the time, any mention of a previous attachment will get a guy to back off.

and for a vaguely related anecdote, in stats tutorial yesterday (we have a midterm tomorrow) we're going over all this stuff I don't know (because I don't attend the actual CLASS) and this guy sits next to me. he came late, so I let him see what we've covered so far and then he starts talking to me. How do I like the class? what program of study am I in? what year am I in? etc. etc. I kepp putting him off with one word answers. (aside from the fact that I'm totally not attracted to his annoyingness, we have a MIDTERM TOMORROW!) so finally I say a little louder and rudely, "Look, I REALLY want to hear what they're talking about!" so he finally shuts up, but appraently the T.A. heard some noise in the back of the room and asked us if we had any questions. I said "NO!" rather rudely (I apologized to ehr after class) when what I really wanted to say was "can you please repeat everything you've said in the last five minutes?"

sorry... tangent.

[sweetiegrl]

Thx for the replies guys, anyway heres a lil update. I saw him sitting in the cafe on campus, so I quickly walked past before he had the time to come out and starting talking..er poking me lol. Anyway later we had class together, but I waited a few minutes before I went in since the prof wasnt in there yet, I really didnt wanna give him more opportunities to start up again. Anyway I walk in and he lifts the seat up next to him, but I sit a desk apart this time, he looked totally insulted and confused, I was just like uh we are having a test now anyway, shes going make everyone sit a seat apart anyway. Anyway he then starts talking to me and then he is like "I like your sweatshirt, its nice" and he grabs the sleeve of it, then I replied yea I didnt feel like getting dressed today, and he was like "thats ok I still love you" and I must have given him a really strange look because then he quickly said "uh yea isnt that great to know". I couldn't help but look disgusted, just the way he said it and how he was petting my sleeve.

Yea he's obviously not getting the hint, and when I sat a seat apart from him in class today, he looked so hurt, ahh, I'm starting to think maybe its not just he doesnt get the hints, but that rather he doesnt wanna see these hints.

[Madeleine]

Someone is saying in another thread that guys are clueless and don't get hints - and it certainly sounds like it is the case for this guy!
It might be hard but it sounds like you will have to say something to him, otherwise he is going to continue to make you feel uncomfortable. Just get him aside before you go to class and tell him that you don't appreciate him touching you, etc. Wait, that's retarded. I know I wouldn't be able to say that. Maybe someone here can figure out how to tell him tactfully but so that he still gets it.
Maybe you can get someone else to tell him? It sounds kinda stink but then maybe he won't feel as embarrassed as he might if you said it to him.

[Fun Lovin' Criminal]

Just tell him about a guy that you're really in love with. Go on and on about him. Say he's really tough and has tree tunks for arms and rides a motorbike. Don't stop talking about for about twenty minutes straight. He'll get the message.

[meeso]

Jump on top of him like you are going to do him right then and there, then bite his neck with your poisonous fangs..

yep.. that'll do it.

[kuju]

like I said... MENTION YOUR BOYFRIEND!

oi... guys. can't take hints when you like them. can't take hints when you don't...

[sweetiegrl]

Yes kuju, that is so right, how come so many guys dont get it when you like them, and when you dont, they still dont seem to get that lol!! Men argh lol. Thx for the ideas, I think I'll just have to start talking all about this guy I like or my boyfriend lol. :badgrin:

[meeso]

poisonous fangs..

I'm serious..

:laugh:

[sweetiegrl]

OMG lmao, even weirder then I thought. Anyway today I went down to this lounge we have in school and I ran into him, he was sitting in there talking to someone, but I pretended not to see him, and I went over and sat next to another one of my friends and started talking. Anyway later as I'm talking to my friend, someone from behind me just tackles me, I almost fell outa my seat and I dropped my bag, I was so freaked lol. When I look behind me, this kid is like hey whats up. I'm like oo no, here we go again. Then he tries sitting next to me, btw I wasnt sitting on a seat I was sitting on and end table, and he tries scrunching in with me and I think he tried to put his head on my shoulder, he leaned his head in towards my shoulder but I pulled away and I must have looked really annoyed. I was in the middle of talking to someone and he just comes up from behind and tackles me and he just starts talking to me as if my other friend isnt there, and my other friend quickly excused himself and left.

Anyway as he is talking to me, he tells me he isnt going to bother going to class today, I'm like neither am I, I've got work later, then he is like "oo ok I'll stop by depending on whether or not my fiance has work". I'm thinking WHATT you've got a fiance lol!! I was just like ah kewl, where does she work and I find out she works supposedly in the store directly across from where I work.

OMG, all I've gotta say to this is ew, and how come he has never mentioned her to me before. I know freshman year, when we first met, he was dating a girl and he never shut up about her. Literally everytime we spoke it would be about her, or something he did with her, etc. I am just so shocked that he said to me that he has a fiance now. He never talks about her, never mentions anything about her at all. Last week when I asked him what he was doing for his birthday, he was just like hanging out with my friend and going to play video games. Maybe he just made it up, because I might have looked really uncomfortable today when he tackled me, I think I made it obvious I wanted to get away from him.

[kuju]

um... how old are you two? you mention a past freshman year, but is that high school or Uni?

[sweetiegrl]

Yea I'm a junior in college and hes a senior in college.

[j-r]

Yes but doesn't it stroke your ego?

[Madeleine]

By the sounds of things it's minimally flattering at most, and even that seems like a stretch...

[sweetiegrl]

So what does everyone think about him having a fiance? Think its true, or just sumthing he said to ease the awkardness when I probably looked pretty grossed out that he tackled me lol.

[DiabloMan]

why do you care? just move on and keep ignoring him.

[Madeleine]

It sounds like something he would have said to ease the awkwardness as you said, so he wouldn't feel like such a dimwit. But I guess that means you might be somehow on on SOME level getting through to him (however rose-tinted his glasses might be) that you're not interested. Keep giving him the no-way vibe, or better yet the no-fucking-way vibe. Good luck!

[Fun Lovin' Criminal]

I'm curious as to why you care if he was lying or not...

[Intelx]

You are so nice!!!

I can't believe you feel THAT unfomfortable, YET you don't want to make him uncomfortable by telling him to get off.

Be little brave for a change, and tell him straight up, instead of trying to get the message to him by hinting him. Looks like this guy has WAY too THICK skull to get it through hints.