Is he single?

[kuju]

so you're chatting with a guy or girl you like... and in conversation, they mention past girlfriends like "my old girlfriend" or "a girl I once dated" and such. But no mention of someone current. The conversation isn't ABOUT past S/Os, it just comes up randomly when talking about other things.

would you take this as a sign that that person is not currently dating someone?

[jupiter]

I'd guess they were single/not dating, yeah.

[Fun Lovin' Criminal]

I wouldn't take it as anything other than they were talking about an ex.

[Deidre]

Unless it was something conversation specific, "a girl I once dated also had two belly buttons" or something like that, I would take it to imply singleness, or at least some skidding around the s/o subject.

Then again, there are reasons to skid around the s/o subject. Such as, you don't want to be the kind of person who does nothing but talk about "oh, my boyfriend does this and he says that and my boyfriend thinks this".

[chiukit]

i think i would assume a girl is single unless she tells me that she isnt.
i mean, if i go for it, and she ends up telling me she has a boyfriend, then who cares. ;p

[StrayDog]

What others said.
I have often found out that people, whether you are giving hints or not, will find a way to include that they are already taken.
Plus, there's that 'single' vibe. It's a tough art, but with time, I could usually tell if someone isn't already taken.

[Fun Lovin' Criminal]

Or is taken... but isn't. If you catch my drift. ;)

[hopeless_romantic]

I usually refer to ex's if I'm not quite over them yet..

[Sydney123456]

I would take this as being single, but like HR said...he may not be over her if he just outwardly mentioned her.

If you really wanted to know...you could inadvertently bring it up or something. OR, if it happens again...I'd be all over that shit like flies. Be then again, that's pretty obvious. : blush : However, I imagine you to be pretty outgoing, like myself, and not fear such situations?? I dunno, it's up to you.

Those silly, silly young boys. ;-)

[GJHM]

Ask him. Holy hell, our world is way too full of analysts and "What If-ers". Ask him if he's single, and this question has become unnecessary.

If you wanted to buy some cookies, would you guess how much they cost? No, you'd just find out.

[kuju]

I try to avoid awkwardness in general. If it were simply a guy I knew, I might. But this is my lab partner for the next year. Three hours a week in extremely close contact. Heads together and all. I don't want to create awkwardness like that.

[StrayDog]

Well, it seems to me that time is something that you have!

Good opportunity then to just open up a line of friendship, y'know? If it doesn't work out, or you find out something about him that makes him undatable, or if he happens to be taken, then at least you have made a friend.

[Lone_Raider]

I do that all the time with girls I'm talking to, well not all the time, but I will drop in something like "oh I went there with my ex girlfriend a while back" or something of that nature. I'm single when I do it, so I'm guessing he is to. I have this theory on value with women. If a woman knows you have dated someone not that long ago, or sees you talking to a girl that is just a friend of yours, it shows you obviously have/had something to offer a woman and makes them more interested. As oppossed to saying, "I've been single for the last 3 years and I don't know why." I think women see a Red flag with a message like that, even if you don't word it that way!

[kuju]

ouch then. I'd better not let on thaat I've been single for three years.

[Sydney123456]

Originally posted by StrayDog@Oct 8 2004, 09:34 PM
Well, it seems to me that time is something that you have!
Holy crap, no kidding! I thought he was just a lab partner for a particular process, not the entire year. Wowwzers. You will definetly kindle a friendship, and maybe something more. heh

[Tortuga]

I tend to agree with Fun Lovin' Criminal--I wouldn't take it as anything other than he was mentioning an ex. Sometimes I'll talk about my ex, but I'm not single. Sometimes, exes will just come up in conversation, ya know? However, if he talks about an ex rather frequently, that may be a sign that he's single, cuz I know I talk about my current way more than I talk about my ex.

Tortuga

[Lone_Raider]

Originally posted by kuju@Oct 10 2004, 11:48 AM
ouch then. I'd better not let on thaat I've been single for three years.
I don't think you have to worry about that kuju. Sadly I think its a double standard, as personally I don't care how long a girl has been single, if I like her that won't change my mind. I think most men feel this way as well and this wouldn't be an issue. But sometimes women (not all, but most I have encountered) think there is something wrong with a guy if he has been single for a long time. And they can go from liking the guy, to not liking him in a second. I know, its happened to me before!

[Newton]

Well if you want to have an idea if he is single without directly asking him I think the best thing to do is get to know him a little to the point where you can casually ask what he did over the weekend or what he is going to do over the weekend. That way unless he's one of those people that replies nothing much or I don't know I'm sure at some point if he has a g/f or wife or whatever that it'll come up -- ie. I'm going out for some drinks with my friends on Friday and on Saturday I'm watching movies with my girlfriend.

[kuju]

oi... wife. This guy I was interested in last year was engaged.