Wrote this in the spring

[Onlykrc]

Breathless

My heart is pounding and I've stopped breathing
My brain can't comprehend
You're asking me to give away one thing that I've held close,
Like a person clings tight to a memory
I'm terrified to say yes, but have no desire to say no
When I give this to you, will I gain so much more
Or will I lose everything

As these doubts cloud my mind
I look into your eyes
I want to turn away, run away
But your stare is too enticing, too captivating

You kiss me
I feel your lips and nothing else
You hold me tight
I want to escape before these emotions become too intense
But instead of pulling back I'm drawn further still

I feel my body move closer to you, but my thoughts scream no
You finally sense my resistance

Please, reassure me

Kiss me again, maybe my heart will stop beating
Touch me, maybe my inhabitions will dissolve
Hold me, maybe I'll give in
Maybe I'll give up

[Asphodelle13]

In my opinion it grew stronger towards the end..but the ending wasn't as climatic as it could've been. Good idea here...my only suggestion is to be more descriptive in all that you're trying to resist..like don't just speak of kisses, elaborate on other temptations. :cool2: It just seems like in this poem about holding yourself back with your inhibitions...you've done the same thing when writing it...but that's just my opinion. I hope I've made some sense.. Maybe that's just your style though. Keep writing.:)