Friend to girlfriend......

[Gunny]

Okay, well I have been friends with this girl that I went to college with for like 2 years and have become closer in our group of friends over the past 2 semesters. She is a senior now and I graduated this past May. We still see each other off and on, alone and in the presence of our friends. Sometimes she acts flirty, but then she brings up other guys once in a while, but she is not serious with any of them. And if I ever bring up other girls she gets all interested and asks me everything about them and if we are going out and everything. She is always complaining to me that she wants a boyfriend. I know she sees me as a friend, but I don't know if the flirtiness is her telling me that she may want to date or if she just wants everything to stay how it is.

Earlier this week, she invited some friends and I over to hang out at her new house and drink. So, after a while we start playing drinking games and I end up kissing her and her roommate during the games several times. I could kind of tell she was getting jealous when I would be near her roommate. But everytime we kissed she got all giggly (not just from the alcohol) and embarrassed sometimes even though I could tell she enjoyed it. So, everything was cool and we all had a good time. But later she starts talking about this other guy that she has been talking to a lot that used to go to college here in Houston but now goes to school in Dallas. Apparently she kind of likes him now (she didn't used to) and they talk a lot online. It's her birthday this Friday and this guy is coming in town on Thursday to hang out with her. (Another side note she told me is that after the other day she kissed me before she kissed him).

So, here is the point: I used to think that this girl kind of got on my nerves at times with the way she acted, but lately I find us more and more compatible. It's not like a thing where I'm saying I HAVE to have her or anything. I've just been thinking, especially after the other night and how we have been talking a lot more, that maybe I would like to explore something more with her. I mean we are not best friends or anything, and we don't even see each other every week, but I can seriously picture us dating. I can tell we are both attracted to each other at the least.

I know none of you can read her mind, but I would just like to know of your opinions or what you have done if you have been in a similar situation. I was thinking that I should at least get her something nice on her birthday, even if I can't see her. I was maybe even going to ask her to a concert coming up, since she invited me to a Hoobastank concert a while back when she won free tickets. But alas, if I am not specific, then I believe she will only consider this a friendly gesture.

I just don't know how to approach this or if I should. I guess I could always just go get drunk with her then ask her what she thinks about us dating. Shit, I don't know.

[vampbarbie]

Getting her drunk and asking is a stupid idea. Because then you'll get her drunk answer not a real one.

I'd suggest asking her out - just the two of you - to dinner or a movie or for a drink, and during said date make it clear that you feel this is a 'date' rather than just 'friends going out'.
Flirt with her, and not just in a jokey way, be 'agressive' with it. Make it clear that you like her in that way. Tell her if you must, but not until later in the date, that way if you can tell she's uncomfortable with it being a 'date' you can back off a bit, withpout feeling like a prat.

She could only be always mentioning those other guys to make you jealous too.

[Palmer of the Turks]

Originally posted by Gunny@Sep 14 2004, 09:02 PM
I was maybe even going to ask her to a concert coming up, since she invited me to a Hoobastank concert a while back when she won free tickets. But alas, if I am not specific, then I believe she will only consider this a friendly gesture.
Here's an easy tactic.

Ask her to the concert. When she says yes, smile broadly and say "So it's a date!" and leave it at that.

It's not blatantly saying "we're dating" or pushing anything in her face, but it'll stick in the back of her mind, and she'll be much more "expecting" of the idea of it being a "real date" if you mention that later.

I'm a firm believer in Friends First, Couple Later, and see no reason why you shouldn't go this way.

Like vampbarbie said, she may be mentioning other guys to make your jealous... or se could be mentioning them because she's been waiting for you to make a move, but is considering other guys because she's tired of waiting. And as sort of a "I'm availiable and looking" message.