How should I go about asking out personal trainer?

[Makaveli]

Long time, no post....

I have a new situation on my hands. I have developed quite a crush on a personal trainer that works at the gym I go to over the last few months. Over the last few weeks, I decided she might be the girl of my dreams and I want to ask her out. So, yesterday I decided I'd go ahead and ask her out next time I saw her and she wasn't busy with clients. Well, she was busy today, but then she happened to be at member services where I was renewing my membership. I was dealing with the membership guy and she was next to him. She made a joke about him to me and I laughed.

After I finished the membership stuff, I started up a conversation with her about becoming a personal trainer because it is something I'm interested in (this was what I was planning to talk to her about before asking her out). Unfortunately, the membership guy was next to her the whole time so the convo ended and I didn't want to ask her out right there.

I can't decide now if I should talk to her more next time I get a chance and then ask her out or just go up to her and ask her out? I'm not sure how to say it either since I've been going there for months and this might seem out of the blue to her. I think she may be interested since I've seen her look at me and she seemed like she tried to joke with me today, but I'm not sure. I dont' think I made a good impression, unfortunately, since I was basically interviewing her like I had a stick up my ass. But, I was friendly so I still want to try this.

Does anybody have any advice on how I should ask her and whether I should build up more rapport beforehand or just go for it? The wildcard here is that 95% of the time she is with a client and can't be bothered. The other 5% she is sometimes by herself so that's my only shot, but no matter what there's not too much time for conversation.

Thanks!

[StrayDog]

I don't know the full story, besides what you told me (obviously).

But one word of unsolicited advice:

It's always a common mistake to assume that people in the service industry as being personally friendly and accomodating to you as a PERSON and not just as a CUSTOMER.

[toychoke]

This is very true. I myself have hired a personal trainer over the summer to teach me some things. Basically I want to get in better shape and what not. So I figured I'd better talk to someone that knew more about it than myself. She's a great girl and what not, but we haven't quiet crossed the line between client and service yet. While I have her personal cell phone number and her AIM name, I'd say we have a little ways to go before she and I could even be considered friends outside of the working environment.

For the longest time I was afriad of putting her in the ackward position of being my friend only because she didn't want to lose a client. So do keep in mind that people like this always have to deal with this kind of stuff. Hell they go to whole training sessions on how to deal with clients and people that might ask them to a more personal event.

I'd suggest developing more of a friendship first before asking her out on a date. Maybe if you have something that you could invite her along on. Something that is a good mix of both guys and girls that are personal friends of yours. I wouldn't recommend something that is just you and your buds, because it will make her feel ackward to be the only girl in the group, at first.

But as StrayDog said, do keep in mind they are nice to attract clients first and formost. After that you'll have to break through the initial barrier of the service based industry.

[Deidre]

Have you spoken to her outside of the gym at any point? Ever spoken to her about her personal life outside of the gym? If not, your chances seem very small (and even then, she might just be a very outgoing person, but I've heard few service people speak about their own lives with their client, aside from my mother's hairdresser and my mother has been going to her for 25 years) - unless she has a huge secret crush on you and the gym doesn't allow the employees to date members.

I concur: she's working. Her work is to please you with her knowledge of training and to be pleasing so that you'll stay at the gym. She gets paid to be friendly to you and make you want to come back and see her again. Unless you have clear signs of otherwise, don't assume anything...

[hunny]

This is all very true. As someone who works in the "service industry" (I'm a waitress), we do try to be nice to people. It doesn't usually mean we're interested in them. It means we want to keep our job, keep you coming back, and, in my case, get a decent tip.
SLightly off topic here, but did you know t here's a whole 'science' of getting better tips? For example, touching the shoulder or arm of the guy customer who is going to be paying often results in a better tip. So if your waitress seems to 'like' you, she's probably just trying to earn a living. :D

Anyway, Mak, like the others have told you, don't read anything personal into her 'professional' demeanor. Unless you talk to her outside of work, you shouldn't ask her out while she's on the job. I've got to say that I've NEVER dated anybody who asked me out while working, at any job I've had. I've worked as a waitress, and as a cashier, and gotten hit on countless times. It's not a good idea to make dates where you work.

[SmOkYpRiNcEsS]

Yeah I read an article recently in Allure magazine actually about how the lines are so blurred with dating and personal trainers. I had a trainer a lil while ago and I can definately understand what the article said. Anywho, it is going to be hard to ask her out because she is tecnically at work. I'd just casually bring it up, maybe if you have similar interests, bring up an event or a movie or something and say "maybe we should catch that sometime"...maybe thats kinda weird, I don't know, but since she is at work, being really direct might not be the best approach. Good Luck.